Hesitation
by A Wanderer in the Snow
Summary: Anticipated sequel to 'Convictions': Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs; can Lily see through the facade, or will her trust fail in the boys she thought had changed.
1. Chapter 1, Life

**Life**

* * *

><p>October swept in and the air turned abruptly cool, the trees on the edge of the Forbidden Forest took an edge of tension tinged with brown at the prospect of oncoming storms. There was a bite in the air on the way to Herbology in the mornings and frost threatened to appear each night. James Potter could feel the Quidditch season beginning as he jogged down to the pitch, he breathed deeply and realised that life was good.<p>

This year everything had changed.

Sirius had bounced back after the full moon; for a few days he had been almost uncontrollable, swinging between moods of guilt-ridden despair and ecstatic enjoyment of the simplest things life could throw at him. Remus had retreated into the shadows, as expected, but after some careful coaxing, persuasion and blatant blackmail, James had pulled him back to somewhere near his normal self. Peter, of course, was still simply in awe of the whole ordeal; Sirius had almost got Snape killed, James had stepped in at the last minute, and Remus had nearly torn him limb from limb.

On top of all that, they were covering up their Animagus abilities and trying to create the un-createable; a combination of map, pensieve and ward key. Then, thrown into the mix was the Gryffindor Quidditch team, of which James was now Captain and James' new found hope in Lily Evans. He still didn't know what emotion he had seen in her eyes that night as he told his tale of woe, werewolves and a painful trip to St Mungo's, but he did know that her opinion had changed.

In the past week and a half though, he had barely had time to see her; he'd been given a Special Award for Services to the School, he'd been trying to bolster Remus' faith in himself, stop Sirius flying off the handle over inconsequential matters, keep Peter calm, do his school work, uncover new Quidditch moves and research arcane magic that no school student ought to be studying.

He took another deep breath of cool, dawn air. But for him, he was glad to be alive, happy to be able to get up and simply _live_.

* * *

><p>Lily was wondering what had happened in the last few weeks.<p>

She was bright enough to realise that James Potter had started to change before he had ended up in St Mungo's, but the boy now was… he was incredibly different to the person he had been last year.

Yes, he had still been an idiot on the train back to school, but somewhere between then and now he had stopped being the fool and started being… something else.

She hadn't seen him in break any rules, not since the werewolf incident, and he hadn't been anything other than, well, almost normal recently. As normal as James Potter could be.

He hadn't even spoken to her since she had hugged him. But then, she hadn't tried to speak to him; after so many years it felt odd just to accept his presence anywhere near her. The Marauders had even stopped being so obnoxiously loud.

Was it James or was it all of them? Only time would tell.

* * *

><p>'So these Gryffindor scum drag you out into the Forest?'<p>

'Yes.' Severus admitted, blushing a dull red.

'And say they're going to leave you?'

'Yes.' he choked through gritted teeth.

'Then the werewolf turns up?'

'Yes, you know this already.'

'Someone is going to pay for this; it's an insult to Slytherin, not just you, Snape. This isn't personal anymore.'

Severus looked round at the ugly looks on the other boys' faces; Lily had told him to follow Rosier's example, but after what Black, Potter, Lupin and Pettigrew had done...


	2. Chapter 2, The Bloatfish Incident

**The Bloatfish Incident**

* * *

><p>James was in the library, not out of choice. He was looking for the oldest copy of '<em>Hogwarts: A History<em>' he could get hold of, one that wasn't on the library lists; Madame Pince probably didn't even know it was there.

The Marauders hadn't just stumbled across five of the purported eight secret passageways out of Hogwarts by accident; they had done some very serious research. You just had to know exactly where to look, exactly what to say and exactly when to say it. All of which was knowledge gleaned from ancient books, stories and hearsay.

For example; how many people knew there were actually two entrances to the Slytherin dungeons? The Marauders had used the second entrance a couple of times; firstly to drop a niffler inside during the night, back in Fifth Year, and the second time they had removed every item of furniture in the Common Room.

Of course, teachers had questioned the wall that guarded the first entrance, but no one had thought to ask the portrait of Sargona the Sadistic if anyone had used the second, long-forgotten entrance. Not that she would have told them anything anyway; firstly she hadn't seen anything and secondly she thought the Slytherins were far too 'kind' these days anyway. The Marauders had got clean away; it paid to do your homework after all.

James was looking for a book, in the library, in the Restricted Section; because it supposedly mentioned what exactly what wards were guarding the castle. Sirius had found it referenced in, '_Gryffindor: Guardian of the Ages'_, and James had been sent out to recover it.

When they could, they made their trips to the library during the day, under James' invisibility cloak; their reputation would take a terrible toll if they were seen in the library for anything other than the most dire of reasons. Also, the number of students distracting Madam Pince was far greater than in the middle of the night.

James was heading for the very back of the library, and praying that they were right; hours of reading had gone into this little expedition and he didn't want it to be a failure. He reached the end of the aisle and turned right, finding a battered reading lectern and a cupboard by the wall. He ignored both and walked on past, suddenly he turned around and shouted, 'BOO!' at the top of his voice.

Two things happened at the same time; the library went even quieter than usual, even the rustling of parchment and pages stopped, the cupboard also burst open in surprise. James stifled a laugh and grabbed the three books that were sitting on the single shelf of the cupboard, then he whipped his cloak back over his head and began to walk softly, and silently, away.

Madam Pince appeared seconds later, staring about her with suspended, ferocious anger. James tried not to laugh as he ducked around the corner.

Finally, after glaring suspiciously in all directions, he heard her mutter, 'Peeves…' and walk away. James headed for the exit. At first The Marauders had been surprised by Hogwarts' numerous oddities; doors you had to ask nicely to open, stairs that went somewhere different on a Tuesday. After five years though, a cupboard that had to be scared open, was hardly a strange thing; but it was well placed in the library, where noise was definitely not tolerated.

James was halfway back to Gryffindor Tower when he heard the first scream.

* * *

><p>Lily had decided that she needed to talk to Severus; he had been ignoring her recently and had been hanging out with Mulciber, Avery and Wilkes even more than usual. After recent events neither of which were particularly good things.<p>

She had decided the best time would be between the end of their lessons and supper; they both had a free lesson last thing on Thursday, when he probably wouldn't be doing anything. So she was heading down to the library, where he might be doing their Defence essay; two feet on Shield charms, their modern uses and adaptations.

She made it to the fourth floor before she heard a _bang_ and very suddenly cut off yell, then several high-pitched screams. Lily began to run.

* * *

><p>She arrived on the third floor, robes fluttering from her shoulders to find something massive blocking the entire corridor and James Potter laughing his head off. He turned round as she approached and raised his hands in surrender, 'It wasn't me!' he tried to say seriously, with a huge grin on his face.<p>

Lily just gaped at the… the… the _thing_ blocking the corridor, 'Potter? What is _that_?'

James tried to look serious again and failed, 'It's a Japanese Bloatfish.'

'A _what_?' she had never heard of such a thing, but there was something huge, brownish and slimy looking filling the corridor. There appeared to a floating bubble of water about halfway up it.

'A Japanese Bloatfish.' James repeated.

'Get rid of it.' Lily snapped; she had obviously been wrong about the Marauders changing, this was exactly the kind of thing they though was funny.

An odd noise came from the strange mass before James could answer though.

'What was that?' Lily asked hesitantly, taking a step back in case something happened.

'Wormtail? You're going to have to explain…' James said, stepping aside to reveal Peter Pettigrew.

The noise came again.

'Err… Hi, Lily.' Peter mumbled.

Lily glared at him.

'I… err… Mulciber…'

James took over the telling of the story, 'It's like this Lily; we brought this cute little fellow-' he started, gesturing at the mass filling the corridor.

'Cute?' Lily asked sceptically, 'Little?'

'Not at the moment, but most of the time. Anyway, we brought him back to school with us; Sirius thought there ought to be one in the Lake. We've been keeping it in a jar in our dorm-'

'A jar?' Lily asked incredulously.

'Yup, a jar. Anyway, it was beginning to look ill, so Wormtail here thought he'd take it down and put it in the Lake like we wanted. So he came down, but then Mulciber tried to curse him, and… and… Peter panicked-' he broke off as fresh gales of laughter overwhelmed him and had to lean against the wall for support.

Lily waited, patiently, looking suspiciously from Peter to James. Eventually Peter said sheepishly, 'I… I threw it at him.'

'You threw a _fish_ at Mulciber?' She asked, bewildered, looking from the boy who was shorter than she was to the thing blocking the corridor. That odd noise came again.

'Um… yeah.' Peter mumbled.

James had recovered, 'Um, Lily?'

'Yes?' she said, turning back to him.

'Have you ever heard of a Pufferfish?'

'The little fish that puff up when they get scared?'

'Yeah, well, Bloatfish are a bit like them… they, well…' he seemed a bit hesitant, 'bloat when they get scared; only they get a lot bigger than pufferfish when they do.'

Something clicked in Lily's head, 'Where's Mulciber?' she asked suspiciously.

James grinned, 'When Peter threw the fish, it got scared and bloated and kind of… well, Mulciber's the one making the noise…'

Lily suddenly noticed the foot sticking out from between the Bloatfish and the wall.

'James! Get rid of that fish, I think he's suffocating!' she almost screamed at him.

'Um, Lily, I can't; Bloatfish repel magic. They're worse than Dragons in that respect; I think they're up there with Chimaera actually.' James said, scratching his head.

'_What_?' Lily asked in consternation.

'Potter! What is _that_!' Professor McGonagall had arrived.

* * *

><p>An hour later and much explaining, Peter had been given two detentions; one for cruelty to animals and the second for using that cruelty to block school corridors. Unfortunately, Mulciber was going to have to stay where he was until the poor fish calmed down and deflated. Every attempt to shrink the fish had failed and Muciber had been forced to use a bubble-head charm to breathe.<p>

Several people were able to attest to James' innocence, and he got off.

James had put a reverse bubble charm around the fish's head and gills so it could breathe. Professor Kettleburn appeared on his crutches at some point and congratulated James on being able to get hold of one; apparently he had been looking for one for years. James kindly offered it into Professor Kettleburn's care once it had deflated and got twenty points for Gryffindor for doing so.

* * *

><p>Lily wasn't sure what to think; James had obviously not known about what was going to happen beforehand, but Lily couldn't help but assume that he had something to do with it. Only the Marauders would bring something like <em>that<em> into the castle.

'Hey, Lily!'

It was Caradoc Deardorn, one of the Ravenclaw Prefects, 'Oh, hi!'

'You going down to supper?'

Lily like Caradoc; he was one of the Prefects she preferred being on duty with. He was clever and had a wry sense of humour, he was also very helpful to the younger years. Lily considered for a moment; it was far too late to find Severus now, 'Yeah, I've just had to deal with that thing on the third floor.'

'The bloatfish? I heard Pettigrew threw it at Mulciber?' he replied with a grin.

'Something like that,' Lily replied.

'Well, I'm sure he'll have time to _mullet_ over in detention,' Caradoc replied, letting her lead the way down the stairs.

It took Lily a few seconds, and then she sighed and shook her head, 'That was appalling.'

'Yeah, well, it was a _turtle_ disaster, for Mulciber, wasn't it.'

Lily couldn't help but giggle, it was just getting worse.

'I mean, he was the _gill-ty _one after all.'

'Oh, God, shush!'

He finally stopped and said seriously, 'I suppose he'll be there for a few hours, wonder how they'll deflate it?'

'No idea, James said something about them repelling magic…'

'Yeah, they're tougher than Dragons in that respect, but they're actually pretty cute otherwise.'

Lily turned to see if he was trying to be funny again and he caught her look.

'We have to know about them for Kettleburn's lessons, my Uncle Gilbert also works in Experimental Charms in the Ministry and apparently they've been using Bloatfish skin for some of their experiments,' he explained, 'I've seen pictures and they're funny little things when they're small.'

'Um… really?'

He grinned again at her expression, 'Yeah, they've got puppy eyes that are way too big for them.'

They reached the Entrance Hall and Lily was about to go in for supper when he stopped her, suddenly looking a little tense, 'Um, Lily?'

She stopped and turned to him, 'Yeah?'

'I was wondering if you wanted to go to the Hogsmeade trip with me? It doesn't have to be like a date or anything, but if you want to…'

Lily stood shocked for a moment, then two people's words ran through her mind:

"Did you see Black looking at that new Professor at the feast? I think he's got more chance with her than Lily has of getting a boyfriend!" Alice teased gently.

"Someone will come along when you're least expecting it, darling."

'I…' Lily fumbled for a decision, before she said decisively, 'Yes, I'd like that,' with a shy smile.

'Great!' Caradoc grinned broadly, showing white, even teeth, 'Well, I'll see you around then.'

'See you!' Lily called and went to find a place at the Gryffindor Table.

* * *

><p>James sat down with a grin at the Gryffindor Table; Peter was still being lectured by McGonagall on cruelty to fish. He thought it would be hilarious if Mulciber got cramp while he stuck against the wall.<p>

'Where have you been? Remus asked.

'Wormtail threw the Bloatfish at Mulciber.' James replied airily.

'He _what?_' Remus choked on a mouthful of cottage pie as Sirius sprayed juice across the table.

Peter joined them a little later, grinning at them despite McGonagall's punishment. It wasn't long afterwards that McGonagall herself found James and handed him a roll of parchment. Sirius looked up, still trying to control his laughter from when Peter had finally arrived and described his version of events.

James unrolled it and his eyes flew wide, then he whispered, 'Yes!'

Sirius leaned over and read, '_Gryffindor vs Slytherin, November 1__st__._'

'I've seen Compton's team this year; he's only gone and stuck bloody Regulus as Seeker,' Sirius complained, as though that would stop him hitting his bludgers as hard and fast as he possibly could. He had the vague idea that he might knock some sense into his younger brother.

If not, then next year, Reg might learn to avoid him like the plague.

In Sirius view, friends came first, then House, then family. Regulus Black was very much neither of the first two.

Remus looked up and grinned as he read the scroll, 'You're going to play extreme then?'

James gave him an evil grin, 'Oh, yes,' he nodded.

James had been working on two styles of play; standard and extreme. The Gryffindor team had whole heartedly agreed to both; that was why James had only accepted people who would give everything they had to the team.

Each year, the Slytherin-Gryffindor match left at least one person in the Hospital Wing. Last year Harry Donovan had ended up with a broken leg and spell damage after the Slytherin Beaters had drawn their wands instead of using their bats.

James was grinning like a cat though; Remus and he had worked on some increasingly good plans for ploughing through the Slytherin defence. They were still worrying about protecting Tommy though; the boy was liable to headbutt one of the bludgers on purpose just to show he could take it. Even James had finally given in and labelled him, 'Nutcase' Ransom.

'Right,' James said, rolling the scroll back up, 'Team meeting after supper is in order, I believe.'

* * *

><p>Lily was mulling over Caradoc's sudden interest in her and considering him from her place at the Gryffindor table. He wasn't particularly tall; not like Remus, but he had a nice face and was relatively popular. He hung out with Benjy Fenwick and Finn Quigley a lot; he was a reserve for the Ravenclaw Quidditch Team and was in the Charms Club with her. She thought she'd see how Hogsmeade went and hoped it wasn't ridiculously awkward.<p>

Maybe he'd even make it to Hogsmeade, in the past she had suspected James of sabotaging her dates but when she had summed up the courage to ask Remus, he had said he hadn't done anything. Lily believed him and put it down to her awful luck.

Suddenly Dorcas put down her knife and fork on her unfinished plate of cottage pie and got up to leave. James was walking down the table tapping certain people on their shoulders as he went. The Gryffindor Quidditch team abandoned their suppers without complaint and followed their Captain.

She couldn't understand him; one minute he was laughing and joking with the Marauders, the next he was the serious Quidditch Captain who commanded respect and obedience at the slightest word.

'Lily, you're staring,' Mary pointed out, sharing a grin with Laura.

Mary had been more surprised than anyone when Lily had got up and hugged James Potter when he returned. Yes, the girl had been crying after they were told he was dying in St Mungo's, but she expected the usual, blunt, distant Lily when he returned. Instead, something had changed; she had even heard Lily call him, "James".

She didn't know what Lily was thinking recently; Lily was one of those girls who kept herself to herself, but she was still Mary's best friend and Mary knew something was up. She had noticed James had been ignoring Lily lately, perhaps embarrassed by Lily's display when he got back, whole and healthy.

Was there something going on there? Lily had just been staring at him.

Lily frowned and said, 'He's changed,' ambiguously.

'S'true,' said Laura, 'He's got a bit boring recently.'

'He's not boring, just different.'

Laura turned and looked at her as though she had gone mad, 'Has someone slipped you a Love Potion?'

'What?' Lily asked, confused.

'What's with the whole, "oh, James!" thing.' She accused.

'What "whole, oh James!" thing?' Lily snapped back, narrowing her eyes.

Laura thought better of it, 'Oh, never mind,' she huffed, giving in and wondering whether to accept Harry Greene's invitation to go to Hogsmeade with him, he was in the year below after all.


	3. Chapter 3, Ward Management

**Ward Management**

* * *

><p>'Mate, you do realise that it's going to be the best weekend ever: Halloween on Friday, we'll trash the Slytherins on Saturday, then Hogsmeade on Sunday. What more can you ask for?' Sirius crowed sweeping his arms wide as if daring the world to try and contradict him.<p>

'A little peace and quiet?' Remus groaned, covering his head with a pillow. He was still suffering after the full moon.

It had been a strangely subdued night; the werewolf reluctant to leave the Shack, and the Animagi had been wary of every sudden move it made. No one had any inclination to repeat last full moon's events; so it had been an odd night of creeping along, being a lot quieter than usual and almost, well, boring. The October full moon had also fallen on a Monday, which didn't help anyone and they were all exhausted in the aftermath.

Sirius was practically glowing though at the thought of a Feast, followed by the Quidditch match of the year, followed by a day in Hogsmeade. He had a plan for the day; spending some time with the Marauders and then meeting up with Lizzy. It was going to be a damn good weekend, and of course, they'd have to stock up on fireworks. It was Dorcas' birthday on the fifth of November, as well as Muggle Bonfire Night, and the Marauders never missed a chance for a party.

Sirius was looking forward to food, violence and certain activities that a day when most of the teachers thought everyone would be at Hogsmeade, would entail. Hopefully the Prefect's bathroom would be free; he had to remember to thank Remus for giving them the new password.

'Come on, Padfoot, I said I'd give Wormy a hand with his Potions,' James said, trying to coax Sirius out of the dorm so Remus could sleep, he patted his pockets, 'I'm sure I've got a biscuit here somewhere…'

Then he turned and ran as Sirius dived for him.

A few seconds later there was a scream from the Common Room, then the door banged shut and Remus lay back, closing his eyes. Hopefully he might be able to get some sleep now, he rolled over, exhausted muscles groaning in agony and almost immediately lost himself amid the duvet and pillows.

* * *

><p>James sprinted down the stairs, Sirius hot on his tail and dived over the top of the first sofa, rolling across the floor and almost knocking over a first year girl. She screamed hysterically, a little over the top, James thought as he came to his feet and made for Peter, only to hit the floor suddenly as Sirius dodged the sofa, dived full length and tap tackled him.<p>

He rolled over and found himself staring up at an angry looking Lily Evans.

'Hey, Lily, I can see right up your skirt from here,' he said without thinking.

_Bollocks_, he thought and said hastily, 'Just joking, sorry, that's the Padfoot in me speaking,' as she blushed and stepped quickly away from him.

She glared at him then actually spoke politely; not a demand, or shouting, or even a telling off. She asked, nicely, with only the hint of a glare in her eyes, 'Can you give me a hand with my Transfiguration?'

Sirius got the hint before Lily had even finished speaking; he jumped to his feet and headed across the room towards Peter, playfulness cast aside like a wet jacket. He went without even a cocky, 'Is that all you want a hand with, Evans?' and James was incredibly grateful. But then Sirius had been a bit different ever since the full moon incident; he seemed to react to James' least emotion and was spending a lot more time with Lizzy lately than he had any other girlfriend.

* * *

><p>Lily was walking across to Alice to ask for help with her Transfiguration, when something flew across the room, just missing a First year and landed at her feet. It was James Potter.<p>

He looked up at her from where he lay and told her quite frankly that he could see up her skirt. Then he suddenly apologised as he clambered to his feet, not a hint of a flush on his cheeks and Lily realised just how tall he was; she wasn't small, but she had to tilt her head back to look him in the eye. She stammered the first thing that came into her head; he was quite intimidating up close.

'I… er… Can you give me a hand with my Transfiguration?'

'Sure,' he said, and Lily knew she shouldn't have asked; he probably had far better things to do.

'I… Oh, don't worry, really; I'll ask Alice.'

'No, it's fine. I'll help; Alice looks busy.' He said without even looking round at where Alice and Frank were ensconced in an armchair near the fire. How had he had time to see them while fighting across the Common Room?

'I… err, okay,' Lily replied, blushing even further, 'Um, I'm working over here,' and turned away for a relatively quiet corner of the Common Room.

She led the way over and sat down in her chair before realising there wasn't another one nearby for James, 'Oh, um…'

'It's alright,' he said and pulled out his wand, a second later a hard-backed, wooden chair with a seat cushion appeared next to Lily's.

She stared.

'I… when did you learn to do that? We haven't done Conjuring yet…' She really seemed to have a speech problem this evening.

'Oh, was bored one evening and it's really not that hard,' He muttered offhand, leaning across the table to look at her notes.

'You were _bored_ one evening? So you learnt advanced Conjuration?' Lily asked, amazed.

'It's not advanced,' He muttered something else under his breath that Lily didn't catch, before clearing his throat, 'Right, first of all; you've got Silas' Formula all wrong, it's got nothing to do with Ossein Transfiguration; that would be Yasov's Dichotomy.'

'Oh,' Lily managed, marvelling once more at the change from laughing Marauder to business-like student; it was a side of James she had never actually seen.

James was scribbling notes across a piece of parchment that he had produced from somewhere, 'You see, Silas' Formula is to do with the sub-effects of Tissue Transfiguration on the nature of Inter-species Switches, which is essentially vital if you're doing any kind of Human Transfiguration.'

Lily felt just as lost as before she had gone to ask Alice for help, but something about the concentration on James' face as he sat beside her and sketched out an odd looking diagram made her refrain from interrupting him.

* * *

><p>'Alright?'<p>

Lily jumped; he was looking right into her eyes, 'Um, yeah, got it.'

She blushed again as she realised she had been staring at his lips as they moved, 'Good, I said I'd help Peter with his Potions; but if you want anything just shout,' before she could answer this he leant back in his chair and called across the room, 'Oi, Padfoot! What page was the Silas Formula on?'

Sirius looked up and shouted back, 'Three, Five, Six.'

'Cheers!'

He turned back to her and gave her an uncharacteristically reserved smile , 'If you want a slightly less detailed explanation, look at page three hundred and fifty six.'

Then he was up and walking away towards Black and Pettigrew, who was frowning beside a pile of scrunched up pieces of parchment. She realised she was staring and tried to snap out of her stupor, wondering how in God's name James knew all of that; he hadn't once referred to her notes and only had to ask Padfoot, no, Black, she mentally corrected herself, for a page number.

She looked down at the diagram and realised it was a flow chart of Transfiguration mechanisms, and on the other side was a simple, but detailed explanation of the Silas Formula. She hadn't even noticed him turn over the page.

A little note at the bottom read, '_I noticed you were looking a bit bored with me waffling on, so I wrote it down for you._'

Lily looked up at the boys who were now huddled around Peter and his essay. How did Black remember things like that and when did Potter have the time to learn Conjuration?

* * *

><p>James walked away from Lily; she had looked bored to tears from the moment he had started talking. She had just been staring vacantly at him, probably tired and fed-up with Transfiguration, so he had written it down for her to read later. He wasn't entirely sure why she had asked him in the first place; maybe she was just trying to make an effort.<p>

He sat down beside Sirius and Peter and said, 'So, did we get anywhere with the Runes?'

Sirius raised an eyebrow and completely failed to answer his question, 'Prongs? How do you do it? You just had the girl of your dreams drooling over you as you explained Silas' _sodding _Formula.'

'What? She was bored to tears; even I could tell that.'

'Bollocks, Prongs; she was just about ready to snog you by the end of that.'

'Padfoot, stop taking the piss.'

'God, if I could make working that exciting, me and Lizzy would never stop doing _homework_.' Sirus replied with revealing grin.

'Padfoot, we don't want to know about you and Lizzy,' Peter sighed.

'Fine…' Sirius rolled his eyes at them, 'Bunch of poofs,' he muttered.

'So, Runes.' James prompted.

Peter looked up, from shuffling through a sheaf of parchment, the top page of which was covered in his Potions notes, 'We've established the major ones. We've also found some pretty nasty wards that can be activated to defend the castle if the Headmaster so chooses.'

'Awesome! What about them?'

'Oh, the usual,' Sirius muttered, 'Decapitation, incineration, disembowelment, oh, and an exciting one that made your head implode.'

James just nodded, 'Sounds great, but what about detection wards?'

Sirius leant across and yanked the sheaf of parchment out of Peter's hands, flicking through them for the one he wanted, 'We think we've got the one we want; reckon it monitors movement within the castle.'

James' eyes lit up, 'That's exactly what we want!'

'But it doesn't monitor where,' Peter added, eyeing the tear Sirius had just carelessly made in his Potions essay.

'Ah, well, in that case, that's where we make adjustments.'

Sirius' face took on a slightly doubtful look, 'Yeah, mate, there's a slight problem with that; a lot of the nastier wards are designed to activate immediately if anyone tampers with, well, any of them.'

James' face fell, 'Oh.'

'There's also the small matter of the pensieve idea; Remus is more than a little worried about the whole "taking years to recover".' Sirius said with a frown, to be honest, he felt a bit off about it too. With the whole Snape incident only just over, it seemed a little soon to be throwing their lives around again. James didn't appear too bothered though.

'Come on, Padfoot, it's not like it's going to hurt us or anything; one person builds a pensieve. Four of us are making a map…'

'Hey! Potter!'

James head snapped up; Mary MacDonald was approaching. Sirius shuffled Peter's essay to the top of the pile.

'Yeah?'

Mary stopped a metre or two away, 'Can I have a word with you?'

James frowned, 'Sure,' and he got up to follow her. Sirius gave them a wolf-whistle that made everyone in the Common Room looked up.

James played up to par though, and gave the room a wink, "I'm just going outside and I may be some time," he quoted to the room with a wink as Mary led him through the Portrait Hole. A few people grinned back, and Mary tutted at him.

* * *

><p>The Portrait Hole closed, Mary turned to him, glaring and said aggressively, 'Potter, leave her alone.'<p>

'_What?_' James asked, completely confused.

'Leave Lily alone.' she repeated, annunciating each word with zeal.

James just about reeled at the sudden onslaught, 'I've barely spoken to her.'

'Look, Potter; just drop the pretty boy act, we all know you're not like that.'

Little Mary actually looked angry, and James tried not to grin.

'Come on, MacDonald, stop playing the fool,' he tried.

'No, Potter; just leave her alone before you do something stupid like you did to Carson!' She spat venomously.

That was a low blow and James felt himself pale with anger and shame, 'I never tried to hurt her,' he said as honestly and truthful as he could sound.

'Yeah, and look what you still managed to do.'

James' temper snapped; he wasn't going to stand and be lectured by some tiny little girl who had no idea who he even was, 'How about you mind your own business, MacDonald. She was the one who asked me for help; I didn't go out of my way to get her attention.'

'You practically threw yourself at her feet!'

James' chest swelled in outrage, 'Look, MacDonald, things happen and if she wants to spend time with me, then that's her decision. If you were a better friend you'd accept that.'

Immediately he regretted his words; it wasn't her fault she didn't know what he was thinking, it wasn't her fault he had spent years building some ridiculous persona. But suddenly she had tears in her eyes, 'You know what, Potter, you _are _an arrogant bastard. Lily was right in the first place. And if _you_ knew anything of friendship you wouldn't have broken Sophie's heart!'

Then she turned on her heel, snapped the password at the Fat Lady and disappeared into the Common Room leaving James with the empty feeling in his stomach that their conversation could not have gone any worse. Something bad would come of it.

Yes, he had enjoyed spending half an hour or so, simply sitting beside Lily and trying to explain Transfiguration laws. Even if she wasn't listening. Being close enough to simply glance across at her face and almost feel how smooth her cheeks were with his eyes was intoxicating.

MacDonald had no idea what he felt, and even less about friendship.

Suddenly angry at her, himself and the whole world, James stalked away down the corridor, ignoring the fact that Sirius and Peter were waiting for him. He didn't care.

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **For those of you who don't know, this is being rewritten, but reviews are still appreciated!


	4. Chapter 4, Banshees and Blood

**Banshees and Blood**

* * *

><p>Lily was doodling on her parchment; a pair of eyes gazed back up at her, wide and clear, with white all around the iris. Usually they were very feminine, but today they had a hard, indefinably male edge to them. She had shaded them in roughly with ink, but imagined them to be golden brown; the kind of eyes that you could get lost in, stare at for hours, but would gaze calmly back no matter what happened.<p>

She tried to rouse herself and listen to what Professor Jenson was saying about defensive measures, but the classroom was too warm to concentrate. They'd had Herbology all morning in the freezing Greenhouses while Mary, Laura and Dorcas had been lazing in bed. After trekking back through freezing gusts of wind, a steamy shower and a hot lunch, Lily just wanted to curl up in her bed again, or in the Common Room near the fire.

Dorcas was complaining about the wind and how awful Quidditch Practice would be later.

'It'll blow itself out by Saturday,' she heard Black mutter as he glanced out the window and James murmured a soft agreement.

October was coming to an end already and it seemed that the term was rushing past incredibly quickly. They had been at school for almost two months.

Something flew past her head and landed on Rosier's desk as Professor Jenson turned to the blackboard. Rosier gathered the note up quickly and stuffed it out of sight as the young Professor turned back round, he was still sitting beside Mary and they seemed to be getting along fine. Mary had said he was actually really nice; "not like Avery and Mulciber."

Lily looked round at the other Slytherin boys, but they were all writing. She caught Severus' glance across at Mary though and immediately knew it had been him who threw the note.

Professor Jenson divided them up into pairs, mostly on a seating basis and Lily went with Laura to practise counter-hexes. The desks were cleared to the side of the room; James and Black were split up in a bid to prevent them causing mayhem. James ended up with Will Darr who looked slightly apprehensive and Black got Tara Canton-Fell, who rolled her eyes as he winked at her.

Then they were throwing spells at each other; strictly limited to the prescribed ones on the blackboard. Still, there was an echoing _bang_ a few seconds later and Remus lay crumpled against the wall as Avery tried to quell his sniggering to mutter, 'Sorry, bad aim…'

Remus struggled to his feet, gasping for breath and glared daggers at the Slytherins who were grinning sadistically in the corner. Professor Jenson had been trying to help Mary with her counter-hex and had missed what Lily assumed was a deliberate attempt to hurt Remus. He seemed alright though and flourished his wand at Peter who squeaked something that definitely wasn't a counter-hex.

* * *

><p>Friday afternoon arrived and the Gryffindor Quidditch Team were high over the pitch, battling the stormy weather and trying to exact perfection in the howling gale.<p>

'IT'S USELESS!' Dorcas screamed as the Quaffle soared past her once again, well out of reach, 'THE WIND IS TOO STRONG FOR REVERSE PASSES!'

'WE'LL RUN IT AGAIN!' James shouted back.

It was getting darker by the second and if anything the wind was getting worse, 'IF WE CAN DO IT IN THIS, WE'LL BE FINE TOMORROW: IT'll BLOW OUT OVERNIGHT!'

Dorcas almost screamed back at him in frustration; they had been out there for three hours and they could hardly see. She was soaked from the flurries of rain that swept through with the heavier gusts and just about frozen to her broomstick.

After three more attempts though, the conditions were only getting worse and James blew his whistle to call it a day. They had just over an hour to get back inside, shower and change for the Feast.

'BLACK! BLACK! FIND THOSE DAMN BLUDGERS!' James yelled into the ever darkening sky.

Sirius appeared next to him, 'PACKED THEM UP AN HOUR AGO!' he called.

They landed and ran for the changing rooms. James heaved the door shut after George ducked through and looked round at his dripping team, 'I think we'll be alright,' he rasped, throat raw from shouting into the storm.

'Bloody well hope so,' Tommy muttered, 'I haven't felt properly dry all week.'

'Right, let's hit the showers before the Feast starts; remember we need to be up early tomorrow!'

'Yeah, yeah, we know, James,' Hannah sighed, squeezing water out of her hair.

* * *

><p>James, Sirius, Remus and Peter entered the Great Hall and would have been amazed if they hadn't sneaked in earlier to set up some celebratory extras. Rumours had been flying round the school for a week that Dumbledore had booked 'Banshee and the Wailers', for an after feast dance.<p>

They found the ceiling a bruised purple, swirling with clouds and arcing lightning bolts. Every so often a break in the cloud would reveal a daemonic looking quarter moon, with glaring red eyes and grinning mouth full of fangs like shards of glass. Thousands of coloured candles hovered over the tables; vibrant red, ghostly blue, sunny yellow and sickly green. Suits of armour creaked menacingly; rusting and wielding weapons that looked as freshly bloodstained as if they had just trooped in off the battlefield.

The Marauders grinned at the lot of them, finding their places at the Gryffindor table and sitting with the girls of their year. Fifth Years and above were allowed to stay after the feast for the dancing, and they all had their best dress robes on; even Peter looked alright after he had scrubbed up and Remus had persuaded him into a pale blue contraption that went somewhat with his watery eyes.

Sirius sought out Lizzy by the Ravenclaw table before he sat down though, resplendent in a set of silvery-grey robes that never quite seemed to stay the same shade. He met Lizzy with a passionate kiss, earning a frown from McGonagall before he left her blushing happily and descended languidly into the seat beside James.

'Catch you later, babe,' he whispered as he left her.

'Wow, Lily, you look…. Well, wow…' James was literally speechless; Lily had an English green dress on that revealed her lower neck without being too avant-garde. It showed off her pale skin, brought out her wonderful eyes and hugged her slim waist without being too bold.

James could have stared at her all night, but Dorcas broke in; complaining that her useless Quidditch Captain had kept her so long she didn't have time to sort herself out properly. Nevertheless, Remus leaned across almost instantly and told her in no uncertain terms that she looked utterly ravishing, his eyes glittering like diamonds. His gentlemanly statement only caused an outbreak of giggling on the far side of the table, and he grinned wolfishly at them.

Then Dumbledore was standing up, his eyes twinkling above spangled lunar robes of haunting green. He gave a short introduction to the Feast, welcomed them and the food appeared.

* * *

><p>An hour or two later a stage had appeared and the younger years were reminded to be on their way, while several people took up instruments on the stage itself.<p>

'Banshee' Bob himself appeared and waved merrily to the crowd, dressed in black robes covered in ominous, multi-coloured stains. He and his fellow band members were all incredibly pale, hair flowing long and straight to their waists. A guitar stuck up, then the drums, then the whole band launched straight into their latest release; '_One Warlock Wonder_'.

Almost immediately people filled the space in front of the stage and James leaned across to Laura, winked and said, 'May I have this dance?' Then he swept into the thickening mass of people; they had both been made to go to dancing lessons when they were younger, hating it at the time. Now though they were able to show off a few of their elaborate, and greatly adapted, ballroom steps to the accompanying rock band.

Lily watched James lead Laura into the suddenly swarming crowd and felt oddly piqued. But Caradoc appeared with a twinkle in his eye and bowed, offering her his hand and swept her into the throng. Then she was swinging and twirling in the crowd with everyone else, she stopped worrying about, well, anything and just enjoyed the music.

* * *

><p>Somewhere between the third and fourth song, Caradoc melted away, mouthing, 'Need a drink,' and James appeared, taking her hand and twirling her round as a burst of '<em>Fly my waa-aa-aay!'<em> reached her ears. She had nowhere near the experience Laura had of dancing in Wizarding community, but she just about managed to keep up with him and a look of delighted surprise crossed his face as she did so. Thankfully the song ended before she ran out of steps and James bowed dramatically and turned to steal Dorcas from her partner as Caradoc reappeared, leaving Lily out of breath. Caradoc wanted to join the next dance, but Lily needed a rest after James' exuberant spinning and twirling, so they sat down to watch for a little while.

Sirius and the Townley girl he was going out with were swaying to and fro until the music reached a crescendo and the pace changed suddenly. Then she could all but hold in her giggles as James literally swept Dorcas off her feet and lifted her into the air. Sirius, of course, was not to be outdone, but suddenly left Lizzy and spun Marlene, who was nearby. The look on Lizzy's face was murderous and she stormed away.

Sirius soon disappeared too though and Marlene found her friend Silvia, going in search of drinks. Then a slow guitar struck up and Caradoc dragged her back into the crowd to the opening lines of '_No Matter How Far'. _His arms encircled her and she could smell a woody, citrus smell coming from him. She saw James look over and one eyebrow frowned slightly before he turned away again.

* * *

><p>James could barely hold himself back; clear, emerald green eyes gazed up at him and he was having to physically restrain himself from stooping and putting his lips to hers. He looked up and away before he could do something stupid, feeling the closeness of her body to his.<p>

Then disaster struck; he caught Mary's eyes in the crowd over Lily's head. She gave him a meaningful look and shook her head, her eyes widening when she saw he now had his arm around Lily's waist. He saw her pull out her wand and before anything could get out of hand he faded into the crowd.

He had no idea Mary felt _that _strongly about him and Lily. He shrugged his shoulders; there would be plenty of other chances, wouldn't there? He grabbed Dorcas and spun her away from her partner, who looked more than little annoyed, but wasn't going to stop him.

* * *

><p>Sirius left Marlene and went to find Lizzy, annoyed at how quickly she had just stormed off, but caught Remus' eye before he went and gave him the nod to start the Marauders' additional festivities. James quickly appeared by Remus' side and they pulled out their wands.<p>

They had spent an hour earlier sorting out the right spells and with a simple twitch and the right words, carefully judged to be in time with a crescendo in the music, suddenly the visors of all the suits of armour burst open. Out sprayed hundreds of transfigured bats, streaming across the hall and screams rose above the music. Peter was ready on the other side of the Hall though, and directed his wand upwards, whispering a few more, well-chosen words.

When the bats reached the ceiling, the transfigurations reversed themselves and sparkling drops of fake blood sprayed out from each little creature. They rained down, only to vanish just above the dancers' heads; where a carefully constructed ward had been placed. Remus had come up with the idea of testing their new ward talents to not cover everyone in fake blood, citing that the girls were likely to murder them if they ruined any dresses. Similar to the enchantments used to move food from the kitchens to the House tables; the blood reappeared elsewhere. Anyone in the Slytherin Common Room right now would be getting a nasty shock.

* * *

><p>A little later, as delighted laughter broke out after the shock, James rounded up his Quidditch team, knowing that they needed an early night, despite the festivities. Even Sirius didn't groan too much as James prised him away from where he found Lizzy and quickly made up; they were all feeling the tension of tomorrow's match. It was the first of the season and against their biggest rivals, maybe not in skill, but definitely in terms of Houses.<p>

Lily spent several minutes looking round for James, but couldn't see him and again, felt oddly piqued; he had been so nice to her lately and she had had fun dancing with him. It was little while before she realised that Dorcas and Sirius had gone too. Then it hit her: Quidditch came before everything else.

She felt a little disappointed, wishing now she had managed to have another dance with him and went to get a drink. Caradoc seemed a little boring after James' dancing; he seemed more content just to sway about in circles. She spotted Mary who had somehow got attached to Rosier in the press as she found some butterbeer.

She had screamed and laughed at the bats and blood, wondering like everyone else, if they were a late addition or part of the festivities. From the looks on the teachers' faces they were a late addition and she saw Professor Flitwick look enquiringly at Remus who had raised an eyebrow and shrugged.

As the dancing came to a close, Caradoc walked her up the stairs and kissed her on the cheek by way of good night, before heading to Ravenclaw Tower. She felt as though the evening had somehow missed something. Unsure of what she was trying to remember or think of, she went to bed feeling strangely unsettled.


	5. Chapter 5, Gryffindor vs Slytherin

**Gryffindor vs Slytherin**

* * *

><p>'HILL, MEADOWES, HUNTLY, POTTER, BLACK, BLACKETT AAAND RANSOM!'<p>

Sanderson Thomkins, a Huffepuff Seventh Year, usually known as Sandy, was commentating as seven red figures flashed across the pitch. Typically, James rolled as he went past the Gryffindor stand to a roar of appreciation; taking the lead of the team lap around the pitch before he landed to wait for the Slytherins.

'LOSSARO, COMPTON, THRESHER, BLISHWICK, AVERY, RADGE AAAND BLACK!'

The seven Slytherins dispensed with the introductory fly-by and immediately landed. Ivor Compton the team captain strode across to James and shook hands, firm but not forceful was Compton's grip and James wondered if Compton was going to stick to the rules this time. He had been right; the storm had blown out in the early hours of the morning and now the air was bright, still and sunny.

Then the whistle was blowing and they were off into the air, James intercepted the thrown quaffle before the Slytherins could reach it and was away, a distant voice telling the crowd that Gryffindor had possession.

* * *

><p>The whole school was out to watch the match; Slytherin-Gryffindor was one of the highlights of the year as both teams manoeuvred for possession. Already Remus could see Wilkes in the opposite stand, swearing at the referee; Madam Hooch. Luckily for Wilkes the teacher couldn't hear him from playing height.<p>

'POTTER TO MEADOWES TO- THRESHER INTERCEPTS AND IS AWAY!'

Remus could only groan as Tam Thresher intercepted a slow pass and was shooting in the opposite direction, only to drop the quaffle as Sirius hammered a bludger for his head. Thresher avoided it, and Sarah Huntly caught it, passing it to James who looped Compton and dummied it back to her before sending it Dorcas' way.

'OOOHHH!' the crowd groaned as the three Slytherin Chasers descended on her.

But somehow James suddenly had the Quaffle and he was away, only the Slytherin Keeper, Lossaro to beat and-

'GRYFFINDOR SCORE! THEY TAKE A TEN POINT LEAD!'

In the short celebration Remus was one of the few people other than Sirius and Hannah to see both Slytherin Beaters smash bludgers up at Ransom. Tommy rolled out the way though and Sirius raced after them, to send them down to where Blishwick had taken the quaffle.

Remus had warned James that Compton would try last year's tactics of taking out the Seeker, and Sirius had the situation well under control as Avery only just managed to duck the second bludger that was returned to him.

'SLYTHERIN SCORE!' came the next cry and they were back on even.

Then Ransom seemed to momentarily freeze before plunging for the earth; Remus came to his feet, searching the bottom of the Ravenclaw stand for a flash of gold. Regulus Black followed him into the dive, then there an awful crash as a bludger collided with Black's chest. Both were knocked off course and Black almost spiralled out of control, clearly winded and barely hanging onto his broom.

Sirius, who had hit the bludger, shot past his brother as Tommy pulled out of his dive, shouting, 'Better luck next time, Reg!'

Remus heard it and remembered James saying he was going to take the fight to Slytherin rather than waiting for his players to possibly get injured. But with Sirius occupied with dealing with his brother, Compton and Thresher played an excellent dummy reverse and hooked the quaffle past George Hill.

'SLYTHERIN SCORE! TWENTY-TEN TO SLYTHERIN!'

Remus groaned, but James simply picked up the pace.

* * *

><p>Lily looked down at her watch, the match had been on for an hour now and Gryffindor were leading one hundred and thirty to eighty as James, Dorcas and Sarah pulled off move after move. The Slytherins were good though and every time the quaffle seemed certain to go in, Lossaro or even Compton somehow managed to intercept it.<p>

Suddenly the whole crowd were on their feet as Tommy Ransom dived for the second time that day, the first having been a rather nasty feint.

He was streaking for the Gryffindor goals, rolled first one bludger, ducked the second from Adrian Radge. Regulus Black was gaining on him though and Lily glanced across to see something shimmering near Hill, the Gryffindor Keeper.

Ransom didn't have as fast a broom as Black though and Regulus was gaining as they sped across the pitch, losing height as the dropped towards the goals. At the last minute Black pulled ahead, stretching out in front of Ransom on his slightly faster Oakshot and then _WHAM_.

Ransom pulled up and away and Regulus once again veered off course, holding onto his broom with one hand, the other arm clutched to his chest. Thomkins, the commentator, tried to explain what Lily couldn't see properly.

'MR HILL, YOU CAN'T HANG YOUR WATCH THERE! I THINK MADAM HOOCH WILL BE HAVING WORDS… YES, HERE SHE COMES; PENALTY TO SLYTHERIN FOR GRYFFINDOR'S KEEPER DELIBERATELY DECEIVING THE SEEKER.'

The Gryffindor stands groaned as James arrived to argue with Madam Hooch, a few seconds later he shrugged, clapped Hill on the back and was flying away with a grin on his face despite the penalty.

Compton took it, but George Hill, with his incredible reach glanced the quaffle round the edge of the left ring. Lily turned to Alice and Frank beside her and asked, 'What happened? I couldn't see…'

Frank grinned rather bloodthirstily and replied, 'Hill hung his watch off the ring at the start of the match; no one really noticed until Tommy dived for it. Of course, Tommy knew from there he'd never beat Black's Nimbus, but he didn't want to. Black saw the glitter off the watch and probably assumed it was the snitch; at that speed you can't see properly and when he stuck his hand out for it, all he hit was the post. Which is what Tommy wanted.'

Lily gasped at the rather underhand tactics and turned just in time to see Dorcas take a bludger in the kidneys. Maybe it wasn't so bad after all.

* * *

><p>An hour later the match was heating up as the snitch was nowhere to be seen and the competition between Chasers and Beaters was becoming a little more than heated.<p>

James ducked a bludger that whistled past his ear and dropped several feet to avoid Blishwick, knowing Sarah was three feet down on his left he passed the quaffle behind his back and dropped even lower. Sarah went over the top of him as he veered left, the quaffle landing in his hands once more as Thresher went after Sarah. He broke away upwards and rolled to avoid another bludger, flicking the quaffle out towards Dorcas who caught and sent it straight on to Sarah.

Sirius flashed past him and suddenly Lossaro had to duck as both bludgers came for him, the quaffle landed once more in his hands and James punched it through the hoops.

'GRYFFINDOR TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY: SLYTHERIN ONE HUNDRED AND NINETY!' Thomkins roared as James did small, celebratory loop. Everyone was getting tired and the Slytherins were taking advantage to rebuild their score; Tommy still hadn't seen the snitch.

James returned to the centre of the pitch and Sarah seized the quaffle from Compton, haring off up the pitch and _WHAM_.

James had to hang on to his broom as he rolled off course and the whistle blew, 'Sorry, Potter, didn't see you there…' Avery drawled, hefting his Beater's bat once more. James' upper arm was numb and Dorcas took the penalty, but she was shaking so hard with anger that she missed. James tried to massage feeling back into his arm but a bludger appeared and he had to duck again.

* * *

><p>Suddenly the score was Gryffindor; two hundred and fifty, Slytherin; two hundred and thirty. James was obviously hurt and he kept dropping catches he should have made. George Hill was suffering too from multiple bludgers to his chest and stomach, but was playing on gamely, hunched against the pain.<p>

Sirius was beginning to lose his temper as well; Compton had now just 'accidently' just punched Sarah in the face, claiming he was going for the quaffle. Sirius was trying to keep an eye on Hannah as well, who Avery and Radge seemed to be targeting currently; she was having trouble defending herself as both bludgers came after her. Then Radge leant forward and grabbed her broom, forcing her into a roll as yet another bludger careered towards her; Sirius saw red.

He shot forward as the next bludger came in, dropped a foot and swung.

The bat swung just too early to clip the bludger that flew past Hannah and Sirius ducked as he deliberately missed; he was right on target.

'ARGHH!' Radge's nose burst in a spray of red droplets.

The whistle went, but Sirius didn't care; Radge got what he deserved. James scored a penalty, awarded for Radge's blagging and Hill saved Compton's for Sirius' deliberate swing at Radge.

Slytherin retaliated immediately; Compton grabbed Dorcas' head instead of the quaffle as he went past her and slammed it into her broom handle.

* * *

><p>Lily was screaming.<p>

The play was getting worse by the second; George Hill, instead of attempting to even save the shot, grabbed Compton and bodily swung him into the goalpole. Dorcas was wobbling on her broom and Sirius had a black eye where Avery had punched him.

Then Regulus Black was bent over his broomstick, as flat as he could be; heading for the bottom of the Gryffindor stand. Lily couldn't even see where Tommy Ransom was; Slytherin were going to win.

Then something dropped past her, not feet away from the edge of the stand. It didn't fly; it was quite literally dropping like a meteor: Tommy had his broom vertical.

Lily leant over the front of the railings as everyone stood up to try and see.

Tommy was pulling up, gold glittering in his hand when he clipped the Hufflepuff stand. He cartwheeled off his broom as Regulus Black pulled away, landing, bouncing and rolling like a rag doll.

The roars of victory suddenly turned to gasps and screams of horror.

Then James landed beside where the boy lay crumpled and, amazingly, Tommy groggily sat up, still clutching the snitch. James helped him unsteadily to his feet and the crowd roared appreciation.

'GRYFFINDOR WIN! FOUR HUNDRED AND TEN TO TWO HUNDRED AND THIRTY!' Thomkins yelled into the microphone, 'NO ONE EXPECTED THAT ENDING, RANSOM NEARLY KILLS HIMSELF TO TAKE THE WIN FOR GRYFFINDOR!'

* * *

><p>James was beside himself; they had just beaten Slytherin and now he was hugging Sirius and checking Dorcas was alright, as George swamped Tommy in a huge bear hug.<p>

'Thank Merlin for that!' George rasped hoarsely, still winded from his last collision, 'I couldn't take any more of those sodding bludgers! I was just about to ask for time out.'

Tommy was shaken up and a little disorientated, but he grinned cheerfully and completely failed to pick up little Hannah Blackett and spin her round. They ended up in a sweaty heap as Remus appeared and punched James on the arm, 'You won!' he shouted cheerfully as James yelled in pain.

'You bastard! I think it's fractured!' he howled.

Remus looked a little abashed but grabbed Sirius in a manly hug, saying, 'I told you not to lose your temper, you idiot!'

'Yeah, but Radge will know to keep his bloody distance next time!' Sirius growled as the Slytherin team landed nearby; Radge's robes covered in blood.

'I think it's time for a party!' James called over the throng of arriving Gryffindors, 'Bring your little girlfriend, Padfoot!'

* * *

><p>'To Tommy! Who sadly can't be with us!' James called to the Common Room, raising a bottle of butterbeer.<p>

'Tommy!' almost eighty voices shouted back.

Lily couldn't help but smile and wonder. Tommy had been taken to the Hospital Wing after he passed out before he made it to the changing room, and Madam Pomfrey had diagnosed severe concussion.

James, Sarah, Dorcas, George and Sirius had all been patched up and sent on their way, though Sirius' brother was apparently staying in the hospital wing too; broken ribs.

Lily sank into a sofa beside Laura and laughed as Sirius started juggling butterbeer bottles behind his back. James appeared out of the crowd, glowing from a hot shower and his hair still damp, 'Alright, Lily!' he called, clasping three bottles of butterbeer in one hand and swigging from a fourth in the other, 'Here, catch!'

Luckily Laura caught both the bottles that flew out of James' hand, because Lily's catching wasn't great at the best of times. James was left holding one bottle between third and fourth fingers. Then he bounced down on the couch beside them, 'How's it going, ladies?'

'Congratulations!' Lily said brightly, smiling at him.

Laura frowned though and said, 'Where'd you get all the food and stuff from?'

James grinned devilishly and tapped his nose, 'If I told you that then I'd have to kill you.'

Luckily Remus arrived just before Laura could pursue her line of questioning. Laura turned to him, leaving James and Lily to talk.

'So, I was just wondering…' James began, hesitating abruptly as something flickered in Lily's eyes.

'Yes?' she answered suspiciously and suddenly James knew he was making a mistake; he was too full of excitement and glory after the match. He doubted his abrupt question and changed tack.

'Did you finish Jenson's essay?' he recovered brightly.

* * *

><p>Laura turned away to talk to Remus and Lily's heart suddenly fluttered; she had kind of been waiting to see James all day. She turned to face him and smelt the soap he had used in the shower; his hair was still damp and hanging over his ears, strangely un-windswept after the match.<p>

He looked oddly serious suddenly and the grin disappeared; Lily had the strangest feeling he was going to-

'So, I was wondering…'

'Yes,' Lily answered hopefully, feeling butterflies tingle around her navel.

Something in his shining eyes died and he finished with something Lily hadn't been expecting.


	6. Chapter 6, Tumbling Thoughts

**Tumbling Thoughts**

* * *

><p>Lily went to bed with confusion pounding in her head.<p>

It had been a month since James Potter had shown a side that Lily had never thought existed. It had forced her to see him in a completely different light; Dorcas had been right, Lily had always seen him as the boy who had pretended to push her off a tower during their first Astronomy lesson at Hogwarts.

Now though he was, well… mature. Grown-up? None of the words she could think of really fitted him.

Lily tried to look at him dispassionately; he was tall, he was athletic, he had an easy-going smile and eyes that shone with interest, whatever he turned them on. He was intelligent, he was really very talented at Transfiguration; he had been helped her again earlier in the week with explaining the more complicated aspects of Yasov's Dichotomy, which was McGonagall said was "vital for any human transfiguration" and essential for Animagus transformations.

He was funny, but could be over the top. He seemed to have a wild streak that he was constantly trying to control. But when he had sat down beside her on the sofa, she had honestly thought he was going to ask her to go to Hogsmeade with him and from the nervous tingling in her tummy she wasn't sure what her answer would have been. She had only remembered that she was going with Caradoc after he asked her about her essay.

She reached her dorm and began looking for her pyjamas, her mind full of a hundred confusing thoughts.

Suddenly Mary burst in, 'Oh! There you are Lily, I've been looking for you everywhere!'

Lily, who was in a rather solemn mood now, just asked, 'Why?'

Oddly, Mary blushed, 'Um… I thought, um, look, Lily; we need to have a talk.'

Lily wasn't sure what to say to that, and scanned her memory to see if she might have upset Mary in some way recently. She couldn't think of anything, 'Alright then,' she answered cautiously, 'What about?'

'Um… Potter.'

'Why do you want to talk about Potter?'' Lily asked, suspicion creeping into her voice as she sat down on her bed and slipped off her shoes.

'Because I think he's trying to… to… well, use you.'

Lily stared at her friend; this was completely absurd, 'How?' she asked, raising an eyebrow.

'Well, look Lily; He was acting like an arse on the train here at the start of term. Then suddenly there's this big 'Werewolf Incident' and he's suddenly everyone's hero; even yours now.' Mary sounded very accusing.

'"Werewolf Incident"?' Lily asked, disbelief etched on her face at the tone with which Mary said the words.

'Look; isn't it suspicious that Snape and the Marauders all happen to be in the Forbidden Forest the night of the full moon? I mean, what are the chances; why would Snape be out there, and the Marauders are always saying there are werewolves in the Forest, so they would know not to go out then. I've heard, well,' Mary looked uncomfortable, standing in the middle of the room in her oversized red jumper, 'people are saying that they lured Snape down there to curse him. You seem to have forgotten that only a month or so ago you hated his guts. People don't just change, Lily.'

Lily wasn't sure what to say, but Mary was her best friend and she was trying to warn her so she decided on exactly what she had been thinking. She told her about how James saving Snape, someone he hated, had made Lily realise that Dorcas and Laura were right; James Potter wasn't a little boy anymore and Lily wasn't an eleven year-old girl.

'He almost _died_, Mary. I can't think of anything else to say. I felt awful that all I've ever done has been to shout at him and tell what a coward and idiot he is. I don't know why you don't believe Professor Dumbledore and their story; why would they lie? If you want to listen to rubbish spouted by Third Years, then you that's your choice, but I don't want to hear it. He deserves a chance, and I actually quite like him.'

Mary looked sceptical though and abruptly changed her tack, 'Just because he's been doing your Transfiguration essays for you, it doesn't mean he's suddenly wonderful. You do realise that every move that Gryffindor pulled off today was under Potter's orders; _every _move. That includes Sirius breaking his brother's ribs, Hill slamming Compton, Sirius breaking Radge's nose and Tommy almost killing himself with that catch. Just to win a Quidditch match; he's _crazy_ in my opinion, Lily. Don't go near him.'

'He's not doing my Transfiguration essays!' Lily spat, angry and hurt at Mary's accusations, 'And you know that he wouldn't order anything like that! Besides, the Slytherin's started it!'

Mary's eyes narrowed, 'You're so blind, Lily. Tommy and Sirius ganged up on Regulus well before the Slytherins could do anything. He's not a hero, Lily, he's vicious and cruel.'

Lily had seen the other side though; she'd watched the Gryffindor team pull off seamless moves as though they were reading each other's minds. Only an extraordinary level of inspired dedication and talent could mould a team so quickly and Lily had felt a little in awe of what James had done with a team that was half new. They had easily kept ahead of the veteran Slytherin team.

Mary's words touched something in her though, maybe because if what she thought; if James had really inspired that level of discipline… Then Mary was right; _every_ move had been done under James' orders and that was slightly frightening. It showed James could be just as brutal as the Slytherins he played against, even if he hadn't been directly involved; keeping out of the play.

Then the door opened again and Dorcas wobbled in on her high heels, 'I'm absolutely shattered!' she announced and collapsed on her bed. Then she realised the tension between the two other girls, standing facing each other.

'Are you two alright?'

Mary had to have the last word though, 'He's an arrogant bastard, Lily, and he'll do to you what he did to Sophie Carson if you let him.'

She threw Lily one last, wild look and marched out of the dorm.

Another thought struck Lily though; Dorcas had been physically attacked by Compton, Sarah Huntly had actually been punched. Did that make it alright for Potter to call his orders for Black and Hill to go after the Slytherins in the same measures? She wasn't sure what to think; only that at the time, when Dorcas was having her forehead slammed against her broomstick she had wanted to see Compton hurt.

Did that make her as bad as James Potter? She wasn't sure about herself anymore.

* * *

><p>Dorcas lay quietly, exhausted but waiting for the inevitable question from Lily. She had heard what was being said before she came in; it had been building for a few weeks between Lily and Mary. The Quidditch Match had merely brought it out into the open.<p>

Lily was spending more time with James, and Mary was spending more and more time away from Gryffindor Tower.

Finally the whisper in the darkness came, 'Dorcas?'

Laura and Alice were asleep, Mary still hadn't come back. Dorcas rolled over and said softly, 'Yes, Lily?'

'Did James order the boys to hurt the Slytherins today?'

Dorcas sighed, despite herself, 'Lily, it's Quidditch; regardless of what people say, it is a violent sport. People are always going to get hurt and people are always going to try and bend the rules; that's why there are so many.'

'But did James tell them to hurt the Slytherins?' came Lily's insistent reply.

* * *

><p>There was a long pause from Dorcas and Lily couldn't help but worry.<p>

'Not directly; he told us to play with everything we had and in Sirius and Hannah's case that meant hitting Bludgers as hard as they could. You know what Sirius can be like; he's not always the calmest of people, no matter how hard he tries to pretend he doesn't care. And Hill and Tommy? They're boys; they're competitive, that's why they're on the team. Of course things are going to get out of hand, you ought to see a professional match at some point; far worse things happen.'

Lily lay quietly, thinking about what Dorcas had just said.

'Lily?'

'Yes?'

'I don't know how well you know James, but you've been spending a lot of time with him lately. I just want you to make sure you know: he's not perfect. No one is.'

* * *

><p>Sirius was lounging on the sofas in the Common Room with the remainder of the Quidditch Team and a few others. Tommy was still in the Hospital Wing; Hannah and Dorcas had gone to bed. Lizzy, having gained access to the Gryffindor Common Room was draped comfortably over his chest.<p>

It had been a good day, he thought; beating four kinds of hell out of the Slytherins had been incredibly satisfying. It took all his anger and frustrated energy out of him. There was nothing more satisfying than slamming a bludger towards someone, and knowing it was exactly on target.

James had been right to make the call for harder playing measures and the other two teams had seen what Gryffindor could do. They were going to play Hufflepuff next, and they would be worrying about what might happen to them. It wasn't that the Gryffindor team was violent; it was the psychology of what _could_ happen. The Hufflepuff Seeker would probably think twice before following Ransom into one of his dives, and that kind of split second advantage could win Gryffindor the cup.

He laid his hand on Lizzy's thigh where she was pressed up against him on the sofa and laughed as James described the disbelief on Compton's face when he saw Gryffindor had won. Sarah Huntly was giggling with a friend, who was batting her eyelashes at George Hill. The tall Fourth Year grinned at them and winced as his torn stomach muscles moved slightly.

'Hey, babe, how about we make ourselves scarce? I'll walk you back.'

Lizzy raised her head and looked up into his grey eyes, 'Alright.'

He wondered if she knew he was beginning to feel less and less excitement each time they met. Their kisses were not as long and passionate any more. Sirius had never been able to help it; a switch just flicked off in his mind. He would be enjoying the excitement, the beautiful unknown of a relationship and then a switch would suddenly flick in his mind. Then, whichever girl it was, she was simply just a girl; no matter how beautiful, or clever or funny, they just failed to affect him at all.

He sometimes hated it, he sometimes loved it, but that switch had just been flicked and he wondered how long he could go through the motions before he got bored and angry, or she realised.

* * *

><p>James sat up late into the night, wondering if he had been a fool to even think about asking Lily out again, or if he had done the right thing by not asking. He had felt so bloody happy though; the excitement, the exhilaration of winning would have made that day the best of his life.<p>

Patience, he thought though. He almost ached with his want to hold her. When he had watched her leave the Common Room earlier he had stared after her, his stomach feeling empty and hollow with missed opportunity.

Suddenly he knew he wasn't going to sleep; he gave up listening to Peter's snores and Remus' deep, even breathing. Sirius hadn't come back from seeing Lizzy off. He slipped out of bed, pulled on a pair of jeans over his boxers and a t-shirt, took his invisibility cloak and went to wander the deserted castle. Thoughts of sweeping red-hair, pale skin and emerald eyes skipping through his mind.

Barefoot and translucent he padded down to the Common Room, deciding he would head to the Prefect's Bathroom and see if warm water might be able to relax his mind.


	7. Chapter 7, The Shrieking Shack

**The Shrieking Shack**

* * *

><p>The Marauders walked past the line of people waiting to sign out for Hogsmeade, straight to where the Prefect on duty was signing people out.<p>

'Alright, Frank?' James said with the usual, casual smile of easy confidence and barely a glance and the long line.

Frank Longbottom looked at them over the top of the list and clipboard in his hands, 'There's a queue, Potter.'

A pained look crossed James' face, 'Awh, come on, Frank; we just put Gryffindor in the lead for the Quidditch Cup,' he spotted Lily out of the corner of his eye, took two paces and grabbed her in a sort of half-hug, while pulling her to the front, 'Besides, Frank, you wouldn't want to keep your girlfriend's friends waiting would you?'

Frank raised an eyebrow and shook his head, sighing, 'Alright, Potter, now bugger off before I decide to change my mind.'

He signed out the Marauders, Lily and Dorcas who had been dragged in too. Then they were all in the chilly sunshine, squinting slightly after the dull of the Entrance Hall and castle corridors. James's arm was still around Lily's shoulders.

* * *

><p>Lily's immediate thought on seeing James and his friends saunter forward to the front of the queue was fairly rude; something along the lines of <em>arrogant prick<em>, a vestige from a few months before. Suddenly he turned round though, caught her eye, smiled and put an arm round her shoulders, pulling her forward; despite her protestations that she had to wait.

Then, somehow they were out in the chilly sunshine of the grounds, no longer waiting in the shadowy Entrance Hall.

'James, I can't!' Lily stumbled down the steps, pushing his arm off her shoulders.

He turned in confusion, the rest of them halting in their tracks at the interruption, 'Why? What's up?'

Something akin to fear blossomed in Lily's stomach and suddenly she knew how this day would end; James had become somewhat more than just a friend in the past few weeks. He was still James Potter though, and somewhere deep inside him was something she had been unwilling to face for years.

'I can't come with you,' she stated.

James' forehead creased over the grin he was now wearing, 'Why ever not?'

'I…' she sighed and took a deep breath, ready for the plunge, 'I promised I'd go with Caradoc Dearborn. Dorcas was just waiting for Marlene and Laura…'

James' creases disappeared and the grin remained, but suddenly there was a void between them. A silence full of everything that hadn't been said.

There was no falter or slip, the grin merely became slightly puzzled and he said, 'Alright,' nodding his head as if to say _Fair enough_ and walked away. The others followed, including Dorcas who seemed to have been caught up in an engrossing conversation with Remus.

* * *

><p>Peter stumbled on a loose rock, trying to keep up with the others long, lazy, sweeping strides, 'So, what's going to happen now?' he asked.<p>

James didn't seem to hear him, hands buried in his pockets.

'Prongs?'

'Leave it,' Sirius growled at him, increasing his stride slightly until he was shoulder to shoulder with James, leaving Peter a few feet behind them.

Peter chewed his lip and looked worriedly from one to the other, but decided to keep quiet; it looked like it was going to be one of those days…

Remus suddenly looked up from his conversation with Dorcas, noticing the silence between the rest.

Peter took it as an opportunity, 'So… Zonko's, Wiseacre's, Honeydukes and The Three Broomsticks?'

'I need a new quill,' Remus replied.

'Scrivenshaft's?'

'Yeah.'

* * *

><p>Lily watched the Marauders and her friend disappear around a bend in the track, feeling slightly as though she had let someone down; but she wasn't sure who. She was still staring down towards the Forest when a hand tapped her shoulder.<p>

'Lily? You alright?'

It was Caradoc; hair a little ruffled, but blue eyes shining in anticipation of the day ahead.

Lily started, but blew out a tense breath, 'Sorry, I was a bit out of it for a moment.'

'No worries,' he smiled easily, 'Shall we head off? I've got an idea for later…'

Lily looked at him quizzically, but between the excitably, cheeky grin and twinkling eyes he wasn't giving anything away. They walked away down the lawns to the school gates.

* * *

><p>Severus watched the crowds of Hogwarts students flowing down across the lawns towards Hogsmeade, chattering and laughing gaily despite the cold. He didn't care much for the little town beyond the gates; there wasn't anything there to interest him. He didn't have money for sweets, and at the age of seventeen he didn't really care for biting teacups. Something caught the corner of eye and suddenly he focused on the unmistakable, brilliant red hair belonging to Lily Evans; obvious even from this distance.<p>

There was someone beside her, someone with short, blonde hair; someone who wasn't one of her usual girl friends. Severus turned and gathered up the books he had been using; he had a sudden urge to be in Hogsmeade today.

* * *

><p>'So what happened with Lizzy, Padfoot?' Remus asked sociably.<p>

'The usual; tears, tantrums,' he sneered suddenly, 'asked if I was seeing someone else.'

Dorcas looked up in shock, 'What happened?'

'Padfoot dumped Lizzy last night,' James replied and Dorcas thought she heard a vicious twist of enjoyment in the way he said it.

'Why?' she asked, curious.

'Got bored,' came the disinterested reply from the stony faced boy.

She could have been asking him why he had stopped reading a textbook, for all the tone of voice and expression he supplied. She could see why the Marauders didn't have many friends; they never seemed to want to talk, that didn't stop them being the most popular people in the school though.

'That's not a very good reason…'

A quirky grin crossed Black's face, 'Hey, it's not like I told her that; I said she wasn't really my type.'

Dorcas was incredulous, 'You've been going out for what? A month? And you told her she wasn't your type?'

'Yeah, and…?' he replied, looking down at her as though she was something strange he spotted in a Care of Magical Creatures class.

Remus nudged her slightly and whispered, 'Leave it,' before changing the conversation, 'What do you reckon? I'd say Zonko's, then Scrivenshafts, then over to the Three Broomsticks. That way we can pick up the good stuff before other people get there, then after lunch we can go to Wiseacre's and you can go with the girls to Gladrags. Meet up in Honeydukes, then have a pint in the Hog before heading home.'

* * *

><p>'What do you know about the Shrieking Shack?' Caradoc asked as they passed through the school gates.<p>

'Not much,' Lily admitted, wondering what he was getting at, 'It's supposed to be the most haunted building in Britain or something…'

'Yup, anything else?'

'Not really… no one can get in, either, apparently even the Marauders tried and couldn't find a way in.'

He looked across at her quizzically, 'Who told you that?'

She frowned, she wasn't actually sure, 'I don't know… Remus might have mentioned it or something.'

'Really?' he asked, eyeing her with an odd expression.

'Oh, I don't know,' she said, 'Why do you want to know anyway?'

'Well, I've got a half-brother, Ivor. We were talking over the summer and I asked if he knew anything about the Shack and if anyone had ever been inside. He's eight years older than us, and he said he never been to see it while he was at school; said it was just a ruin and no one had lived there in years.'

'Because it's haunted, right?'

'Nope.'

'What?' Lily stared at him in confusion.

'Yeah, said no one had lived there because it was all the way up on the hill.'

'But if you ask the villagers…'

'They'll say you can hear screams sometimes at night.'

Lily couldn't work out what he was getting at, 'What are you trying to say?'

'Benjy and I asked Ambrosius, the chap who owns Honeydukes, about it. He said the screams only started a few years ago.'

'Why?' Lily asked, suddenly intrigued.

'No one seems to know.' Caradoc replied with a grin, 'Besides, you can get in; Benjy said he found a way in last time he in Hogsmeade. Want to have a look?'

There was pure challenge written across his face.

Lily bit her lip; no boy was going to get the better of her, 'Yes.'

'Alright then, let's go.'

'Now?'

* * *

><p>Remus could almost feel something among the trees, watching them as they walked down the path to Hogsmeade. He knew it wasn't a threat, he didn't know how he knew that, he just knew; he supposed it was something of the animal in him. Whatever it was it well camouflaged, and Remus was having trouble spotting it.<p>

He didn't say anything, just carried on the conversation, mentioning that he'd like to go to Tomes and then James saw it. He followed James' transfixed gaze and saw the rear legs of something large just disappear into the shadowy trees.

'Centaur,' muttered Sirius, 'Haven't seen one for a while.'

'A Centaur!' Dorcas cried, disbelieving.

'Yup,' Sirius responded with a shrug. Remus grinned; Sirius was good at stating the amazing with a complete lack of enthusiasm, it was as though he never got surprised. His mate had 'detached' down to the letter; whether he lounging back in his chair in a lesson, or lazing on a sofa with his latest girlfriend; you couldn't pin Sirius Black down.

He remembered the first time they had met one; Fifth Year, wandering along the edge of the Forest one night and Sirius had simply said, 'Good evening,' as the huge, part horse, part man stepped out of the trees in front of them.

Since then, they'd met them a few times, and were friendly with a youngish one called Carach. Remus always found them a bit intimidating; he'd read somewhere that in Europe there were stories of centaurs hunting werewolves for sport. The centaurs they met were friendly, if a bit taciturn, and they instantly recognised the boys for what they were. Centaurs had far better senses than any human, and they had spotted three Animagi and a Werewolf from several hundred metres.

'We've seen a few about,' Peter added.

'How? And when?' Dorcas asked, stepping back to try and see if the Marauders were lying. Remus grinned inwardly, knowing that they could have made her believe that there were Giants in the Forest if they wanted; they had a way of backing each other's stories up and adding little details that never failed to convince people.

'Oh, you know; wandering about at night does let you see a few things others don't.' James grinned at her.

'If you know what we mean,' Black said with a grin and a lecherous wink.

'Shut up, Padfoot.' Remus said as Peter sniggered.

'We reckon there's about thirty or so; they must have a camp somewhere. They'll come and have a chat sometimes, if we're lucky.'

'You just go into the Forest and "chat" with centaurs?' Dorcas asked, astounded.

'Yeah,' Remus said with a shrug and a nod.

'But aren't there werewolves in there?'

'Only at full moon,' Remus replied darkly.

* * *

><p>As they wandered into Zonko's, Dorcas had a question, 'So this is where you get all your stuff?'<p>

'Some of it,' James replied with a grin, 'A lot of stuff we make ourselves, depending on the situation.'

'Like what?' Dorcas challenged.

'Pete's Catch Coin.' Remus said, leaning past to pick up a packet of Foaming Bubble-Gum, "Guaranteed to make anyone _foaming _mad" it read.

'His what?' she asked.

'Oi, Pete, show her your Coin; we made it for his birthday last year.' James called.

Peter grinned and pulled out a silver coin; it wasn't a Sickle though, Dorcas could see that. He handed it to her and she saw that on one side, there were the four Marauders' heads; while on the other side there was back end of some kind of rodent, with a long tail curving round the edge of the coin.

'Heads and Tails: flick it up in the air,' James said and she did so.

She tried to catch it, but it stopped before it started to fall again and hung there spinning gently in mid-air.

'Now, put your hand out and say, "Drop".'

'Drop.' she said, holding out her hand.

The coin fell into it.

'Pete's not very good at catching, see.' James said, taking the coin from her and handing it back to Peter, who grinned, 'So we thought, what could we do to stop him dropping coins when we try and decide what to do. Moony came up with the idea.'

* * *

><p>The path up to the Shrieking Shack was more grass than track, and the ruined house itself was seemed strangely lifeless. A collection of twisted trees stood where there might once have been an orchard but there was nothing to define anything else about it as having been lived in. The house itself looked battered; rain, snow and hail had made their mark on the old wood and crumbling slate of the roof.<p>

It was quiet too; Lily noticed as they walked up towards it, no birds sang in the trees or the surrounding heather. It was strangely lonely in the bright sunlight; giving off an aura of abandoned loneliness.

'See, it's all boarded up,' Lily pointed at the windows and door where heavy planks had been nailed across.

'Benjy said there was a hole round the back, some of the boards have been pulled away.'

Lily looked warily at the house, but followed Caradoc as he skirted round the wall.

It was true.

There was a hole where two of the huge boards that covered the windows had been torn off; Lily looked at them as Caradoc moved towards the dark chasm of the window. What looked like spell damage blackened one side; what had been the inside.

'Caradoc…?' Lily murmured to the sound of scrabbling feet.

She turned just in time to see Caradoc disappear into the darkness of the house.

'Caradoc! I don't think we shou-'

'Merlin, Lily! You should see this! It looks like someone let a dragon loose in here!'

Lily left the blackened board and peered into the gloom after Caradoc, as her eyes adjusted to the dim light she could see what had been furniture scattered across the room. Only it wasn't furniture anymore; something had quite obviously torn it apart. There were claw marks in the dusty upholstery of what had been the back to large armchair and across the walls.

'I don't think we should be in…'

* * *

><p>James had been round Zonko's too many times to find it that appealing anymore and he didn't need anything from Scrivenshaft's so he nudged Sirius and gestured up the street, 'How about we have a wander, see if we can find anything new? Besides, there's two passageways that come out in Hogsmeade; that book said so and we only know the Honeydukes one, might be a good idea to take a look around.'<p>

'True,' Sirius replied, 'and I still think that grate at the back of the Post Office is suspicious; why would a Post Office need a cellar?'

'We can take a look then,' James replied and they headed out through the door, gesturing to Remus that they would meet them at The Three Broomsticks.

They had barely made it to the back of the Post Office and Sirius was just trying to prise the grate out of the ground when a scuffling noise made James look up.

Snape stumbled as he moved past the end of the alley, alone.

'What's that ratbag doing in Hogsmeade?' James muttered, leaving Sirius and moving back toward the street.

Snape never came to Hogsmeade and now he was hurrying up the street, towards the Shrieking Shack end. Indeed, as James watched, Snape passed the last couple of houses and turned onto the path up to the Shack.

'Padfoot, come here; Snivellus is being suspicious.'

'He's always bloody suspicious; do you think he's still trying to get back at us, or expose Remus?' Sirius said, glaring after him.

'I wouldn't put it past him,' James replied, 'Even if he promised to Dumbledore, I wouldn't trust him as far as I could kick his greasy backside.'

They both started forward after him without any agreement being needed to be made.

They followed him to the point where the path began to twist upwards towards the greying house on the hill, before Sirius' hackles suddenly rose as they both saw him take his wand from his pocket.

'Under here,' James muttered, looking around and pulling out his Father's Invisibility Cloak.

They vanished from sight as Snape advanced further up the path.

* * *

><p>Caradoc had persuaded Lily to clamber inside and they we standing in what must have once been a dining room when the something rustled in the darkness.<p>

'What was that?'

'Ghosts,' Caradoc grinned at her as she slid a little closer to him.

'Shut up,' Lily half growled, half laughed back, 'You said there weren't any.'

'Maybe I was wrong…' he whispered, eyes wide with mirth, 'Want to go upstairs?'

'Not really, we should go,' Lily replied seriously.

'Scared?' Caradoc shot back.

'No!' She hissed, glaring.

'After you then,' he said with an elaborate bow.

Lily set her foot on the stair, noticing that there was a faint trail in the dust that had been disturbed recently. Frowning she started slowly up them, but Caradoc stopped her with a hand on her waist.

She turned, finding him suddenly very close behind her.

'Um, Lily…'

He really was very close. Lily shuffled backwards slightly and spotted something out of the corner of her eye, 'Look out!' she shouted as a ruined chair leg spun across the room at Caradoc.

He only managed to turn before it caught him across the temple, knocking him back against the wall and back down the stairs.

She barely had time to draw breath to scream before there was a _BANG_ and a very male voice shouted, 'We saw that, Snivellus, you slimy little git!'


	8. Chapter 8, The Hog's Mead

**The Hog's Mead**

* * *

><p>Snivellus was flung back against the wall tumbled sideways into the nettles, as James stuffed the Invisibility Cloak out of sight before anyone could see it. Sirius advanced through the undergrowth by the path, wand trained on Snape as he scrabbled among the weeds for his wand.<p>

Then Lily reappeared at the window, a bloody faced Caradoc Dearborn just behind her.

'Potter!' she shouted, 'What the hell do you think you are you doing!'

'Stopping this little prick ruining your date,' Sirius replied for him, 'Sneaking around, following you like it was his slimy business,' he then raised his wand a little higher towards Caradoc who flinched slightly, 'Episkey.'

* * *

><p>Lily looked from James to Sirius to Severus. It was clear that Severus had been in the wrong, but why had the two boys been following him in the first place?<p>

James read her mind before she could open her mouth to ask.

'We were coming out of Zonko's and we saw him slithering along behind you two with his wand out,' he said raising his hands as if to show that he himself wasn't carrying his wand, 'He didn't look too happy about old Caradoc being with you. Sorry he got you by the way, old chap!' he grinned at Caradoc.

It seemed strange to Lily that Caradoc merely grinned back and said, 'Nah, thanks for having our back,' while all three of the boys had, in fact, been following them.

She was about to say that she could defend herself, when the strangest expression crossed Black's face.

* * *

><p>Realisation came in a rush for Sirius.<p>

_James had been pissed off all day; Lily had agreed to go to Hogsmeade with Finn Quigley over him. His friend had been sour since they had heard she had said yes. _

_ It was definitely one of their worse Hogsmeade trips; Remus had dragged them round some awful bookshop and Hagrid had been in The Hog's Head so they couldn't even go in for a cheeky pint. Now it was starting to rain as they sat in The Three Broomsticks; what little conversation there had been had dried up several minutes before._

_ James' face turned even grimmer as Finn and Lily put on their coats and left, holding hands. As the door swung to behind them, Sirius spotted someone on the far side of the street who barely ever came to Hogsmeade._

* * *

><p><em>Sirius was heading down the stairs to catch up with the others as they left for Hogsmeade, taking the shortcut that took him past Ravenclaw Tower and down the stairs on that side of the castle. He jumped down onto the Fourth floor corridor and found himself facing Snape who seemed to have been looking out a window, lurking. Neither of them had said anything and Sirius had gone on his way.<em>

_ It was only that evening he had found out that John Cauldwell, who had asked Lily to go to Hogsmeade with him had fallen down a flight of stairs and ended up in the Hospital Wing. Cauldwell had been in the year above, in Ravenclaw._

'You alright, Black?'

Sirius looked up, 'Yeah, fine.'

'You looked a little pale for a minute then.'

James could never know, come to think of it, Sirius couldn't be sure… There could be any number of reasons that…

He stepped towards Snape, who had found his wand and was vaguely pointing between Sirius and James, 'Get out of here, Snake; if I ever see you following people again…' he tailed off; Lily was just there.

Pure hatred shone out of Snivellus, but he understood what Sirius was saying as he stumbled to his feet.

* * *

><p>A minute later, the tail of Snape's dishevelled robes were vanishing down the hill and Caradoc was helping Lily clamber out of the window again.<p>

'I think I owe you two a drink,' he smiled easily, not noticing the way James' jaw stiffened as he put an arm around Lily's shoulders.

* * *

><p>They found space in The Three Broomsticks with Remus, Dorcas and Peter and wedged themselves in as Caradoc ordered butterbeer and pasties. Remus raised an eyebrow at their appearance with Caradoc and Lily, but didn't say anything before prodding Peter, 'It's your turn.'<p>

'Yeah, but I bought the first ones, it's Dorcas' tur-'

'Really, Wormtail?' James asked disapprovingly, managing a passable impression of the way McGonagall pursed her lips when she was fed up, 'You're saying a girl ought to be buying her own drinks?'

Peter grumbled something about it being their turn, but disappeared towards the bar to order more butterbeer. Sirius promptly took his seat, sliding in beside Dorcas and scanning the room for pretty lifeforms.

'Lily! There you are! We've been looking for you all morning!' Mary had appeared with Marlene and Laura.

Mary took in James and Caradoc, either side of Lily and shot her a loaded look.

Lily squirmed slightly, but smiled back as though nothing was happening.

'Pull up a chair,' Remus invited them and they sat down; Lily moved slightly away from James.

'Oh, congrats on winning yesterday!' Marlene smiled at them and something piqued Sirius interest in her, James noticed. He could tell from the way Sirius shuffled slightly; sitting taller and more imposing. James gave it a week before they be meeting up quietly.

Sirius had the knack of being mysterious and distant most of the time, so that when he suddenly 'opened up' with some unsuspecting girl, she ended up being so surprised she didn't realise they were already kissing. James watched as his best mate fixed his eyes in the girl, interest and enthusiasm positively sparkling in them, rather than the usual blank, emotionless wall.

Sirius had a problem though; the same one as James.

His mate could never connect with any of the girls he dated, so he got bored and soon they simply weren't dating any more. James wondered if he ought to try and speak to Remus again, then quickly decided against it; look where the last argument had left them. Besides, it was clear that Lily had found someone else, and James would have rather remained torturing himself than pick with Caradoc at that moment, knowing that it would set him and Lily back to square one.

* * *

><p>They moved from the Three Broomsticks on to Wiseacre's; leaving the girls to spend time in Gladrags while they looked at important things like brooms and discussed whether Sirius should be getting a new one.<p>

An hour or more later they found the girls in Honeydukes and James drew Lily away from the rest; showing her a new selection of Squeakmints that made you speak with a strangely high pitched voice for a minute or so. He made her laugh with an impression of Professor Flitwick asking Gemma Bowkis a Charms question, Gemma was renowned for her lack of intelligence and genuinely seemed to find it funny.

Then they were back out in the cold and Lily was asking, 'Are you sure we're allowed in the Hog's Head?'

'Yeah, just don't mention you're in Sixth Year; Aberforth doesn't like knowing there's anyone underage in his pub.'

'Shouldn't we not go then?' Lily was obviously worrying.

'It's fine; plus a glass of mead will warm you up before we head back.' James smiled at her.

Lily bit her lip and frowned at him, 'Are you sure?'

Thankfully Remus came to the rescue, 'Lily, it's fine; loads of people go there.'

James could have hugged him then; Lily trusted Remus.

'Alright then,' she said and smiled happily, pulling Caradoc along after her.

* * *

><p>The Hog's Head was quiet and dusty and empty, so much for Remus' "loads of people go there", Lily thought. But there was a fire in the corner and it was warm and with no one but them, it was kind of nice and private. Mary and Laura had gone back to Gladrags, saying they didn't fancy the Hog's Head and privately Lily was quite happy Mary had gone; all she done was throw glaring looks at James whenever he was within two feet of her. Marlene and Dorcas had stayed though, after Black persuaded Marlene to come along.<p>

There wasn't much in the bar though, other than the bar itself, the fireplace an old looking table and four chairs.

Black went straight over and banged on the bar, 'Oi, Aberforth, we're nicking your mead!' he shouted.

A thin, slightly stooped man appeared almost immediately in a doorway behind the bar and peered suspiciously at Black. He stepped forward and it became apparent he was quite tall; only stooping because of the low doorway. A wiry brown, but greying, beard scratched around his chin and he growled, 'What d'you want?'

'Five pints of Braggot and three halves of Cyser, my good man.' James said jovially, feigning a ridiculously posh accent and the man glared at him; obviously he wasn't anyone's "good man".

'Where's all your stuff gone, Ab?' Black asked as he poured the different mead for the boys and girls.

'Some buggers had a fight the other night; had to get Rubeus to come down and sort them out. Bastards trashed the place; nothing reparable, even with sodding magic,' the man grumbled.

Then they perched round the table, or rather, Caradoc, Black, Marlene and Peter were perched round the table on the chairs. Caradoc had persuaded her to sit on his lap, but when she did he complained she had a bony bum. She tried to stand up again, but he held onto her waist and said he'd rather suffer in silence than let a girl stand. Lily just smiled and said, 'Well, then it's your own fault for trying to be gentlemanly then.'

Dorcas didn't have any such compunction and dropped onto Black's knees, warning, 'If you try anything…'

Black just winked at her.

Remus and James seemed quite happy to lean against the bar with their pints of mead.

Lily looked at her half pint on the table warily, 'What is it?' she asked.

'It's honey mead, but it's got apples in as well; it's like a sweet cider, but a lot more warming,' Peter filled in, surprisingly uttering a whole sentence without a stutter.

Lily picked up her glass and sipped cautiously; sweet warmth blossomed in her mouth and slid down her throat. She could taste honey and apples and an almost flowery scent seemed to emanate from her glass, she sniffed appreciatively.

'They put heather flowers in it sometimes; gives it depth of flavour,' Peter added knowledgeably, Lily tried not to stare at him, it was like he was suddenly a completely different person.

'Oh, it's really good!' Marlene had taken her first sip.

'That's why we got you to come,' James replied.

'And that's what she said!' Black exclaimed, causing Lily and Marlene to blush while Remus stifled a smile and Peter laughed.

'And then he said: "Shut up", because she wasn't funny.' James retorted.

Dorcas and Remus laughed at that, Black just raised an eyebrow though.

'Did you see the headlines this morning?' Remus asked abruptly.

'No, why?' Marlene replied.

'That Voldemort guy is calling for registration of all magical blood types; says it should be a public right for employers to know who they are dealing with.'

'Why would that matter?' Lily asked.

'Prejudice.' Black said darkly, 'There are people out there who would refuse to employ Muggle-borns or part Veela, or werewolves or any of the other blood types that some people consider only "part human". Anything that could be considered dangerous.'

'Veela aren't dangerous though, are they?' Marlene asked.

'They are when they get angry; you don't cross them.' Black replied.

'Ok, so Veela can be dangerous, and werewolves are well… werewolves; what have Muggle-borns got to do with them?' Lily asked, missing the slight flicker in Remus' eyes.

'It's all blood status to some pure-bloods: anyone who can't trace their magical blood back to the beginning of time or Merlin or whatever, isn't as good as them. It's simply to make them feel better about themselves.'

'But you guys are all pure-bloods and you're not like that.' Lily said, suddenly realising she was the only Muggle-born in the room.

'Half-blood,' Remus admitted, 'Mum's a Muggle.'

'Oh, yeah, how is she?' Lily asked with concern; Remus had been home once to see her since he had been back at school.

'Same as always,' he replied, looking down at his feet.

'The point is though,' James began, 'he's highlighting the problem further, not bringing about a solution. It's only going to point to those that are different and make the stand out; people are scared of what's different.'

'Like what?' Caradoc challenged, finally adding something to the conversation.

'Werewolves,' James stated, 'They're not bad people, they just can't control themselves once a month; does that make them any worse than you or I when we get angry and do things we don't mean to. Is it any worse than a child managing accidental magic? At least we know when they are going to be dangerous and can do something about it, how do you control a child having a magical tantrum?'

'And when was the last time you met a werewolf?' Caradoc asked, disagreement written across his face.

'A couple of years ago, and he was a better person than most.'


	9. Chapter 9, Doubt

**Doubt**

* * *

><p>Somehow they had fallen behind the others as they made their way back up the path to the school. It was getting dark, the sun was setting behind the hills and the larger mountains like Schiehallion and Ben Nevis over on the west coast were throwing grey shadows across the sky, in which the first stars of the evening nestled. Lily stopped to watch the sky turn pink, then orange, then gold as the sparse clouds picked up the remaining light.<p>

She felt Caradoc slow and stop beside her, their breath rising in steamy clouds as the day's warmth left the glen. He wrapped his arm around her waist and she let herself be drawn a little closer. She realised her heart was beating faster than the meandering trail back from the village could ever make it.

She looked after the others. Dorcas was silhouetted between the wiry shape of Remus and the stockier shadow that was Peter. Black was walking a little behind them, strangely close to Marlene.

She felt Caradoc slowly turn towards her.

James was walking behind the rest and was visible for a moment as he stepped out of the shadow of the trees and onto the school lawns. His head was bowed, his hands were thrust deep into his pockets and he walked with the trudging step of a heavily burdened man. Lily wasn't sure if it was her imagination or not, but for a second she thought he looked back towards her, eyes glowing in the final light of the day. Then the sun dropped below the hills and he was just another grey shape in the twilight.

Caradoc's hand found her neck and his thumb brushed down her cheek, 'Lily-'

His hand was shaking ever so slightly. She wasn't sure what to do. He was leaning towards her.

* * *

><p>James looked back once as the two figures grew closer and the inevitable drew in.<p>

Suddenly his mind seemed clear.

There were better things in life than moping around and waiting. He had tried and she had made her choice.

It wouldn't have worked anyway now that he thought about it.

He was a rule breaker. She had never broken a rule in her life.

He was a sports fanatic. She preferred the library.

He had three very close friends. She knew just about everyone in the school.

She came to school to learn her lessons. He came to school to discover everything else he could.

She was from a working class Muggle family in Surrey. He came from one of the richest Wizarding families in Britain.

He shook his head. It was best to let some dreams fade and die, after all, dreams weren't real; they were just… dreams.

* * *

><p>Lily turned away before she knew what she was doing and the words came unbidden to her lips, 'I can't.'<p>

Caradoc reared back, 'What?'

She was lost for words; she didn't know why she had just done that. Already thoughts were flooding her mind.

_He's wonderful. Now you've really messed it up. You've had such a nice time too. He's always been friends with you. What have you done?_

She managed to dredge something up from the back of her mind.

'Look, I'm really sorry, Caradoc,' she said, taking a step back, 'I really am, but I just want to be friends.'

It sounded awful. It sounded horribly cliché. It sounded downright cowardly.

A twisted smile worked its way up and onto Caradoc's face, 'Fine then, that's fine. Let's get up to the castle.'

* * *

><p>Sirius walked stiffly beside Marlene, aware that James was trudging behind, but also aware that James needed to come to his own conclusions as to what to do. Marlene glanced back at Caradoc and Lily but he distracted her with an offhand comment about the centaur they had seen that morning.<p>

Then James wasn't walking behind them anymore.

Neither Dorcas or Marlene noticed, but all three of the remaining Marauders picked out the ever so faint beat of running hooves across the darkened lawn. Peter looked unsure as to whether to wait, but Sirius clapped a hand on the smaller boy's shoulder, 'Stop lagging behind Pete, or we'll get locked out.'

They just kept walking and hoping that James hadn't gone to bollocks the whole thing up, yet part of Sirius wished he had. In his eyes there was no finer person than James Potter and if he wanted Lily, then that was what he should get. Preferably without the hassle of having to deal with idiots like Caradoc Dearborn who were just out for a snog and a grope, or more if they could get it.

They reached steps and the castle; signed back in with a Hufflepuff Prefect and headed up to Gryffindor Tower once they had sent Marlene off to Ravenclaw. Sirius went straight up to their dorm, chucked his jacket on a bed, grabbed his chess set, challenged Remus and went down to the Common Room to wait.

* * *

><p>The rest of the walk was slow and awkward. Neither of them said anything and Caradoc merely muttered, 'Bye,' when they reached the Entrance Hall.<p>

Disappointment was etched on his face as he disappeared towards Ravenclaw Tower.

Lily was left standing alone, with a twisting worm of doubt in her stomach. Sure in the knowledge that she had just ruined her only chance at a relationship this year. There was an odd clattering on the steps behind her and then James walked through the huge doors, adjusting his jacket. He signed back in with Lucy Raeburn who ticked his name off the list and closed the doors.

Nervousness tingled in her stomach; that odd mix of fear and exhausted patience that comes just before an exam. He started towards where she stood at the bottom of the steps, his face oddly pale in the light of the candles that were pushing back the shadows. A suddenly, without any kind of surprise that what Mary had said was true; she had been blind, she had been so blinded by the revelation that James Potter was a decent, mature boy, that she hadn't realised.

She hadn't realised that he had become more than a friend. It had taken Caradoc Dearborn to make her understand.

He was getting closer by the second. She searched desperately for something to say. It was obvious as well; he hadn't just been asking her out for years, maybe he did like her. She opened to her mouth to speak.

But he was gone.

He stepped past her and bounded up the stairs. It was as though she was invisible.

Lily would never be able to work out if supper that evening was slightly awkward or she just thought it was. She had finally admitted to herself that she liked James Potter, not just as a friend, but more.

* * *

><p>The Marauders were sitting next to the girls on the Gryffindor table as usual, but there was no conversation between the two groups. It was as though the Marauders had vanished into a world of their own. They were laughing and talking but it was clear from the way Remus and James were turned away from the girls that it was merely out of tradition they were sitting next to them. As Lily joined the girls, a little late from writing a letter to her Mum, the conversation in both groups dried up.<p>

Black eyed her for a moment, before she caught him looking and sensed that he was somehow judging her before he went back to his mountain of mashed potatoes and stew. Dorcas too, looked up at her, but expectantly. In fact, out of all the Gryffindors in her year, James was the only one who didn't at least glance at her. Instead, she heard him say to Remus, 'I see the Arrows won this afternoon.'

Mary was the first to speak to her though, 'So? How's Caradoc?'

Lily immediately flushed with embarrassment at what had happened.

* * *

><p>That evening was the strangest of Lily's life; everything was so slightly awkward, yet desperately calm. How was she supposed to act around him? Did she dare go and sit with him? Try and talk to him.<p>

She was sat in the Common Room, attempting to start he Potions essay, but her gaze kept drifting away from her notes on the right proportions of horned toad liver to wormwood that went in a Restorative Draught. James was playing Exploding Snap with Remus and Peter, only they were playing an alternative; counting the cards as they went resulting in the game being louder and there being more explosions. Apparently Sirius was in the library or something.

She was had just summed up the courage to put aside her essay for another night and go and ask if she could join them when the Portrait Hole opened and Black fell through, stumbling to his knees. Blood was streaming down his robes from a terrible gash between his left ear and his shoulder. Lily was on her feet in an instant, essay forgotten, but Remus was the first to him, actually sliding to a halt beside his friend as he began to pitch forward.

James joined them and between they helped him to his feet. Someone fainted as they half dragged him to the boys' staircase, and she heard James hiss, 'What the _fuck_ happened?'

Frank Longbottom reached them saying something about the Hospital Wing, as Lily made her way over; Black's t-shirt was soaked almost to the waist.

'Seriously, guys, you need to take him to the Hospital Wing!' Frank said, more urgently.

'He'll be _fine_!' Remus snarled at the older boy as James and Peter dragged Sirius up the stairs and out of sight.

Frank actually flinched backwards as the shadow of something terrible lit Remus' face, he stood his ground though, 'I don't know what you guys are playing at, but I'm coming up there in five minutes and if he's not alright I'm going to McGonagall.

'He'll be fine, Longbottom,' Remus spat and dived up the stairs after the others.

'What the hell was that about?'

Laura had reached Lily through the commotion of the startled Common Room.

'No idea…' Lily slowly shook her head.

'Do you think he's alright?' Laura asked, staring with wide eyes up the staircase, 'I mean, should we go and check?'

Lily bit her bottom lip; there was an unspoken law that no one disturbed the Marauders. Not if you wanted to wake up in your bed the next morning. She had never been in there dormitory, she wasn't sure if Laura had either.

She chewed silently for a moment. At the very least they might be able to help. Besides, she wanted to talk to James.

She drew a deep breath and said, 'Okay.'

They began a slow ascent to the dorm at the very top of Gryffindor Tower.

* * *

><p>Sirius was lying motionless on his back on the floor, his head on James' knees, Peter was throwing things out of his trunk, looking for potions and Remus was tracing blue sparks with his wand down the cut.<p>

The door chimed quietly.

James, Peter and Remus all looked up for a moment, then carried on what they were doing.

The door chimed quietly again.

'Hurry up,' James hissed.

Peter found the store of emergency potions they kept for Full Moons and other such occasions, and took three bottles across to James who conjured a handkerchief and wet it with essence of dittany.

The door chimed once more as Remus dripped blood replenishing potion into Sirius' mouth and whispered, 'Enervate.'

'Peter, get the door.'

* * *

><p>Lily was just raising her hand to rap on the door when it opened and Peter looked out at her and Laura.<p>

'Yes?' he asked as they gaped at his timing.

'I… Is Sirius alright?' Laura stumbled over her words in surprise.

Peter swung the door open wide in reply.

Sirius and James were lobbing a quaffle back and forth across the room, while Remus lay on his bed, reading a textbook. A muggle poster of a half-naked girl was pinned above Sirius' head along with several Gryffindor flags and an array of motorbikes. Sirius t-shirt was a bit bloody but there was no sign of anything on his neck apart from slightly tanned skin.

Frank Longbottom appeared behind them, 'I'm going to have to get McGonag-'

James turned and grinned, 'Sorry about that, Marauders' joke; give everyone a shock, you know?'

Frank's jaw dropped, '_Prank?_ He was bleeding all over the place.'

'Fake blood,' James grinned, 'That's why we didn't want you going after McGonagall.'

Frank didn't look very convinced, but Sirius was on his feet and the cut was gone, so he turned and left to explain to the rest of the House that it was a 'joke'.

Lily and Laura watched him go.

'So, what do you two want?' Remus asked, rolling over to look at them.

'I… That wasn't very funn-' Lily began, but Laura cut her off, none of the Marauders were looking particularly impressed that they were hanging around.

'We'll see you in morning, good night!' Laura called, dragging Lily away; she didn't want to wake up near the Charms corridor in the morning.

* * *

><p>After essence of dittany, blood replenishing potion and some quick spellwork from Remus, Sirius was back on his feet. James had only just managed to stash the bottles out of sight and chuck the quaffle he had under his bed at Sirius before Peter swung the door open wide.<p>

The door swung closed behind the girls and James turned to Sirius, 'Who did it?'

Sirius collapsed on his bed, sweat standing out on his face from the effort it had cost him to simply throw the quaffle. The glamour Remus had placed on his neck faded to reveal an ugly red weal, as James picked up the essence of dittany again.

'Snape,' Sirius muttered, 'Should have expected…' his voice tailed off as he fainted from lack of blood.


	10. Chapter 10, Retaliation

**Retaliation**

* * *

><p>Remus realised he was glaring at the door and turned away, checking Sirius' heart rate and wondering why the girls had come up. Obviously to see Sirius, but something told him that wasn't all of it; Lily had been on edge all evening. Maybe it was the new experience of going out with someone, or work, or something else entirely; he couldn't be sure. Something had had him on edge since Sirius had told him about Snape sneaking up on Lily and Caradoc earlier. Oddly James hadn't said a word about it and he was usually the first to disparage anything Snape did; maybe it was because it was Lily.<p>

James had been quiet all day, well; only since they left for Hogsmeade and they found out Lily was going with Dearborn.

He had his hand against Sirius' neck, counting his pulse against the watch on his wrist. It would be a little while before the blood replenishing potion would begin to work and Sirius had barely been able to stand when Frank came in.

Sirius blinked and looked up at the ceiling, 'I think the Slytherins are pissed after we hammered them yesterday. Mulciber, Snape and Compton tried to take me on as I came out the library,' he grinned twistedly, 'Compton'll be walking with a limp for a while, but Snape got me.'

'Yeah, we can see that,' Remus replied with a half-smile; there was no else in the school who had such a talent for the particular curse that had been used on Sirius. Indeed, Remus had tried to look it up and had been unable to find any references to it anywhere.

'Your heart's a little fast, but you'll be fine once the potion kicks in. Just make sure you put another lot of dittany on that before you go to lessons tomorrow, or Frank'll realise we lied to him,' he continued, gesturing at the inflamed line down the side of Sirius' neck.

'Yeah, will do,' Sirius replied, making himself comfortable on his bed, 'Hey, Prongs.'

James looked up from where he was studying Peter's Map which was currently in the process of being covered in runic symbols as well as their plan of Hogwarts, 'Yeah?'

'You know Evans didn't snog Dearborn, right?'

James' eyes lit up, 'What happened then? How do you know?'

'I saw Mary in the library; she seemed oddly pissed off about it.'

'Not surprised,' James muttered, 'She tried to threaten me into leaving Lily alone.'

Peter looked up, guffawing at the idea of someone threatening James, 'What?'

'Yeah, only I couldn't get her to back off without looking like the bad guy.'

Remus suddenly realised he gripping his wand in his pocket and let go.

'So what are you going to do?' Sirius pressed.

'We're… I dunno, something's happening; I like her, she might or might not like me, I haven't asked her out or anything lately. We'll just see where it goes.' James muttered, turning back to the map.

* * *

><p>A week passed and Lily fell into a rhythm; she went to lessons, she sat between the girls and the Marauders at meals, she did some of her homework with James, and spent time with the Marauders when she didn't have anything else to do. Mary seemed to have taken some kind of insult that she hadn't got with Caradoc and wasn't talking to her apart from when Mulciber fell down three flights of stairs on Tuesday. Mary immediately accused the Marauders, but Lily had seen him stand a book that fallen out of someone's bag and landed on the steps. The book had slid and he had fallen.<p>

Mary had ended up in tears; telling Lily that she was just going to get hurt and that James was still just a bully and an arrogant idiot, and if she couldn't see that it was obviously set up then Lily was just as bad as him. Lily had said something she really shouldn't have about Mary continuing to sit beside Rosier in Transfiguration and her hanging around with Slytherins.

Lily found herself spending more time with Laura and Dorcas who hung about with the Marauders more often than she and Mary ever had. She began to notice though that apart from at times when the Common Room was absolutely packed, and they somehow still managed to get the sofa by the fire, the Marauders spent very little time in Gryffindor Tower. In fact the Marauders never seemed to be anywhere.

Lily would be bored during a free lesson and think of finding them, just for something to take her mind of work but she could hardly ever find them. She even screwed up the courage to go to their dormitory again, but had only found Remus in there writing a letter to his Mum, so she thought it best to leave him alone.

* * *

><p>Sirius had given up on girls currently; he wanted to get the Map finished so they could get the Slytherins back properly. Watching Mulciber shoot down a few flights of stairs may have been amusing, but Snape was proving a problem. The Slytherins seemed to be moving around as a unit lately and he wanted Snape separate so he could pay him back.<p>

When the Marauders wanted to, they worked fast and thoroughly; they had learnt the basics of Ancient Runes and worked off the principles needed for Pensieves. A lot of ward research was being done as well, and an overall plan was slowly forming. It had taken the majority of their time recently and Remus had told him he had been interrupted while sketching out the last of the runes for the map, by Lily who had come up to their dorm.

Sirius wasn't sure if he was right or not, but Lily seemed to have been spending an inordinate amount of time with them lately. But on the other hand, they had been making an effort to spend more time in the Common Room with the girls; they didn't want anyone thinking they might be up to something since they hadn't done anything drastic for a week or two.

Sirius had a suspicion though, concerning the Slytherins; first Mulciber tried to curse Peter and he got a hell of a shock. Then Avery hexed Remus under a teacher's nose and got away with it. Then the whole Slytherin team tried them on at the Quidditch match, but that was to be expected and now the bastards had gone after him. He had a feeling they would go after James next and something brutal in him was looking forward to it; he'd break Snivellus' overly large nose if he ever got the chance.

His chance came sooner than he had expected.

* * *

><p>Midway through November, as the nights were getting dark earlier, they were coming back in from an afternoon Herbology session and using their usual route back to Gryffindor. They came out in a deserted corridor on the fifth floor and found themselves face to face with Avery, Wilkes and, most importantly, Snape.<p>

There was a split second hesitation before Avery went for his wand just before Sirius did and he almost cheered as his instincts bounced into play, but James' reactions got him there quicker and he stepped forward, punching Snivelly in the face. Before immediately going down under a barrage of bludgeoning hexes from Wilkes and Avery.

Sirius heard something snap as James fell back and produced a shield charm as Peter dragged James back into the alcove they had emerged from. Remus had his wand out by then and put Avery on his arse with a flourish. Sirius' shield charm failed and he had to duck an incoming curse.

'You're going to have to do better than that, Simeon,' he laughed, knowing Wilkes hated his first name.

Then Snivelly was back on his feet, clutching his bleeding nose with one hand and firing curses with his wand.

A gash appeared along Remus' forearm at the same instant Sirius felt his feet slide under him and he went down heavily, but not before he'd got Avery with repulsion charm. The Slytherin literally flew backwards down the corridor, colliding with a suit of armour with a clattering sound like a pair of cymbals being dropped down a set of stairs.

Then James was pulling him to his feet with one hand, grimacing at the same time as Remus tripped Snape.

As he came to his feet, he saw Wilkes change his aim from Peter to James who hadn't yet turned back to the battle and cast a concussion hex. Before he could push James out of the way, it had hit him in the back of the head, throwing them both forwards and there was an awful _crack_ as James' landed face down on the floor.

Then Flitwick arrived and ruined it by disarming all of them.

Thankfully, Snape was still on the floor and Sirius stepped forward and thumped his foot into the Slytherin's crotch before Flitwick could stop him. He heard the air go out of Snivelly's lungs in an _oof_ and the boy had gasp for breath so he could let out a thin, high scream.

Sirius couldn't help but laugh as Flitwick handed him an extra week's worth of detentions and James was carted off to the Hospital Wing. It had been a fairly solid connection between boot and ball.

* * *

><p>'Look, James; if they went after each of us, what's to say they stop there?' Sirius asked.<p>

'They wouldn't try and curse _girls_,' James pointed out to the mirror cupped in his good hand.

'This Averyand _Mulciber_ we're talking about, isn't it?'

'They wouldn't.' James said.

As usual they had been put in separate detentions, and as usual they were talking about more important things than writing lines. James had had his wand confiscated and been given him a thousand lines to write, but once Flitwick had locked him in the Charms classroom and gone to give Sirius his punishment he taken out Peter's wand and charmed the quill to write for him.

James's collar bone had been broken and he had come away with mild concussion, but Peter had ducked back down the secret staircase and got clean away. His left arm was still in a sling and he was wobbling around a bit, but on the upside Snape was now having to take his time sitting down in every lesson he went to.

'Anyway, more importantly; it's full moon on Tuesday. What do you think about trying to set up a new ward as we wander about? It's easier than tampering with stuff we don't really understand.'

Sirius considered this, 'Alright then. I'm not doing the full boundary though; I can't be arsed to trek round the Forest all night; or all the way to Hogsmeade for that matter.'

'Fair play; we'll just do the surrounding area of the castle and see if it works.'

James leaned back in his chair, all in all it hadn't been so bad; even if he hadn't been able to see Sirius give Snivelly the boot there were some definite rewards.

Since Avery had started it, Lily hadn't complained that they had been bullying Snape; indeed she hadn't mentioned him once since the Hogsmeade trip. If anything she had never been closer; by his side the instant he wobbled. Concussion was hell; he couldn't concentrate, he couldn't think and he kept losing his balance. He was still doing Quidditch, even if Miss Pomfrey had banned him, but for the look of concern on Lily's face when Dorcas let slip that he was still doing training sessions, James would have jumped into a nest full of chimaeras.


	11. Chapter 11, The Marauder's Map

**The Marauder's Map**

* * *

><p>When Sirius had told him that Lily hadn't got with Caradoc, it felt like someone had lit a candle in his heart; as though someone had blown a flame back into the dying embers of his soul. Even with the aftermath of the fight with the Slytherins; a broken collarbone that was healed in a day and the concussion, James felt more awake than he had done in weeks.<p>

Having Lily as a friend had been nice, good even, but he hadn't had the courage to do anything about it. He had been too scared to try anything in case it sent them back to square one, but seeing her with Caradoc had been crushing and he had silently vowed that he would do all he could to win her over completely. After all, if she was capable of friendship and had gone on to reject Dearborn, couldn't she be capable of something more?

With the amount of attention she had been trying to give him lately as he stumbled around the castle, with only a little more exaggeration than was necessary, she must be. She had practically been walking him to lessons.

It would have to wait a day or two though; other events were afoot. Tuesday night was their monthly date with Remus' furry little problem and it was going to take everything they had to set up a ward around the entire castle at the same time. Either Padfoot or himself would have to take care of Moony alone while the other cast the ward lines represented on the Map, it was at times like this that James regretted Peter's Animagus form somewhat, but didn't begrudge his ability to press the knot on the Whomping Willow.

* * *

><p>Lily couldn't figure James out at all; at the start of term he had been his old, arrogant self, just about proclaiming his right to rule over the castle with the other three. That seemed to have faded though; disappearing into the past when he had saved his friends, and Severus, from a werewolf in the Forest, almost sacrificing his own life. Then she admitted to herself that he could change and he responded in a way she couldn't have imagined only a year ago; maturity, honesty and schoolwork had enveloped him for a few weeks. Lily had come to admit that that short time had been the best in her school career.<p>

If she believed what she thought might be true; that James Potter did actually like her, and hadn't want to admit her own feelings in return, then she had ruined something before it had even begun. She was sure that in his eyes, going to Hogsmeade with Caradoc had been a betrayal. He had barely spoken to her since; avoiding her effortlessly.

If he wasn't in the Common Room at Gryffindor Tower, which was rare enough these days, then he was at Quidditch Practise or lessons. But there were massive gaps in between those events when he wasn't anywhere; she had even checked the library in a vain hope she might be able to find him.

Every so often he would appear; like tonight, apparently having missed supper, but eyes agleam as he, Peter and Black strode into the Common Room. Even Peter looked oddly happy and confident. Lily expected them to turf the fourth years off the sofa by the fire and take it themselves, but they ignored everyone, crossed the room and vanished up the stairs to the boys' dormitories.

'You really like him, don't you,' a voice whispered in her ear and she almost fell out of her chair.

Alice was leaning over her shoulder, looking strangely lonely without Frank in tow and an oddly serious expression on her face.

'What do you mean?' Lily asked suspiciously.

'Come on, Lily, it's obvious; you cried over him when he came back from hospital, then you practically spent a couple of weeks with him, then you decide to go to Hogsmeade with Caradoc. That was cruel, Lily.'

'I…' Lily began as Alice took the seat beside her.

'I may not spend as much time with you as I ought to, Lily, but I've known you for five and a half years and I've never, ever seen you watch anyone as much as you watch James Potter. You don't have to tell me anything, but I know you like him and it's obvious that he likes you. When was the last time you two had an argument? You might not have noticed, Lily, but whatever Mary says, he likes you and you know it.'

Lily stared at her friend and realised it was the most sensible thing anyone had said to her all year. Lily leant forward and hugged her; it was true, Alice didn't spend a lot of time with them, but she did watch over them like some kind of guardian angel.

'What should I do?'

* * *

><p>Moony had gone to the Hospital Wing for his usual appointment with Miss Pomfrey before Full Moon, having spread the word that he was going home for the night to see his Mother. Peter was excited and a little nervous about tonight and what it might mean; it was almost as great an achievement as the Animagus transformation. Moony had made him promise that he would make a start on his Care of Magical Creatures essay though, so he left Padfoot and Prongs making final revisions to the Map and took what little notes he had down to the Common Room.<p>

He caught Lily's eye as he came down the stairs and noticed she seemed to have been watching them expectantly over the top of whatever work she was supposed to be doing. Maybe she waiting for Prongs; she had been hanging about a lot lately despite the whole Caradoc disaster. In Peter's eyes, girls were a complete mystery and he wished someone could explain them to him, but even Remus couldn't help him there.

He wandered across the room and found a table in a slightly draughty corner, sat down and began to sort out his notes. It was boring and difficult and he really didn't care about chimaeras; it wasn't like he'd ever have to fight one off or anything.

He wished they could all go back to that summer; he put weight on again since the start of the year and felt terribly jealous of Padfoot and Prongs, even though he tried not to be. They had everything they could want, and he had seen Moony's point when Prongs asked him about Lily. If Prongs did manage to go out with Lily, then where would that leave the rest of them; would Prongs even have time for his friends in the future? He really hoped he would; he had always had the feeling that Padfoot only liked him because Prongs did.

If Prongs left them, then Padfoot would mostly like leave too; disappearing back into his own little world of girls and Quidditch. Where would that leave him and Moony? Would Moony go with Padfoot or would they be stuck as the two 'others' who hung about in Gryffindor Tower. Without Prongs the Marauders would fall apart.

Peter sat and worried and chewed his fingernails until Padfoot appeared at his side, saying loudly enough for anyone nearby to hear, 'I'm going to get some food, do you want anything?'

'Um… yeah, of course. I'll come with you.'

He couldn't see him, but he knew Prongs was in his invisibility cloak, just behind Padfoot.

They took their time crossing the Common Room and with exaggerated carefulness opened the Portrait Hole and climbed out.

* * *

><p>Alice watched the two Marauders leave and looked at her watch, it read ten to eleven; far too early for any Marauder to be in bed.<p>

Remus had gone home and Black and Peter were out of the way; if any time was a good time for Lily to speak to James it was now. She looked into Lily's beautiful, worried eyes and said simply, 'Go and talk to him.'

* * *

><p>So Lily, with the only advice she had, packed away her books, left them with Alice and began the long flight of stairs to the top of Gryffindor Tower and the Marauders' dorm. Her heart beat a tattoo in her chest and she didn't know what she might say, but she was damn well going to try.<p>

There was only one problem; when Lily knocked on the door, no one answered.

She knocked again. No one answered.

She opened the door. The room was empty.

She looked around, wondering if James was in the bathroom, but that door too was open and the bathroom empty. She noticed a cold breeze in the room and went to the open window to shut it, wondering if he had flown out of the window; it would be such a James Potter thing to do she thought with a smile.

She reached the window and began to pull it closed, but as she pulled it to, she saw a small approaching shape in the sky; an owl.

She left the window open in case it was for one of the boys and a few seconds later the owl landed on the open sill. She recognised it as James' Orphea from the many she had landed on James' shoulder during breakfast with fat letters from his Mum, and his complaints that he would have to read a novel's worth of writing.

Orphea regarded her with huge eyes and tilted her head to one side as if enquiring who this person might be and what they were doing in James' dorm.

'Hello,' Lily said, suddenly unsure of herself and feeling that she had been caught out, 'You're beautiful, aren't you,' she murmured, watching silky plumage ruffle and settle down again.

The owl hooted softly at her and turned to look down at the grounds, leaving Lily with the disconcerting feeling of being faced by the bird while it was looking in the opposite direction. She moved forward to see what the owl was looking at, as it turned its body and took flight again, still clutching the letter she had been carrying.

Lily peered into the dark grounds as Orphea became a shadow swooping low. Then the moon came out from behind a cloud and the lawn turned a silvery white in the moonlight, leaving Orphea clearly visible as a dark speck below. Suddenly a figure appeared, as if by apparition, bang in the middle of the lawn, except it couldn't have been apparition and Lily wondered how she could have missed them. The dark figure lifted one arm and Orphea landed neatly on his wrist; the figure was definitely male because it could only have been James Potter.

Lily watched as he took the letter and Orphea left, flying away round to the other side of the castle and the Owlery. Then he began to walk towards the Whomping Willow, which Lily noticed, was extremely still. She could feel her heart racing as he got closer and closer, expecting it to lash out at any moment.

It didn't.

His shadow reached the trunk and abruptly it was gone.

Lily sat on the windowsill for what seemed an age, wondering where he had gone and what he was doing. Was it another of their secret passages? What was there? How had he been able to control the tree?

It suddenly occurred to her that she knew very little about James Potter, other than what he was like at school and in lessons. She didn't even know if he had brothers and sisters or where he lived.

She puzzled over the questions that were flooding her brain as she kept vigil, waiting for James to reappear. She began to feel tiredness creep over her and although she knew it was a weeknight and she ought to be in bed, curiosity had her pinned to the window ledge, wanting to discover what the boy she liked, fancied even, was up to.

She wrapped her arms around herself, trying to keep a little warmer, determined to find out as her eyes grew heavier and her chin began to sink down onto her chest.

* * *

><p>A stag stepped out onto the moonlit lawn, snuffing the cold night air, stretching its legs after the confines of the tunnel it had emerged from. Then a huge figure emerged behind it; Moony was almost too big for the tunnel and had only been able to squeeze through as he had kept enough of his human mind to understand their objective. So far it had been a good night; a little rough and tumble in the shack had distracted the werewolf from itself and all it had needed was a nudge to get Moony moving down the tunnel.<p>

The werewolf drew huge panting breaths, blowing billowing clouds of steam into the sky as the last two members emerged from the tunnel; a dog and a rat. Prongs tossed his head and snuffed the air once again, searching for anything unusual.

Cold: the air. Water: the lake. Musty oldness: the forest. And a hundred others scents and sounds pricked at his ears and filled his nose.

Then one he couldn't place.

Moony drew back on his hind legs, bracing himself and drew a deep breath. The great, shaggy jaws began to form the shape that would send his call out for miles, echoing of the hills and mountainsides.

Padfoot noticed Prongs stiffness and pawed at the werewolf, trying to attract its attention.

Moony growled, low and threatening. Padfoot snapped his jaws playfully. Wormtail cowered among the tree roots. Prongs realised what he could smell.

The stag turned, lowering his antlers and began to push the werewolf towards the forest, interrupting the howl and hoping it too wouldn't catch the scent. The werewolf growled and swung a lazy paw at the stag, who stepped backward.

The stag pushed again and the werewolf decided it was too much effort to resist, it turned and headed for the treeline.

* * *

><p>Lily's head shot up, muscles contracting as she woke suddenly.<p>

Down below a huge shape moved into the shadow of the Forbidden Forest.

She blinked, unsure of what she had seen. Then she noticed something else on the treeline; a magnificent stag moving its head slightly from side to side. It almost looked as though it was scanning the castle for something, but then it turned and stepped into the trees.

Then she remembered where she was.

She checked her watch, gasping at the time and then realised the room was still empty. The boys had never come back.

She put their absence down to being Marauders and carefully lowered herself from the windowsill. Deciding that she really ought to go to bed, disappointed that she hadn't seen James and wondering what on earth they were doing.

* * *

><p>Wednesday morning found James, Sirius and Peter staring at the Map. They'd spent all night taking to turns to look after Remus while one of the others drew the ward lines round the castle grounds. They'd finished just as dawn began making its presence known as a faint glow over the mountains.<p>

'I don't understand,' James said, frowning concernedly and running a tired hand through his hair, 'why didn't it work?'

'No idea, mate,' Sirius muttered, yawning hugely, 'But I'm shattered.'

'I can't believe we spent all that time and it didn't work.' James said morosely.

'Maybe we could try putting the password on it?' Peter suggested.

'There's no point; there's nothing to protect.' Sirius scowled.

'Yes, but-'

'Merlin, Wormtail! You're a bloody genius!' James suddenly exclaimed.

'I… wh…Yes?' Peter stammered, surprised at James outburst.

Sirius leant back on the pillows of his bed though and said sulkily, 'What?'

'It's the ward; you need a source of magic for the ward to sustain itself. We drew it out; but with such a large ward you need more than just a wand to sustain it.'

Sirius' eyes lit up as he realised what his friend was getting at, 'So we finish the password thing and that should leave enough magic in the actual map to sustain the ward as well?'

'I think so,' James blurted excitedly, 'Where's Moony when you need him?'

* * *

><p>All day James sat in a haze of anticipation, waiting for Miss Pomfrey to let Remus out of the Hospital Wing. He appeared after supper, looking tired but alert, answering the curious girls in the Common Room that his Mum looked a little better, until James collared him and lead him up to their dorm.<p>

'So?' Remus asked as the door closed and James set a Sealing charm on the door.

'It didn't work, but we think we know why.'

James explained what they thought had gone wrong and that Sirius had set up the preparations that afternoon.

'All we need to do is try and put memories into the map.'

Remus looked sceptical, 'And then it'll just work?'

'I hope so,' James said with a grin.

Remus looked unconvinced, but said, 'Alright; if it doesn't kill us-'

'We're geniuses!' Sirius finished for him.

Peter unfolded the map in the middle of the floor; it looked like someone had been doodling randomly on it for years. Floor plans were covered in notes of how to open secret passages, when staircases changed position, where trick stairs appeared and other vital notes. Over the top of that were runic symbols intended for preserving memories, and interspersed between those were faintly glowing ward symbols.

It looked like a plan for some kind of daemonic ritual.

The four boys crouched down around it and Peter said, 'Together?'

'Together.' Sirius agreed and Remus rolled up his sleeves, they all touched their wands to their temples.

James thought of everything that made up his character; exactly who he was, everything he had done and remembered of his life. He could see Remus' face screwed up in concentration; it would be harder for him than the others. The three Animagi had spent years figuring out exactly who they were, and Remus had a dual personality to add to the mix.

James, Sirius and Peter waited; silver strands of glistening… stuff, waving gently around the end of their wands and until Remus slowly drew the tip of his wand away from his temple. A similar glistening thread dangling from the tip.

'Alright?' James asked.

'Yeah, fine.' Remus replied, as beads of sweat broke out across his forehead.

The four boys lowered their wands and touched the paper. The glistening strands ran off the wands and disappeared into the creases of the folds. For a moment, nothing more happened.

Then the runes began to glow as well, then the ward symbols flashed like miniature suns and the whole room lit up like a beacon. James flung a hand across his eyes, blinded and fell back with a cry.

Suddenly he felt weak, tired, almost exhausted to the depths of his soul and for a moment was tempted to just lie there on the carpet and go to sleep. He blinked though, trying to shake off the tiredness and rub the flashing afterglow of the runes out of his eyes. He grabbed the edge of his bed and pulled himself up into a sitting position; Remus looked like he had passed out, Peter was blinking at the ceiling and Sirius… James frowned at his friend.

Padfoot was curled up by his bed, head resting on his paws.

James shook his head at the oddities of his friends, wondering why Sirius had changed. Then he looked down at the map; it had folded itself up.

'Hey, guys?' he said, his throat felt dry and he sounded hoarse.

Peter yawned and looked at him, Padfoot blinked and grey eyes turned on Remus' still form. Then Sirius was back, lying beside his bed, 'I think Moony's asleep; I'm knackered.'

James leant forward, still shaking off the lethargy in his bones and prodded Remus.

He didn't move.

James prodded him harder and was rewarded with an eye opening slowly.

'I think it worked,' he announced, looking back at the folded map.

'Do you think so?' Peter asked.

'Let's give it a go; try and get it to reveal itself.' James said.

'By doing what exactly?' Sirius asked as Remus stretched and sat up, leaning back against his hands.

'Tell it to reveal itself.' Remus slurred, bags showing under his eyes.

'Reveal yourself,' Sirius said.

The blank map just sat on the floor.

'It didn't work,' Peter said.

'Wow,' Sirius said sarcastically, 'I didn't realise we were playing the obvious game…'

Peter blushed and looked at James for support; James produced his wand though, tapped the paper cautiously and commanded, 'Reveal yourself.'

Still nothing happened.

'Great,' Sirius snapped, 'that's five years' work down the drain.'

Then, as though an invisible writer was hunched over the sheet of parchment, writing blossomed across it. Extravagant and curly lettering read:

'_Mr Padfoot would like to commend himself for his excellent choice of aftershave today, but refuses to respond to ridiculous commands._

_ Mr Moony seconds Mr Padfoot and would recommend a good night's sleep; he looks tired._

_ Mr Wormtail states that Mr Padfoot ought to have a little more faith in his friends and suggests that in future he not be so impatient._

_ Mr Prongs agrees with the rest and would like to offer a password for the Marauders' Map; "I solemnly swear I am up to no good."'_

The four boys gaped at the Map for several seconds until Sirius burst out laughing, 'Merlin, I'm such an arrogant bastard!'

Then they were all laughing; astounded by their own cunning, genius, brilliance and nerve.

James leant forward though, tapped the Map again with his wand as the writing faded and said, 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good.'

Writing blossomed once more, but this time it had changed:

'_Messrs. Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs congratulate themselves on another spectacular display of magical skill and are proud to present The Marauder's Map'_

Beneath this, as though an invisible person was sketching a map of the school, appeared lines that became corridors and rooms and staircases. Small dots appeared, tiny labels above them displayed them as people walking down corridors or standing in rooms.

Once again, the four boys were awestruck at their own intelligence and forgetting their exhaustion, perused the Map until far into the night. Eventually Remus fell asleep where he sat; James and Sirius lifted him into his, as Peter fell asleep on top of his duvet. James simply kicked off his shoes, pulled his robes over his head and rolled under the covers, knowing that tonight at least, he would sleep right through.

* * *

><p><strong>AN:** Reviews are thoroughly appreciated!


	12. Chapter 12, A Moment Passed

**A Moment Passed**

* * *

><p>Lily was shattered, she hadn't gone to bed until three o'clock and she was stiff from sitting on a windowsill for hours. She half wondered why she hadn't sat on James' bed, although there would have been no knowing what might have happened if she had fallen asleep there. She pulled on her robes in a haze, not noticing the looks she was getting from her friends as she grumbled, 'Morning,' at them.<p>

Alice managed to separate her from the others as they headed down to breakfast, slowing her down and whispering, 'Where were you last night? Laura's already assumed you slept with James.'

Lily woke up very quickly, 'What?' she hissed.

'You didn't come back from seeing him until around three in the morning, even I'm not going to believe you were just talking to him, Lily.'

Alice looked a mixture of concerned and pleased with herself at getting Lily together with James Potter.

'He wasn't there.' Lily replied flatly, continuing towards the Great Hall.

'What do you mean?'

'He wasn't there, Alice,' Suddenly Lily looked scared, almost on the edge of tears, 'I sat in there for hours, I fell asleep in there, sitting on the windowsill and not a damn one of showed up. Where were they all night?'

As if on cue, James Potter, Sirius Black and Peter Pettigrew clattered down the stairs behind them and James called, 'Hey Lily,' by way of a morning greeting.

Lily had had enough; she threw caution to the wind and turned around, 'Where were you last night?' she snapped.

James looked a little confused, 'Why?'

'I…' Alice, Black and Peter were all watching her.

Something in James' eyes looked almost triumphant, 'Never mind,' she hissed, disgusted with them all.

She turned away and began to walk away, wishing she hadn't tried to talk to him, wishing she had just left it. She was tired and stiff and she definitely didn't need an argument with Potter before she had even had breakfast.

'Lily, wait!'

There were footsteps behind her, closing quickly, she quickened her pace, but he caught her easily.

'Why did you want to know?'

She was angry, angrier than she had been in weeks and fed up with dancing around the subject as though it was somehow forbidden, 'I wanted to talk you. Where were you?'

Alice, Black and Peter had disappeared.

'I…' he looked strangely hesitant for a moment, then he sighed and said, 'we were in the Forbidden Forest. Don't be angry, Lily, please.'

Lily stared at him.

After everything that had happened this year, after all he had been through. He still had the nerve, the stupidity to…

'It was Full Moon last night, James! What the hell were you thinking?'

She couldn't even begin to comprehend the risks they had been taking; it had been proven that there were werewolves in there. He had proven that.

'I'm not scared, Lily.'

'You're not _scared_?' Lily stared at him in amazement, 'It's not about being _scared_, you idiot! There are things in there that could kill you! Have _tried _to kill you!'

'That's not what I meant, Lily.'

His face had gone strangely sombre, darkly hazel eyes watching her with something like concern. Lily had to mentally take a step back before she realised what he was talking about. He had changed the topic without her realising.

'You're not angry about where I was last night, Lily. You know we've been going into the Forest for years and you've never, ever told me it was dangerous. So why now, Lily? Why now? What's changed?'

* * *

><p>He had to press her; it was the only way it could ever work. If he didn't back her into a corner, then she might never acknowledge what he thought of her, how much he liked her.<p>

'I wanted to talk to you,' she said lamely, looking down at the floor and brushing a strand of hair back from her face.

His heart was pounding so fast.

'What about?' he asked, trying to sound as natural as he could.

* * *

><p>She was scared. She was downright terrified.<p>

She knew she liked him. But that much? Could she say it to his face?

It wasn't just that either.

If… If he really did like her, if they did start going out, what would happen? Lily wasn't stupid, it would be all over the school; people would be talking about her everywhere she went. She had to make a decision; had James Potter really changed that much or was he still just the eleven year old boy who had pretended to push her off the Astronomy Tower?

What had they been doing in the Forest last night?

* * *

><p>James knew the answer long before she said it; it was in the way her hands held each other and she glanced out the window before she looked up at him.<p>

He took a deep breath.

'It was n-'

'Don't worry about it. Maybe another time.' He said and made to walk past her, towards the Great Hall and breakfast. He tried to quash the disappointment rising in his chest and walk away; it wasn't his choice to make and she had made her decision, part of him wasn't even surprised.

She stopped him with a hand on his chest as he mentally added, 'or another life.'

He looked down, trying not to narrow his eyes at her and asked civilly, 'What are you doing?' now wasn't the time to get angry.

* * *

><p>She had expected him to say something, maybe something harsh or rude. But he hadn't; he had kept his peace and begun to walk away.<p>

She wasn't sure if she ought to be surprised and grateful, or whether she had, once again, made a massive oversight in her judgement of the boy in front of her. Was she just cruel and petty?

She had admitted it to herself; she liked James, liked him more than a friend. And he had given her a chance.

One trip into the Forest though and she had thrown her feelings aside. She had never felt this much doubt and confusion over a boy she liked, but then, she had never really got to know any boys like James.

Maybe, in some ways, he was more mature than her.

Somehow, her hand came up and pressed against his chest, stopping him from walking away. Suddenly she realised her heart was racing and she didn't know why.

Where moments ago there had been earnest honesty, now there was just cold recognition looking down at her, 'What are you doing?'

Her heart thumped in her chest and she knew she didn't want to let him walk away; she didn't want a return to the old ways, or worse.

Despite the blank gaze, despite her worries, despite everything she had though; he had managed to prove himself by doing the only thing she thought he couldn't: walking away. He wasn't that eleven year old boy anymore, but maybe she was still that little girl and maybe, just maybe, it was time to grow up.

She reached up and kissed him on the lips.

With James it wasn't like she expected at all.

There was no explosion of stars, no thrill of excitement that ran up her spine, she didn't feel weak at the knees or like a princess who had just been rescued. There was none of that.

It simply felt right.


	13. Chapter 13, Blood Traitor

**Blood Traitor**

* * *

><p>Over the next few weeks, Lily fell into a sort of routine; she went to lessons, she did her homework, she chatted with the girls and she spent time with James.<p>

Of course, he still sat with the Marauders during lessons and went to Quidditch practise; he still had a team to run. But when he was free, they would curl up in the Common Room, or sneak off to an old, abandoned teacher's office he had found and snuggle up together on a sofa in front of the fire.

Whether they were doing homework, or simply sitting and talking about… well, stuff.

They would be sitting side by side, scribbling down a Transfiguration essay and suddenly James would laugh, break off writing and lean back in his chair. She would look up and be unable to do anything but grin at him, before asking, 'What's so funny?'

'It's just this:' he would reply, gesturing at the foot or so he had already written, 'you know, there's a Spanish Wizard who has this theory that the basic laws of Transfiguration are utterly wrong. If he's right, then everything we are learning is utter rubbish!'

Then he would be off, trying to explain the complex laws of Threndall's Transubstantiation and how that related to the four principles of elementary switching while Lily could only sit in bemused wonder, caught up in the simple excitement of his words.

It was wonderful and, yet, she wasn't sure what to make of it; everywhere she went there whispers and looks from everyone. She was James Potter's _girlfriend_.

Some of the things she had heard people say were downright _rude._

* * *

><p>Things came to a head when she and James were walking back to Gryffindor Tower after a rather exciting session in the abandoned Teacher's Office; James had found a sofa to drag in there and things had got a bit hot, cuddled up in front of the fire together. Lily's hair was rumpled and James' shirt sleeve had somehow managed to get torn.<p>

They were walking back though, having repaired his sleeve, when they bumped into Wilkes, Mulciber and Compton. They had surrounded George Hill near the painting of Inias the Intelligible and he was down on the hard stone floor, gasping for breath.

James immediately pulled out his wand and said urgently, 'Lily, go find a teacher.'

'James, you can't-'

'Damnit, Lily; they're hurting him and I can't take on all three: just go!'

As he said it, Compton heard them and turned around, 'Well, if it isn't Potty and his pet Mudblood.'

'Say that again, Simeon, I dare you,' James growled, 'Lily _go_!'

Lily took one last, frightened look at them and sped off down the corridor.

* * *

><p>The other two turned around, leaving George pale and gasping on the floor; Wilkes grinned when he saw Lily run off and his eyes locked on James'.<p>

'That's right, Potter, send the filthy little Mudblood on her way like a good house-elf, you're a blood traitor you know. I thought screwing with scum like her was below even you. Apparently not.'

Three against one was poor odds, especially with someone like Wilkes facing him.

James tried not to listen to the words though; he was now alone and they were going to make the most of it.

Wilkes fired something silvery at him and James ducked to avoid it, coming up smiling, 'Now, now, boys-'

A bludgeoning hex hit him in the ribs.

He came spluttering for air, seeing red and rasped, 'Repulso,' as a third spell went over his shoulder.

It was a fairly simple spell and it had a fairly simple effect; Mulciber flew backwards and crashed into a suit of armour. It also had the effect of creating a hell of racket as the lot tumbled to the floor in a din of clanging metal and Mulciber's swearing.

Wilkes and Compton on the other hand went full out; hexes, jinxes and the occasional curse flew past James in a barrage. It was all he could do to put up a shield charm and try and hold them off. He'd never been particularly great at defence though and his charm soon shattered, instead he levitated the shield from the suit of armour in front of him, transfiguring it until it was nearly five foot high and three wide. Spellwork dented it, but it kept the worst off until Wilkes' bone-shattering curse bounced off the wall and hit his left elbow, he had to bite down on his lip to stop himself screaming and it was all he could do to keep the shield in place as he fell to one knee with the sheer, overwhelming pain of it.

Hopefully the clanging armour would have alerted someone… His left arm hung at an impossible angle and he tried to let it move as he ducked again, feeling blood flow down his chin where he had bitten through his lip.

He hung on as more spells buckled the shield in front of him and then it was wrenched to one side and he almost went with it. He saw a glowing orange jet shoot towards him and he knew he was going to end up in the hospital wing, or worse, by the end of the day. He had lost his wand somehow and it was over.

The jet stopped in mid-air and dissipated though; a shield charm had formed between James and the Slytherins. Then Wilkes went down under a barrage of hexes; sprouting antlers and what look like warts as he went down. Mulciber scrambled out the armour and legged it down the corridor, getting out sight before anything could touch him. Compton tried to follow him, but George suddenly sat up, still wheezing and grabbed his leg as he went by.

Compton hit the ground with a crash and a yell of pain as James turned to see his rescuers were Benjy Fenwick and a Seventh Year that James recognised as the Hufflepuff Quidditch Captain; Harvey Kayser, along with Lily who was brandishing her wand at Compton and looked ready to hex him if he so much as looked at James.

'You alright, mate?' Benjy asked, helping James to his feet as Compton groaned.

* * *

><p>'Elbow's shattered,' James said evenly through gritted teeth; he was white as a sheet and blood had soaked into his collar where it had run down his neck from his mouth. It looked like he had bitten through his lip, Lily thought.<p>

'Oh my God,' she whispered when he turned to face her; it had barely been two minutes since she had run for help, but James' left arm was twisted and hung at an obscene angle, his right hand clutching at the elbow, 'Flitwick's on his way,' she said, her voice shaking,

Why had she run off? She should have stayed and stopped them; now James was hurt, badly.

Kayser walked across and pulled George to his feet, collecting the stunned Wilkes' wand as he did so. Benjy and Lily both stepped forward to help James, Lily retrieving his wand as she did so, but he stumbled away towards Compton hissing, 'You… are… a… complete… _bastard.'_

He punctuated the last word by pulling back his right foot and kicking Compton squarely between the legs, right in the crotch. Lily tried to look away, but her gaze was caught by James' left arm swinging wildly as his foot connected with his target and she watched him collapse against the wall, trying to not scream in pain as the bones grated.

Unfortunately it was at that moment that Flitwick came round the corner.


	14. Interlude: Dark Decision

**Interlude: Dark Decision**

* * *

><p>'We need to try something else.'<p>

'Like what? We tried cursing them and look what happened; detention and Slytherin are now at the bottom of the House points.'

'Who cares about House points?'

'I'm just trying to make a point.'

'Hur hur, very witty.'

'It wasn't a joke you fool.'

'Where's Rosier when you want him?'

'Probably wandering about with the Mudblood; Nott claims she saw them holding hands the other day.'

'Bollocks; Rosier's not that stupid.'

'We need a different approach; or we'll end just end like Snape and Avery.'

'Yeah, and something not involving Black or Potter this time; my balls still hurt.'

'We don't want to know about your bollocks, Compton.'

'Yeah, well, I wouldn't be complaining if you're stupid plan had worked.'

'Tell you what; Potter's always fancied that Mudblood, Evans, hasn't he?'

'Yeah, why?'

'Get her.'

'Potter would kill you.'

'Are you afraid of Potter, Mulciber?'

'No, but I'm not about to go and put my head on a plate for him; I'm not fucking stupid. Get one of her friends; get Yates or Meadowes or someone.'

'Are you joking: Yates is an even worse choice; Longbottom would actually take your head off, apparently he's going into the Auror Academy next year.'

'Fine; Meadowes then.'

'Once again, Potter would kill you if you went after his team.'

'Fine then, Wilkes, you come up with something.'

'Alright; take Tavistock or the other one, Rosier's suck up. It'll keep Rosier off her at least.'

'Tavistock's pureblood.'

'Well, it's decided then.'

* * *

><p><strong>AN: **A slight change to Chapter 12, ending wise, for those of you who haven't seen as of (28/3/2013). Sorry, for the change, but Trust just wasn't going to work the way I had it planned, hence the huge break in my writing. Hope you can forgive me!


	15. Chapter 14, Homecoming

**Homecoming**

* * *

><p>Familiar hands crept around Lily's shoulders and warm breath tickled her ear, 'Alright babe?'<p>

Lily frowned and stared from her Charms essay to the pile of books at her side.

The hands stopped massaging and James' slightly concerned voice said, 'Lils? Are you alright?'

'I'm fine; I'm trying to work.' She replied dismissively.

'Oh, right. I was just going to say sorry about yesterday, I know I wasn't around much; we were up late and I was absolutely knackered. Still am actually.'

It had been Full Moon night, the night before and James had also had homework to do after that. Not just that, but they had noticed that there were several areas of the castle that showed up on the Marauder's Map that they didn't even know existed. They had no idea how they had appeared, but there was at least one tunnel leading out of the castle that they hadn't seen before and certainly hadn't drawn themselves. They had spent much of yesterday looking for these places, although they had found they couldn't actually get into them; passwords were such bastards to guess. Research needed to be done. As a result, he hadn't really seen Lily since before the Full Moon, despite living in the same tower as her.

Lily still didn't turn round, instead she selected a book and began to leaf through the index.

'Are you angry with me?' James asked softly.

'No.'

'Come on then, Lils, look at me.' He cajoled.

'I've got to do this.'

'Alright then, but if you want to wait till later, I need to do it too, I've got to go to Quidditch practice.'

'Ok.' was Lily's monosyllabic reply.

James sighed; girls. He was still exhausted; six hours sleep after forty-three being awake wasn't doing him any favours and he really couldn't be bothered to try and sort out Lily at the moment. He picked up his broomstick, collected Sirius and slouched away towards the Portrait Hole. Hopefully a couple of hours of Quidditch practice would sort out his mind.

* * *

><p>Lily watched him go and sighed, suddenly regretting her bad mood and dismissive display. She half wanted to go after him and apologise, but the other half of her said that she was always running after him.<p>

She always had to go and look for him.

Thankfully Laura slid into the seat beside her and said, 'Lily, you know it's only been two weeks; it's not like you're about to marry him or anything. Calm down.'

'I am calm,' Lily snapped.

'Yup,' said Laura, examining her fingernails, 'And I'm the Giant Squid's niece. You're taking this whole thing way too seriously. It's just James Potter.'

'That's it though,' Lily groaned, 'He's always so nice and lovely and fun-'

'So what are you complaining about?'

'He's never around,' Lily said with a pout.

Laura stared at her, 'I never thought I'd hear the day you would complain that James Potter wasn't around enough.'

Lily blushed and Alice wandered over to see what was going on; a rare event that she wasn't wrapped around Frank, talking about babies names and what their perfect house would be like.

'Heya,' she said, smiling cheekily, 'What's Lily grumping about?'

'James not being around enough,' Laura answered triumphantly.

'He didn't even speak to me yesterday…' Lily said morosely.

'Well… talk to him about it; you're always talking to him.' Alice said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world, which it probably was.

'I…'

'Where does he live by the way?' Alice suddenly shot, before Lily could reply.

'I… er… I'm not really sure actually…'

'South Downs,' Laura supplied, 'it's such an amazing house too; it's got these huge gardens and fountains and stuff. They've got animals everywhere too; it's like being at a zoo or something. They've got a Jarvey in the garden that chases the gnomes, and they must have about twenty Crups, all ones that have been abandoned; I swear Dorea collects them.'

'Dorea?' Alice and Lily asked.

'Oh, James' Mum; she's so lovely,' Laura said with a smile, 'How come you don't know any of this, Lily? You're supposed to be his girlfriend!'

'I… oh, we've never really talked about families.' Lily said, suddenly feeling foolish and knowing that it was lie; they had talked about her family, but the topic had never really got round to James'. Suddenly she felt quite selfish.

'And I totally forgot to ask you; how did he ask you out? Was it a straight: Go out with me? Or was it done on bended knee?' Laura continued, aglow with curiosity, tangling a strand of auburn hair round her fingers.

Lily felt even more foolish as she answered, 'He hasn't really asked me out yet…'

'Oh…' Laura said, looking slightly stunned, 'So it's not official then?'

'I'm not sure… I… I suppose not.'

* * *

><p>James got back from Quidditch practice, soaking from the rain and covered in mud from where Hannah had knocked him off his broom. He had a nice bruise flowering across his shoulder, but he was too exhausted to do anything about it. He showered, changed into something more comfortable than his school robes and pulled the Marauders' Map out of Peter's trunk.<p>

He tapped it and said, 'I solemnly swear I am up to no good.'

The ink faded into being across the parchment and he began searching for various people; Sirius was still in the changing rooms with Tommy and George, Remus and Peter were in the library, Wilkes was still in the Hospital Wing. James grinned to himself at this revelation and pictured Wilkes hitting the floor again; it was just too satisfying to forget.

He was looking for Lily though; she wasn't in the Common Room, library, or her dorm. Then he spotted Lily in the disused teacher's office he had shown her; what was she doing there? He cleared the Map and folded it away; he thought he'd go find her and give her the news.

* * *

><p>Lily started and looked up as someone knocked on the door; she hadn't expected anyone to come here and was now worried a teacher had found her. The Common Room had been too noisy though, and she couldn't concentrate on her work.<p>

The door opened slowly and James poked his head round, 'There you are! I'd thought you'd done a runner or something!'

Lily smiled, forgetting she supposed to be annoyed, and said, 'How did you know I was here?'

'Process of elimination, babe,' James said with a grin, tucking something into his pocket and sliding over the back of the sofa.

He took the book out of her hands, conjured a bookmark and set it carefully on the floor, then he said with a twinkle in his eye, 'Since you missed out yesterday, I think we need some quality time.'

* * *

><p>Later Lily lay beside him on the sofa, feeling slightly drained after their furious bout of snogging; her head rested on his un-bruised shoulder and her hand rested on his tummy, gently playing with the hem of his t-shirt.<p>

James was desperately trying to control his groin as Lily's fingernails kept coming into contact with the sensitive skin of lower abdomen. Sometimes he hated the lack of control he had over that part of his body.

'Where do you live, James?' Lily asked softly.

'Ah, that reminds me; I was going to ask you earlier.'

'Ask me what?' Lily asked, lifting her head to look at him. Her curtain of hair drifted across James' neck.

'Well…' James said, building suspense, 'I wrote to my parents the other day, and…'

'And what?' Lily asked as he trailed off.

'I told them about you, and how wonderful you were and how lovely and beautiful and-'

Lily had to stop his mouth with a kiss, and could feel him grin against her lips. She broke away to let him continue, but he just kept going, 'intelligent and funny and-'

She rolled over on top of him and kissed him harder, forcing him to open his lips to hers. After what felt like several minutes she broke off again and gazed down at him, raising one eyebrow to say, 'Enough of the flattery already.'

'Alright…' James said, rolling his eyes, 'Anyway, I asked them if I could invite you over to stay for a few days at Christmas and they said yes.'

Lily didn't know what to say, all kind of thoughts rushed into her head; James liked her enough to want to take her to his house and meet his parents, what would she get him as a Christmas present? Oh God, she'd have to get something for his parents… She had no idea what they were like. What would James' house be like? Laura had barely described a motley collection of animals, not the house or his parents.

Then a crashing thought; would he expect her to have sex?

'So? What do you think?' James asked, eyes curious as to her odd silence.

'I'd love too,' Lily breathed, 'but I'll have to ask my Mum and Dad.'

Then a whole load more thoughts bombarded her; what would her Mum and Dad say? She hadn't even told them that she had a boyfriend; if he was a boyfriend… she needed to sort that out. Surely they'd want to meet him first, and probably his parents. Of course her parents would want to meet his; they found anyone magical fascinating.

But James was kissing her again, leaning up on his elbows and she slid back from sitting on his tummy to sitting on his lap and suddenly she felt something pressed against her thigh.

James broke off and looked down, for the first time ever Lily saw a hint of a blush appear on his cheeks. She completely forgot about the rigid lump against her leg; he looked so adorable, like a little boy with his hair all ruffled and a pink, embarrassed tinge across his face.

'Oh Merlin, I'm sorry, Lily,' he muttered, 'I swear that thing has a mind of its own.'

Lily felt so sorry for him as he tried to excuse himself that she found herself not caring and leant forward to kiss him again.

* * *

><p>The holidays seemed to rush up like a rampaging Hippogriff and before Lily knew it she was packing her trunk to take home. December had arrived in a flight of wind and the onset of heavy snow.<p>

The last Hogsmeade weekend of term had been beautiful; with just a light layer of snow dusting the town to make it beautiful, but still bearable. She had spent the morning with Laura and Dorcas before meeting up with James; he had been wonderful and they had ended up going back to the castle early to snuggle up on the sofa in front of the fire in the relatively empty Common Room.

Lily was no longer worrying about James breaking off dramatically with her and had settled into a routine of work and relaxation as the holidays arrived. She had given up on Mary currently; she was still not talking to Lily since she had started hanging out with James.

Lily frowned as she folded jeans into her trunk; now that she thought about it, James had still not really asked her out. She had sent her parents a letter saying she had a boyfriend, and that she had been asked to stay at his house for a few days over the holidays. Her Dad had written back, obviously intrigued by this new occurrence and had said that she _ought_ to bring him over for tea or something, so her parents could meet him first.

Knowing her Dad, he would probably want to question him; find out who he was, what he was like and what background he came from. James would most likely get the full nine yards.

The plan was to go straight back to the Evans' house from Kings Cross Station, and James would spend the afternoon with them before heading home. Then on Boxing Day, James would pick up Lily and she would stay until the New Year.

She was still worried about meeting his parents, though he didn't seem the least nervous about meeting hers. He had warned her that his Dad could be a bit of a 'nightmare', and she wasn't sure what he meant by that. He had flat out refused to tell her about his parents; saying, "You'll see when you meet them."

Lily had noticed that about him; he could talk about almost anything, but never, ever touched upon any subject that involved himself. When she tiptoed near the subject of the Marauders, Sirius, what he wanted to do after school, or even what his favourite colour was, he would veer off wildly with some startling story or tell her a joke. She didn't understand it.

There were also times when he would disappear for hours, or once for an evening, and refused to explain, brushing it off as "just doing stuff". Lily mostly ignored the odd accidents that happened to Slytherins like Mulciber and Avery; besides she couldn't prove he had done anything, but, nevertheless, she tried not to worry when he would disappear for hours on end. She didn't say anything about it, but it left a niggling doubt at the back of her mind that there was still some part of James that hadn't grown up; most likely that part that refused to talk about himself.

It was as though he had drawn up some huge blank canvas and cast a shadow of himself upon it; Lily could see the edges of the shadow, but didn't know what was making it.

* * *

><p>Remus looked out over the hills as icy wind battered the window of the train; it was just him, Sirius and Peter in the compartment. James was off somewhere with Lily; they seemed to have been wrapped around each other constantly since the Marauders' Map had been finished.<p>

It was like they were slowly losing him and Sirius had complained about it; "We losing you to the dark side, Prongs…"

James had just laughed it off though, apparently not noticing the slight edge of tension in Sirius' voice and the hurt look in Peter's eyes. He's listened later to Sirius scoffing at Peter's attempts at humour, but with James curled up elsewhere with Lily, he felt lethargic and couldn't be bothered to defend Peter from Sirius' sarcasm. It seemed that without James, they lost all their energy and descended into petty squabbling.

He'd listened to Sirius though, as he spoke of his idea that the Slytherins were starting some kind of House war with Gryffindor, but so far they had only tried anything against the Marauders or the Quidditch team and that had failed miserably. Sirius suggested they might attack lower years next, but Remus waved him off, 'Avery's not going to go after First Years; he might be a bastard but he does know where to draw the line.'

'I'm not so sure,' Sirius muttered, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

'Mhmm, I wouldn't put it past him,' Peter mumbled through a mouthful of pumpkin pasty.

Just then James appeared, sliding open the door and collapsing into a seat, his hair even more ruffled than usual; most likely a by-product of Lily's attentions.

'You'll want to sort that out if you're going to meet the parents,' Remus pointed out.

'Yeah, I don't think sex hair will go down well with her Father,' Peter grinned as he swallowed a particularly large mouthful.

'Sex hair?' James asked, raising an eyebrow

'Actually, while we're on the subject,' Sirius interrupted.

'Of sex hair?' Peter asked, looking completely perplexed.

'Sex, you fool,' Sirius snorted, rolling his eyes, 'Remus said I could stay at his when Lilykins comes over; I don't want to get between you and a securely locked bedroom door. Nor do I want to witness anything untoward; you might soil my innocent mind.'

'I ain't got nuffink you aven't seen already, darlin'.' James said in a cockney accent, coupled with a lascivious wink.

'Nah, seriously Prongs. I'm going over to Remus' for a few days; I won't spoil your fun.'

James looked slightly worried, 'You don't have too, Padfoot. I don-'

'I know I don't _have_ too,' Sirius said, 'but she's meeting your parents, not your best mates. Besides, I'm sure your headboard banging against the wall will just give me a headache.'

Peter and Remus snorted; last summer when they had been staying in Cornwall they had heard James and his summer girlfriend when they had been on the beach. She had been staying in a caravan and the walls weren't particularly soundproof.

Needless to say, that evening when they went to the pub they had been incredibly embarrassed to find the others were cracking jokes about groaning bed springs, James' stamina and Abigael's rather high pitched noises.

'Merlin, Padfoot; I didn't need to hear about that again. Anyway, I'm not taking her home just to ravish the poor girl.'

'Nae sex?' Sirius asked, wide-eyed and feigning astonishment.

Remus lifted his hand and felt James' forehead, 'Are you alright, Prongs?' he asked concernedly.

'There you go Wormy; James is becoming a martyr, we'll make you a saint yet.'

The outskirts of London appeared in the windows; snow had become rain and the wind had died to chilly gusts. They manoeuvred their trunks out into the corridor and James made to set off to find Lily again.

Sirius grabbed him and held him back though, 'Mate, seriously; sort your hair out. Her parents will think you've been shagging her all the way home.'

James grinned and checked his reflection in the corridor window, smoothing his hair down and checking his shirt was tucked in. He decided on a jeans, a shirt and a jacket; smart but not too formal. Sirius would take his trunk home; James' parents were at some early Ministry Christmas event, as James' Father still got regular invites.

James shook Remus and Peter's hands, drawing them into manly hugs and saying, 'Have a good Christmas; I'll see you at New Year, right?'

'Sure, have a good 'un.' Remus replied, with a grin.

'Good luck!' Peter said.

'Remember to wear a condom!' Sirius shouted down the corridor after him as the train pulled into the station.

'I'm only going for sodding tea! I don't need a bloody condom anyway!' James shouted back, causing several younger years to alternately blush or wonder why others were blushing.

'The rest of the train probably doesn't care about your sex life!' came Remus' parting shot as James disappeared along the crowded corridor.

'Of course they do! I'm…' floated back, but the rest was lost.

'What's a condom?' Peter asked suddenly.

Sirius barked with laughter and Remus grinned, 'It's a Muggle thing…' he snorted, 'they put a rubber…err… sheath thing over…. You know, when they're having sex; stops girls getting pregnant.'

Peter looked horrified, 'That's just sounds… weird!'

'Yeah, I don't like them at all,' Sirius said as the train ground to a halt at Platform Nine and Three Quarters, 'I hate the smell of burning rubber.'

* * *

><p>James found Lily and kissed her chastely on the cheek; they had just pulled into Kings Cross and he wasn't sure if her parents might already have spotted them from the Platform. She hugged her friends, said her goodbyes and James gave them a wave as he hefted Lily's trunk in his arms to carry it out onto the Platform.<p>

He found a trolley and put Lily's trunk down, rubbing the marks on his arms where it had dug into his skin, then he wheeled it round to find Lily receiving hugs and kisses from a man and a woman who could only be her parents. He wheeled the trolley over.

The woman looked up at him standing awkwardly by and it was a moment before she guessed who he was, recognition dawned just as Lily broke away from her Father, saying, 'Mum, Dad; this is James Potter. James, this is my Mum and Dad.'

Mrs Evans, thin, auburn and smiling swept forward and hugged him, slightly to James surprise, 'It's lovely to meet you, dear, and we've heard so much about you.'

'Oh, no.' James said, with mock terror and was rewarded with a slight chuckle.

'Hello, son.' Mr Evans said, stepping forward, hand held out. James took it firmly and Lily's Father gave it a sharp downward tug, as though he was testing a knot.

'Pleased to meet you, Sir.' James said, looking him in the eye.

'Well, shall we head off then?'

* * *

><p>The car was small and blue and stuffy, and to be perfectly honest, James hated it. It was far too confined. He folded into the back seat with an ingratiating smile though and just managed to jam his knees behind the seat in front; suddenly being six foot one wasn't the best thing in the world.<p>

Lily gave him an apologetic grin and mouthed, 'Sorry!' to him, taking his hand and giving it a squeeze.

Thankfully it wasn't too far. Lily lived on the outskirts of London and as they pulled into a little row of houses and lawns, James could see the chimney stack of an old factory or mill through the drizzle. Lily's Father took her trunk inside and her Mum put the kettle on as James slipped off his shoes by the front door; he was glad he'd done his background reading on Muggle living, or would have been more than slightly perplexed by several things as he walked into the kitchen.

'Have a seat, dear, you must be tired after your journey,' Lily's Mother said.

James sat; having spent several hours sitting on a train it was just about the last thing he wanted to do, but courtesy demanded it.

'Lily's told us a little bit about you, James, but what do your parents do?' Mr Evans was gruffly spoken, probably about an inch taller than James and far broader across the shoulders. He was Lily's Father, and yes, James did feel slightly intimidated by him.

He relaxed his body, making sure he still sitting almost bolt upright, smiled and said, 'Well, they're both retired now, but my Father worked at the Ministry.'

'Like the Government.' Lily said quickly.

'Yes, I remember, darling.' The cropped, red-headed man's had swung briefly to his daughter and back again.

'He was Head of the Department of Magical Sports and Games before he retired, I'm afraid he and Mother are at a Ministry Christmas event today, otherwise they would have loved to have met you. Mother worked at St Mungo's; the Hospital. But they're both fairly old now,' he glanced at Lily, knowing she probably knew about as much his parents as her parents did. She was following his every word too.

* * *

><p>Lily sank back in her chair, suppressing a sigh; James was getting the full twenty questions from her Dad. She was listening though; James was being forced to tell them a lot of things she didn't know, simply out of politeness. He had told them about his parents, his hobbies; "Quidditch mostly", and plenty of anecdotes and news from the Wizarding World.<p>

Lily watched him as he talked; he didn't just tell them things, he asked them if they had heard about the Wizengamot's new reform laws. It was as though he invited them to take part in the conversation, and his world. Lily was beginning to realise how he managed to slip away from her questions so easily; he didn't just talk, he explained, asked for opinions and completely turned the tables on people.

'Well, I'd to look at playing Quidditch professionally after school, but there are hundreds of things that interest me otherwise. I think Dragon Keeping would be quite good fun.'

Lily snorted at the joke, her Mum laughed slightly nervously and her Dad realised it was a joke far too late.

'Didn't you say you had a sister, Lily?' James asked, covering his confusion at the lack of reaction with a question.

'Petunia's on holiday with Vernon and his parents; they've gone to Majorca.' Lily's Mother supplied.

'In December?' Lily asked.

'Ah, someone else who sees the ridiculousness of it!' Mr Evans grinned, 'It's good to have you home again, Lily.'

'And Vernon's the fiancée?' James asked.

'Yes… he's lovely really.' Mrs Evans said kindly, sipping her tea.

'Come on, Cynthia; he's as pompous as his parents.' Mr Evans said to James' surprise.

'Henry! You shouldn't say things like that!' Mrs Evans scolded as Lily giggled, 'Oh, good Lord, is that the time already? We've kept you far too long already! How are you getting home?' she suddenly exclaimed.

'Oh, our house-elf will come and get me. I'm afraid there might be a bit of a bang when she arrives, so don't worry.'

Lily was astonished, 'You have a house-elf?'

James looked slightly embarrassed, 'Um, yeah. Anyway, I'll say goodbye then.' He said, getting to his feet.

He kissed Lily's Mum on the cheek, shook her Dad's hand again, and then Lily drew him into the hall.

He smiled worriedly down at her and whispered tensely, 'How did I do?'

'Great,' Lily breathed, reaching up to kiss him. Suddenly she didn't want him to leave; she wanted him to stay pressed against the flowery wallpaper forever with her. She breathed in the smell of him; that warm aroma that made her feel so comfortable and relaxed. There were footsteps and she only just brushed his lips before she pulled away. Her Dad appeared in the doorway, as though to check they weren't doing just what they had been about to do.

'Right, I'll be off then,' James said, giving her a quick squeeze, 'Cheery?' he said suddenly.

There was a loud _Crack_ and small creature appeared at James' side. Mr Evans stared at the tiny elf, wrapped in a sort of toga emblazoned with a crest and an ornate broach pin holding it all in place.

'Well, thank you for having me, it was wonderful to meet you and I hope I'll see you again soon. Have an amazing Christmas!' he turned blazing eyes on Lily and whispered, 'I'll miss you.'

Then, without even a last hug, he was gone.


	16. Chapter 15, Christmas

**A/N: **Not hugely seasonal, but it'll have to do. Enjoy Easter people!

**Christmas **

* * *

><p>'Well, Henry, what did you think of him?' Cynthia Evans asked later that evening as she brushed her hair before bed.<p>

'I'm not sure about him. He's a darn sight better than Vernon. He seemed decent though, well brought up; but he avoided an awful lot of questions.'

Cynthia sighed and turned round, 'Darling, you just about had him pinned to the wall with all of your questions. I thought he seemed like a nice boy.'

'You said that when you met Dursley; I'd still say there's something off about him. He seemed alright in my book though.'

* * *

><p>'Well?'<p>

'Well what?'

Sirius rolled his eyes, 'How was it? What were they like? Did her Dad ask you what your intentions towards his daughter were?'

James' parents weren't back yet and though they had been invited to go along, Sirius and James weren't inclined to stand around with a bunch of boring, bureaucratic adults.

James shrugged, 'They were alright, her Dad was a bit nosy, but I kind of expected that. Oh, and he wouldn't leave us alone for two seconds, but her Mum seemed nice.'

'And the sister?'

'On holiday with her fiancée; he sounds like a barrel of laughs though,' James grinned, 'Hope I get to meet him.'

Sirius raised an eyebrow, 'That good?'

'Yeah, even her Dad basically said he was a pompous arse.'

Sirius grinned back.

A female voice floated along the corridor, 'James? Sirius? We're home!'

* * *

><p>Christmas passed in a welter of arguments, excitement, snow and presents.<p>

The snow fell on Christmas Eve; starting late in the afternoon, it drifted down from the soft grey clouds, first a few flakes at a time, then thickening as the sun began to set. When Lily went to lock the front door that evening she opened it and looked out into what seemed to be a ghostly white world that was slowly filling up with snow.

She'd been arguing with Petunia and her parents about Vernon coming over for Christmas lunch and was not happy to hear that he would be coming whether she liked it or not.

She desperately wanted to see James again; arguing with Petunia was never easy and now she just wanted to curl up in his arms. Of course, Petunia had found out that she now had a boyfriend, and had been making jibes about him ever since she had got home.

'How's the other freak?'

'Is he not writing to you? He must have forgotten about you.'

'If he's got any sense, he's probably found a new girlfriend.'

'I'm not surprised he hasn't written; you're probably more freaky than all the rest put together.'

It was true, James hadn't written to her, but then she hadn't written to James. They were only apart for a week or so, and the idea of it hadn't bothered Lily; a week wasn't a long time.

When it came down to it though, each day dragged painfully; full of building Christmas tension and Petunia's horrible little remarks. Despite her previous convictions and telling herself that Petunia was just trying to wind her up, she began to worry again.

Lily stared at the huge, thickly falling snowflakes and closed the door against the cold. She was only wearing her pyjama bottoms and t-shirt after all; she turned, went upstairs and climbed into her bed. She lay under the duvet for several minutes, then she shuffled back out from under the covers and went across to her trunk that was lying in the corner of her room.

She opened the lid and shuffled through the clothes she hadn't unpacked yet. There, under several skirts was a jumper of James' that she hadn't given back after they had been for a walk round the lake when it was cold.

It was cashmere, it was warm and it smelt of him. She slid off her t-shirt, feeling the cold air round her chest before she pulled on the jumper. The wool-like material was soft, but slightly itchy; she didn't care though as it grazed gently against her shoulders and breasts. The sleeves fell round her fingertips, and the hem was definitely past her waist, but she slid once more beneath the covers and balled the excess sleeve length into her fists. She curled up under the duvet, surrounded by his smell and pressed her fists against her nose, breathing deeply to inhale him.

She knew still that he wasn't all hers; he was still keeping something distant, but right now she didn't care about that. She could smell him here beside her, and if she closed her eyes, she could imagine his arms around her. She fell asleep like that, dreaming dreams filled with burning looks and his smell round every corner.

* * *

><p>'MERRY CHRISTMAS!'<p>

_Thud_

Something cold, wet and decidedly indecent landed on James' face, followed shortly by, 'ARGH!'

'Merry Christmas to you too, Padfoot,' James said, rubbing melting snow out of his eyes and shaking it out of his hair.

He looked down at where Sirius was struggling out of the magical snowdrift under the window and sliding on the icy floor James had created before he went to bed the night before. He surveyed Sirius regally, then reached for his wand and vanished the snow, returning the floor to its usual thick, plush carpeting. Sirius scrabbled to his feet, grinning, 'How'd did you know?'

'You did exactly the same thing last year, and the year before; I just didn't feel like letting you off this time.'

Sirius' grinned widened and he bobbed his head in acknowledgment.

'Presents?' he asked, eyes shining with anticipation.

'Yup.'

James heaved the covers aside, found some pyjama bottoms and a t-shirt and followed Sirius in bounding along the corridor and down the stairs.

'Here come the rampant lions!' Charlus Potter called to his wife from where he was viewing the snowy garden through the French windows in the living room, cup of tea in hand.

'Merry Christmas Dad! Merry Christmas Mum!'

Dorea Potter appeared from the kitchen as they flooded down the hallway; Sirius grabbed her in a hug, kissing her soundly on both cheeks and saying, 'Merry Christmas, Mrs Potter!'

'Thank you, Sirius! And the same to you!' she replied, giggling like a teenage girl and a few wisps of greying hair escaped from the unruly bun at the back of her head. It was easy to see where James got his ridiculous hair from.

He reached the living room, and approached Charlus, holding out a hand to say, 'Merry Christmas, Sir!'

'How many times do I have to tell you…' Charlus said, shaking his head and Sirius hand, before pulling his surrogate son into a warm hug, 'And a Merry Christmas to you, old boy!'

They turned to look at the tree; a pine leviathan from the forests of Scotland, glistening with gold and silver baubles, crystal snowflakes, fairies glowing in the depths of the spiny leaves and dusted with magical snow. In the place of a star or a fairy, at the very top, the little yellow jobberknoll that usually lived in the kitchen perched in pride of place and gazed serenely down at them all, as if daring them to say it wasn't supposed to be there.

Best of all, though; to James and Sirius, were the presents. Although not stacked high in piles or heaps, they were there and they could already tell that each had been chosen with thought and care.

But before they launched themselves at the presents, Charlus Potter was to go through a ritual that had occurred in James' family as long as he could remember. Charlus' two elder brothers; Jacobus and Thomas had all been Aurors once, during the dark days of Grindelwald's reign over much of Europe. The eldest brother, Jacobus, had fallen in love with a French witch and moved to France before Grindelwald rose to power. He had died on the night of the fourteenth of August, nineteen forty-two, defending his young wife and his home when he refused to join the ranks of Grindelwald's followers. On hearing the news the younger two brothers had immediately resigned their Auror commissions to go to the continent and fight.

The middle brother had died on Christmas day, nineteen forty-four, during the Christmas Truce of the Muggle World War. Charlus and Thomas had been staying behind Allied lines, looking for information on the whereabouts of Jacobus' killers, when they were ambushed in the small French town of Chartres. Thomas had died so his younger brother could escape and avenge both his brothers' deaths.

So today, on Christmas Day, Charlus Potter always remembered his brothers' sacrifices. He brought out a bottle of Nineteen Forty-four, Alexandre's Ambrosia Armagnac from a drinks' cabinet disguised as a world globe, and poured four measures into four crystal glasses. He handed them round, looked down into the amber liquid of his glass for several long moments, swirled it and then lifted it in a toast, 'To those who cannot be with us.'

'To those who cannot be with us.' His wife and the boys echoed, draining their glasses.

His sombre face faded with as the warmth of the brandy spread through his stomach and he smiled, 'On to happier things then, I believe it's time for presents!'

James and Sirius crouched beneath the spreading branches of the tree to hand out presents as they checked labels.

'Oh no; you shouldn't have! Is this even out yet?' Sirius blurted out as he unwrapped the new Oakshot 2 broomstick James' parents had bought him, 'The other one's perfectly fine!'

'James said it was a bit slow on the acceleration; said it cost him a broken bone in your match against Slytherin. So I gave my old friend Lazenby the nod and he got me this for you.'

'But it's not out till March!' Sirius protested.

'Perks of the job,' Charlus Potter winked at him, 'Oh, wow, James; this is fantastic!' He just pulled the ribbon off a large parcel and the wrapping fell away to reveal a fully functioning model of the solar system. James' Father had recently become very interested in the planets, buying several telescopes and turning one the upstairs rooms into a sort of miniature observatory.

Immediately he started prodding the planets about with his wand, like a young child until his wife tutted at him and handed him another present.

'Oh, Sirius, this is marvellous,' she said as she unwrapped a necklace.

'It's made from Chameleon Coral,' he explained, 'It's more of a summer thing really, but if you leave it beside a dress you want to wear for a day or so before you wear it, it'll change colour to suit the dress.'

'How wonderful!'

* * *

><p>Lily went to bed early on Christmas Day; Vernon's presence hadn't made anything better than it usually was, her mother had ended up in tears after the young man had left as Petunia and Lily screamed insults at each other. Her parents had bought her some lovely new clothes, and a beautiful dress she thought she might wear while she was at James'. It was more of a formal dress, but it was so lovely that Lily just felt she had to wear it as soon as possible.<p>

To tell the truth, she didn't think she could wait till tomorrow to see James. She knew she would hardly sleep tonight, but she went to bed early anyway; mostly to get away from Petunia who never came in Lily's room. Not since Laura's owl, Flummox, had delivered a letter while Petunia was stealing one of Lily's blouses; Lily had heard the screams from the garden.

She slept fitfully; too much Christmas pudding weighing in her stomach and wishing for sleep that would not come.

* * *

><p>Even after a day of presents, excitement, snowball fights, chasing the Crups round in the snow, while the Jarvey called ribald and inappropriate commentary from under the rose bushes, a feast of a Christmas dinner, including champagne, wine and brandy afterwards. James was physically tired but his brain was buzzing as he collapsed into his bed, knowing that tomorrow Lily would be here, in his house.<p>

He thought of his parents downstairs; cuddling together on the sofa in front of the fire, listening to Ben Fuller's '_Magical Christmas_' on the wireless. He wondered if he'd be like that when he reached that age and he wondered if it would be Lily he'd be cuddling.

* * *

><p>James woke with a start, breathing heavily as the dream vanished in wave of adrenalin that left sweating beneath his twisted duvet. He'd been falling, and he had shouted, scrabbling through his pockets for his wand as the ground rushed towards him. Some instinct had told him Lily wasn't there.<p>

His breathing was ragged in his ears as he reached for the glass of water by his bedside. Oddly, his eyes seemed to be watering and suddenly remembered what day it was. It was Boxing Day and that meant…


	17. Chapter 16, The Potter Household

'By Merlin, James! You didn't tell us she was _ginger_!'

'Charlus!' James' Mum scolded.

'Or so damnably pretty,' Mr Potter finished, 'It's nice to meet you, Lily, I'm Charlus Potter, James' long-suffering Father,' the grey haired man just inside the door said.

Lily blushed, realising just what James had meant by, "he's a nightmare". James' parents looked a good ten years older than her own; both had completely grey hair, and yet both seemed to sparkle with youthful vivacity.

'It's a pleasure to meet you,' Lily tried to reply as he shook her hand, but James' Mum was appalled.

'I must apologise for my husband, dear, he's worse than the boys sometimes!' She swooped down on Lily and kissed her on both cheeks, 'It's lovely to meet you.'

'The boys? Do you have a brother, James?' Lily asked in confusion as James' Mum tried to sort out her hair for the third time since she had arrived with James to pick Lily up; it was easy to see where James' rumpled looks came from. Mrs Potter though still managed to look elegant; as though she had just been dancing and her hair had got out of order. Not quite the same as James' windswept style.

'What? Oh, no; Sirius lives with us most of the time.' He filled her in.

'Is he here now then?'

'No, he went down to Remus' this morning.'

'Oh, I haven't kicked him out or anything, have I?' Lily asked, still trying to get over just how big the house was. You could have probably fitted most of her house in the hallway and they had _chandeliers_.

'Of course not, he said he thought you should be able to meet my parents without him hanging around.'

'Enough hanging around here, James!' Mr Potter interrupted, 'Shut the door; it's freezing out there. I'll get Cheery to make tea and you can take her bag upstairs and show her around.'

'That's a good idea, Charlus, go and show Lily around, James.'

James pushed the door shut, picked up her bag and directed her up the sweeping, split staircase. She just heard James' Mum saying, 'He never said she was so beautiful,' as they ascended to the upper floor.

She smiled to herself, somehow feeling comfortable despite her new, grand surroundings. The walls were creamy, the carpet was thick, there were beautiful paintings on the walls and the whole place was, well, massive.

He lead her along a corridor, turning to grin at her every so often as he held her hand in his, her bag in the other, 'This is the West Wing, or "The Children's' Wing" as my Father calls it. My parents never come through here; they basically live in the East Wing and the centre part. You're in the room beside mine, the bathroom is just opposite.'

They climbed another small flight of stairs; just five or six then he stopped and pushed a door on his left open. The room was probably twice as big as Lily's at home; it had a double bed, a huge Victorian looking wardrobe, a chest of drawers, a dressing table and stool, bay windows looking over the gardens, a sofa and its own fireplace.

'Wow,' breathed Lily.

James looked oddly embarrassed as he put her bag on the chaise lounge at the end of the bed. She followed him and slid her arms around his waist from behind, 'Your parents seem nice.'

'See what I mean about my Father though?' He replied, turning around in her arms; it was just beginning to snow again outside.

Lily grinned, 'Yeah.'

'Just give as good as you get, if it gets really bad; call him Clumsy Charlie.' James advised.

'Why?'

'There was a Charity Quidditch match a few years ago now; our Ministry against the French. Well, we were winning by one hundred and forty points. Then the French seeker went into a dive after the snitch, Father was playing Chaser; he was about to score. We needed those ten points to at least draw the game. He missed the goal and the French seeker caught the snitch and won the match. He got the nickname right after the botched goal.' James explained, his eyes shining with mirth.

Lily laughed again, and James helped her out of her coat, putting it away in the wardrobe for her, 'If you don't mind, Cheery will unpack for you; she'll just put your clothes in the drawers and wardrobe. That sort of thing, that alright?'

Lily was a little astonished, it was like being in some incredibly posh hotel, 'I… are you sure?'

'Yeah, totally,' James said, with an easy smile.

'Ok then.'

'Great, let's get rid of your shoes, then I'll show you around?' He suddenly swept her off her feet and he gave a little shriek, as he placed her on the bed, growling deeply, 'It's useless; there's no one to hear you scream.'

Lily giggled at the twinkle in his eyes and he kissed her on the nose, before kneeling down in front of her, slipping off her shoes himself, 'I can do that!' she complained.

'I know, but I bet I like doing it more,' James grinned, putting then to one side and standing up, 'Come on; you get the tour now, hope you brought your hiking boots.'

'Is it that bad?'

'Worse than you can imagine! Though I'm afraid we don't have as many secret passageways as Hogwarts.'

'Shame,' Lily muttered as he led her out the door.

'This is the bathroom, if you don't mind sharing with me? I can always move my stuff to the other one…'

'No, it's fine!' Lily said, wondering at this incredible display of chivalry from James and marvelling at the size of the bathroom; a shower, a separate sunken bath, two sinks, a toilet and a bidet, all in white and sea green tiling. There was also a floor to ceiling mirror behind the sinks, opposite the bath and shower.

'Why two sinks?' Lily asked.

'Sirius couldn't be bothered to walk to the end of the hall to brush his teeth, so we ended up fighting over the sink until Mum got a second one put in.' James replied, his smile exploding into another grin.

'Which one was your room?'

They crossed the corridor again, back to the side Lily's room was on and James opened the next door down. Lily handed been sure what to expect, but this room was a riot of Quidditch posters, Wizarding bands and odd little bits and pieces that crowded the desk which stood instead of a dressing table. There were some clothes on a chair in the corner, but the bed was made and it was a lot tidier than Lily would have expected. It was much the same as her room otherwise.

'It's not always like this,' James admitted, 'Mum must have sent Cheery in to tidy up while we were collecting you.'

* * *

><p>They found James' parents downstairs in the sitting room where the huge Christmas tree stood, glittering.<p>

'Oh,' Lily gasped; it was nothing like the stunted little thing in their living room at home, 'I… Are those _live_ faeries?'

'Yes, dear,' James' Mum said from a sofa near the fire, 'Tea?'

'Yes, please. You have such a beautiful house.'

'Thank you, it's been in Charlus' family for several generations, but we've updated the interior a bit. Haven't we dear?' Mrs Potter replied.

'What?' Charlus looked up over a scale model of the solar system, 'Yes, quite,' he muttered distractedly, before going back to examining one of Jupiter's moons.

James' Mum sighed, and gave Lily a look that clearly said, '_Boys…_'

* * *

><p>After tea James found Lily a pair of wellington boots and some thick socks, suggesting a quick wander round the garden while it had stopped snowing. They moved through to the back of the house and James opened an unremarkable door that led into a little room, there was a skittering sound and several excited yelps, then a flood of small dogs overflowed into the far side of the room.<p>

'It's alright,' James said loudly, as they scrabbled around the boots Lily had just put on, 'They just get a bit excited, well, most of the time really…' he grinned at her and shouted, 'Back ye devils!' as he pulled on a tweed hunting jacket.

The tumbling, furry, mass of bodies around Lily's feet suddenly shot off back into the other room, apart from one which looked around confusedly. Lily felt a little sorry for the small dog, but James scooped it up under one arm, rolled his eyes and said, 'There's always one. Isn't there, Snuffles?' scratching it behind the ears as it tried to sniff his pockets, 'Come on, let's let the others out.'

He strode through the next door. Lily followed and found a panting wedge had formed by a door that obviously led to the gardens on this side of the house, there were piles of old pillows and blankets spread around one side of this room, 'They sleep in here,' James explained as he opened the door and Crups vanished into the garden.

There was a little patio, with a frozen fountain and a sundial just outside on a terrace, then steps onto what would have been a large lawn, but for the snow. An amazing view across the Downs to the cliffs presented itself; rolling acres of undulating hills that extended upwards until… it was almost as if they had been cut off by some mighty knife. The grass and snow just rose gently upwards and then, there was nothing; just sky.

James put Snuffles down and the little dog raced off after the others.

'It looks like the end of the world,' Lily said, gazing across the expanse with wide eyes.

'I know what you mean, it's incredible,' he came up behind her and drew her close with his arms around her waist. Steamy breath froze the air in front of them, but she was warm in the circle of his arms. She leant back into him comfortably and felt him nuzzle her neck through her hair; she suddenly had the feeling that she could quite happily stay like this forever.

'Oi! Carrot-top, leave the poor blighter alone!' someone suddenly shouted in an oddly Cockney accent.

Lily spun round looking for the source of the noise, and found James laughing silently to himself.

'Who said that?' she asked as the bushes at the side of the lawn rustled, 'Don't tell me Black's hiding in there!'

'No,' James said, stifling laughter at the expression of righteous indignation of Lily's face, 'that's the Jarvey; he's probably hiding in the rose bushes; Father nicknamed him Oscar. As in Oscar Wilde?'

'Oh… very amusing,' Lily replied, unsure what to make of it, 'shall we head inside?'

* * *

><p>James was brushing his teeth, wondering what on earth to do with himself; he desperately wanted to go and join Lily in her bed. Not necessarily to do anything, but just to be near her; she was intoxicating to simply be around, and imagining simply being able to lie next to her all night, maybe with his arms around her, was almost a dream of James'.<p>

He looked at himself in the mirror; he'd donned some stripy pyjama bottoms for decency's sake, but he'd usually just wander about in his boxers. A girl was in the house though, and that called for etiquette. Still, he'd left off his top and he admired himself while he brushed; Quidditch had given him muscles, but he wasn't exactly a bodybuilder.

The door handle twisted and Lily stepped inside, she looked up, saw him and gasped, 'Sorry,' then began to close the door again.

'Lils, there's two sinks just for that reason.' He pointed out quickly.

'I… you sure?'

'Yes, Lily,' James replied in a sing-song voice reminiscent of Peeves.

She came in, and James couldn't help but admire her; she'd brushed out her hair and it looked like a mixture of burnished gold and polished bronze as it spilled down across her shoulders. James swallowed as he realised that, judging from the lack of usual tell-tale signs across her shoulders, she wasn't wearing a bra under her t-shirt. Her bum sashayed gently past him, clad in flannel, gingham check to the next sink and it was all he could do not to stare.

'James?' Lily said as she put toothpaste on her toothbrush, a slight note of warning in her voice.

Oh no, she'd seen him staring. She didn't say anything more though until she had finished brushing her teeth, and James was just drying his face. She wandered over beside him and watched him in the mirror; he could see the curve of her breasts through the Genesis t-shirt she was wearing. He suddenly felt terribly nervous.

'What awfully big eyes you have.' She said, with a hint of a smile on her lips.

James turned to face her instead of the mirror version, looked down at her and said, 'You know what Sirius' reply to that would be; don't you.'

For a second it was obvious that Lily didn't. Then she realised and a pink tinge spread across her cheeks, she pushed him away towards the door, saying, 'You're terrible, and so's he, even if he's not here!'

James found himself pushed out into the corridor and the door closed behind him, then opened again a second later, 'James, there's no lock on this door.'

'You have to ask it nicely,' he grinned back at her, 'I'll be in my room if you want me.'

The door closed and James waited, listening for Lily's uncertain, 'Lock, please,' before he went through to his room and rolled onto the bed. He turned off the main lights, leaving just a soft golden glow across the room.

For the first time in his life he wasn't sure what to do about a girl. What did he do next; did he stay here and just leave Lily alone? Did he go and say goodnight? Was she going to come to him? A hundred scenarios rushed through his mind, and to try and kill some time, he wandered across to the window. He opened them slightly and looked out; there was starlight glowing white off the snowy lawn and few more flakes fell past the window as he watched.

Then he heard soft footsteps pad across the carpet outside, then a door clicked shut and he made up his mind.

He turned off his light, went out into the corridor, turned off the corridor light too, and knocked softly on Lily's door.

'Yes? Come in.' she called quietly.

Heart hammering in his chest, he turned the handle and pushed the door open, sliding inside to lean against the wall.

Lily was lying under the thick duvet, a book in hand, lit by the same golden glow of a table lamp that lit his room.

'Just thought I'd say goodnight,' James explained his presence.

Lily looked at him for a moment, and then put her book aside. James' mind suddenly went blank and he stood there like an idiot.

'Well, come on then,' Lily said and lifted a corner of the duvet for him.

Something gave a deep sigh of relief in James' chest and he threw her a grin, walking forward and slipping under the covers beside her, 'Budge over, there's not much room with you in there,' he said.

Lily's mouth fell open in a neat 'O' and surprise shone across her face, 'James! With that kind of behaviour you can go back to your own bed!'

'I was just joking!' he said, smiling and leaning over her to kiss her on the nose.

She wrinkled it and shifted away across the other side of bed, turning her back to him, 'Humph, well, I think you should apologise!'

James wriggled after her and nuzzled her neck, murmuring seriously 'I. Am.'

He pushed the shoulder of her t-shirt aside slightly with his nose, 'Terribly.'

He placed kisses down her collar bone, 'Sorry.'

He finished and pounced, holding her down as he nibbled at her ear lobe. She shook her head and started giggling wildly, letting out little shrieks, 'James! No! Stop! Stop right now! Nooo!'

She struggled and James suddenly found himself on his back, Lily on top of him, her chest pressed against his. He could feel her heart hammering, and her breasts pressed against him through the t-shirt. It was suddenly very apparent to both of them she wasn't wearing a bra.

Something that wasn't passion shone in Lily's eyes for a moment, then it was gone and she dipped her lips to James'.

* * *

><p>James rolled her over so he loomed over her, one arm supporting himself, the other hand running lightly down the side of her t-shirt until it reached the hem. One leg between hers, her right foot was curled around his left. His fingers toyed with the waistband of her pyjamas for a moment, then ran lightly across the silky skin of her navel, under her t-shirt.<p>

She didn't seem to even notice his hand as he pulled her into an even deeper kiss. His hand ran a little higher up her side, until it reached the bottom of her ribs and his fingertips drew little patterns on her skin. His left leg was between hers, supporting him from putting his whole weight on her, and suddenly he realised that she moving slightly against his thigh as he broke away from her lips. He laid gentle kisses across her cheek and down her neck, feeling the pulse in her neck with his lips. She turned her head to help him and he continued further down, 'It's so hot,' she breathed and he leaned back to look her in the eyes.

He regarded her for a moment, meeting her eyes and then glanced down, questioningly, before returning to her emerald gaze. She was slightly flushed, breathing heavily, her eyes slightly unfocused, but as he looked at her she focused on him, then just as he was about to ask his silent question again she nodded. It was hardly a nod, a tiny incline of her beautiful chin, but her eyes said more and his hands travelled back down to the hem of her t-shirt.

They returned moments later, dragging the material with them, and then it was on the floor beside the bed and James couldn't bear to break his gaze away from hers and look down. He kissed her again instead, feeling her deliciously naked skin against his.

* * *

><p>To Lily's surprise, after that first little tickle along her waist when his fingers played with the top of pyjamas, James didn't even attempt to go further down. He seemed content to simply kiss and be next to her, his hands running across her tummy until she was so hot from being so close to him it was uncomfortable.<p>

His eyes held hers, and she realised she'd spoken out loud. A questioning look came over those hazel orbs and he glanced down, she hesitated, scared again, then she threw caution to the wind. The air felt deliciously cool, and she realised he was still staring into her eyes, then there was simply his skin against hers and she almost gasped as his lips met hers again.

* * *

><p>Later, they both lay there, tired and semi-naked, James still propped up on one arm, lazily drawing patterns around her tummy-button and somehow she didn't care that he could see her. His finger kept drawing patterns but his eyes turned to hers and watched her thoughtfully.<p>

'What are you thinking?' she asked softly.

'Just how beautiful you are,' he whispered back, 'and wondering what I ever did to deserve you.'


	18. Chapter 17, Failure

**Failure**

* * *

><p>James woke surprisingly late the next morning, and almost stretched, yawning, but he realised there was a small body curled against him. He looked down and found a mass of red hair cascading across his chest to the girl by his side.<p>

An absurd thought hit him. If ever word got out that he slept with a beautiful girl in his arms all night and hadn't shagged her; no, made love, _shagged_ wasn't a word he could associate with Lily, then his reputation would be ruined. He grinned at this thought, and felt very happy with himself. He also realised that, for once, he hadn't woke up at all during the night.

He looked down at Lily and smiled again, a warm glow spreading through his chest; every time she breathed softly in, a stray strand of hair tickled her nose and she kept wrinkling it up in her sleep. Suddenly she rolled over, snuggling her head into his shoulder and pressing her torso against his side.

He propped his head up on the pillow and looked down at her. He drew gentle, ghostly letters across Lily's back and she murmured, 'Shh… sleeping…' quietly.

'Wake up, Lily,' he whispered, 'Wake up.'

'Shhh, it's warm.' She murmured again, beginning to wake up.

He bent his neck and kissed her forehead, 'Wake up, Lily.'

'Mmhmm,' She opened her eyes and blinked at him.

'Good morning, babe.'

'Mm, morning.' She snuggled up closer against him.

'Need to get up, Lily.'

'Not yet, its warm.' She grumbled back, only half awake.

James gently rolled her over on her back, rolling with her so he was half on top of her; he kissed her nose, then missing out her lips; her chin, her neck, down the centre of her chest and to her navel. Then, he took a deep breath, placed his mouth over her tummy-button and blew a loud raspberry.

Lily came fully awake very suddenly.

* * *

><p>'Morning!' James called cheerfully, as he walked into the kitchen.<p>

'You slept in late,' his Mother said from where she was watering some flowers on the windowsill with a small jug.

'Tired, I expect,' his Father said ambiguously from behind the Daily Prophet he was reading.

James just put the kettle on the hob.

'It's odd you know; you think they would have found old Frettington by now, wouldn't you?'

'He probably just went on holiday and forgot to tell anyone,' James' Mother replied as she finished watering the plants, 'Where's Lily, darling?'

'Senile dementia setting in if you ask me,' Charlus said knowledgeably, 'I told him only last month that he should of retired when I did, mind like a sieve these days.'

'She's in the shower,' James replied, pouring tea.

'What are you going to do today?'

'I thought we might go down to the cliffs and have a wander; maybe head in to Diagon Alley tomorrow, see if there's any sales on.'

'Alright then, dear. Supper's at eight, remember.'

'Yes, Mother,' James sighed, picking up the two mugs of tea and speaking to the air, 'Cheery, you couldn't bring breakfast up to the West Wing could you?'

The elf appeared with a _crack_ a bobbed a quick curtsy, 'Yes, Master James.'

* * *

><p>'You know, I like her; she's sort of… I'm not sure if it's the right word; untarnished.'<p>

'That's an odd choice, Padfoot.' Remus replied, looking quizzically at his friend.

Sirius frowned thoughtfully, 'Well look at other girls; like Canton-Fell, Greene, Meliflua, they're all, sort of, well…'

He couldn't think of the word to describe her.

'Not virgins?' Peter supplied.

'Exactly. No!' Sirius agreed and disagreed with himself and exclaimed, 'And yet, yes. There's something delightfully innocent about her.'

'Unlike any of your girlfriends.' Remus pointed out.

'Hey! I make it my personal goal to tutor young ladies in the ways of the world.' Sirius replied with a grin.

'And make them so disappointed in every other male on the planet.' Peter added.

'I can't help that,' Sirius shrugged.

'What about Lily?' Peter asked.

'You know, she kind of fits into the same category; she's not naïve, but… well… she's Lily.'

Remus sighed and said, 'I know exactly what you mean. You know, Padfoot, about last term…'

'Don't.' Sirius replied tersely.

'You should have apologised to Lizz-'

'Leave it.'

'Fine.'

* * *

><p>'You know Lily; I never gave you your Christmas present.'<p>

'Mmm?' Lily replied; she was reading a book on the window seat in the playroom as James lounged by the fire. He got up and wandered over to her.

'So, I thought I'd give you this,' He held out his fist and suddenly a locket dropped on a silver chain from it, stopping in front of her eyes.

'Oh, James, it's beautiful! Where did you get it?'

'Oh, it's a family thing, but I want you to have it.'

Lily stared at him, 'James, I can't take it, not if it belongs to your family.'

He smiled easily at her, 'Consider it on loan then, Mum said she thought you would like it,' he replied, taking it from her hands, and fastening it around her neck. Then he took a little hand mirror out of his pocket and gave it to her so she could see herself.

It was a silver heart, and it appeared to have a catch on one side. Lily tried to open it, but it wouldn't. Something shone in James' eyes for a moment, but Lily was too busy admiring the heart.

'It's got initials on it; "C.P to D.B" are those…?'

'Charlus Potter and Dorea Black.'

'Are you related to Sirius then?'

'Distantly,' James grinned, 'all pure-bloods are related if you go back far enough. He's like my third cousin, twice removed on my great aunt's third niece's side or something. Peter's a bit less related than that, and Remus probably fits in somewhere; his Dad's a pure-blood.'

'Well, thank you,' she smiled at him and leant forward for a kiss, 'you know; I actually got you something as well.'

'Really?' James said, excitement lighting up his eyes, and Lily almost laughed; he just like a big kid sometimes.

'Yes,' she replied, getting to her feet, 'I'll be back in a moment.'

* * *

><p>Lily walked along the corridor to her room, marvelling at the last few days. Potter Manor was enormous; James' parents had a separate wing, which she hadn't even been in and what was left was still several times bigger than her parents' house. They hadn't really seen James' parents at all, unless they went to the main sitting room, or bumped into them in the garden.<p>

It had been an amazing few days and she could see why James had been like he had in his first few years at school. If he had come from this; of course he wasn't impressed by the castle, of course he had been arrogant and that had got out of hand. He had matured though, and now, Lily was happy to say that he was a different person.

She thought about the current sleeping arrangements and smiled to herself; James hadn't slept in his bed since she had arrived. Lily would never have expected her own reaction though; she hadn't really thought about it when she invited him into her bed, but now she was strangely happy she had. She knew it was strange, but for some reason she didn't feel self-conscious in front of James. Maybe it was the way he looked at her; she didn't feel self-conscious, just… just… appreciated? It wasn't the right word, but it was close.

She pushed open the door to her room, and went across the bag she had brought; she took a small, square parcel. It was a book; it had just come out before Christmas and it was the most comprehensive on its subject that had ever been written. There were little snowmen on the wrapping paper.

She took it back through, finding James on the sofa in front of the fire and handed it to him, 'A book?' he asked, raising an eyebrow.

'Not just any book,' Lily replied, trying not to smile.

He tore off the wrapping paper, 'Merlin, Lily! Padfoot said he tried to get me a copy of this, but they had sold out everywhere he went, how did you get it?'

In James' lap, lay a brand new copy of '_Quidditch Through the Ages' _by Kennilworthy Whisp.

Lily smiled properly this time, and rolled her eyes, 'I did the obvious thing and ordered it in advance.'

'Ah, the "best laid plans of mice and men".' James quoted at her.

'"Sense and sensibility" actually,' Lily smirked back.

James raised an eyebrow threateningly.

Lily pursed her lips.

James leapt.

Lily dodged and ran giggling out of the room.

* * *

><p>'My Lord, Frettington has been disposed of.'<p>

'Good,' the imposing figure facing the fire turned. Brown hair was swept back from a pale forehead, high cheekbones and a straight nose. The man was tall, the face was handsome and impassive, but the eyes were terrifying.

It was as though they had imbued the anger of the sparking fire behind him; the irises glowed demonically red like burning coals, and they seemed to bore into the hunched man before him. The man cowered, 'an… and Yaxley has imperiused Quentin Hargreave, my Lord. It should only be a matter of time b… before we have informers in the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.'

'And Rookwood?' the voice issued softly from barely moving lips.

'He says he has been approached by the Unspeakables.'

'Good. There is no hurry; let them wallow in their self-contentment, their safety and arrogance. We are on the rise, are we not, Bella?' He turned to the young woman who stood nearby.

She was watching him with a mixture of adoration and concern. She had only lately been told of the real purpose behind the political movement that was growing in the pure-blood community. But she had accepted completely and without reservations, his offer of limitless power in a new world, under a new order.

'Yes, my Lord, we will sweep the filth from this world,' she pouted as she spoke, and Lord Voldemort watched her. She was beautiful, he could easily admit that, but he had no interest in her; there was growing fanatical glow in her eyes, loyalty unbound, an interesting trait of her family.

He turned back to the cowering man before him, 'You have not told me all, Avery.'

'M…my Lord?'

'Lord Voldemort knows, Avery, Lord Voldemort always knows,' he raised his wand and the man shrank almost to his knees.

'My Lord! It was Crabbe! Scrimgeour discovered him at his house; your plan to hold him hostage was a fine one my Lord, his brother in the Auror Office wou- AAARGH!'

He let out a high pitched scream and fell not only to his knees, but to the floor and spasms rolled through his body as it contorted wildly.

Lord Voldemort released him and he lay, curled up and whimpering quietly, 'Did I not task you with capturing the man, and you alone, so that we could use him to extract information from his brother?'

'Y… Yes, my Lord! He sobbed.

'And now, it would appear he is dead. Having Rufus Scrimgeour under our control would have been most useful. But with Brutus dead… You set the Mark?'

'Yes, my Lord.'

'Then it seems you did not fail in everything,' he paused for a moment and then continued softly, 'You will try again.'

'M…my Lord?'

'Find another.' The man snapped, showing emotion for the first time.

* * *

><p>'I'm sorry we didn't really see much of you yesterday,' James' Mum apologised, 'An urgent call at St. Mungo's; a family incident.'<p>

'They're always the worst,' his Dad added as the covers over the dishes vanished and James started to help himself to potatoes, 'Wine?' he added, holding out a bottle.

Lily glanced at James, unsure.

He raised an eyebrow, 'Don't look at me, Lily; you're the one drinking it.'

James' Dad was already pouring wine for her by the time she turned back, so she accepted the glass and set it down beside her plate. James traded the potatoes for the vegetables and piled carrots beside his gammon.

'So, Lily, what do your parents do?' Mr Potter asked her.

'Charlus, you don't have to interrogate the poor girl.' James' Mum cut in.

'I'm just asking!'

'Dad works for an engineering company, and Mum works in a bookshop sometimes.' Lily answered.

'Ah… engineering, eh? What kind?'

Lily wasn't entirely sure, and definitely wasn't prepared for that kind of question from a wizard's parents, she coughed as a pea tickled her throat and Mrs Potter reached for her wand.

'I'm alright; um… he helps with designing oil platforms, and deep sea equipment.'

'Ah, so marine architecture and engineering then?' he asked knowledgeably.

'Yes,' Lily replied grasping at straws, and wondering how James' Dad seemed to know more about it than she did.

Mrs Potter noticed her confusion and answered her unasked question, 'Charlus was part of a unit stationed in the Muggle Navy for a while.'

'Oh.'

'All hush hush though, so don't ask.' Charlus said with a wink.

* * *

><p>'James?'<p>

'Yup?'

'Why does Sirius live with you?'

She felt him tense, and knew already she wouldn't get a real answer; it was one of those forbidden topics it seemed.

'Family problems.'

'Oh.'

Lily didn't ask any more questions. She lay against James' bare chest and after a few minutes felt him relax again.


	19. Chapter 18, Only If You Do

'My God! James; have you seen the paper?'

James looked over her shoulder.

'_Author found dead at his home in Lincolnshire, _

_Sinister symbol in sky over house.'_

There was a black and white picture of huge, smoky skull; mouth open with a snake curling from between grinning teeth, floating in the sky over a small country cottage.

'_Brutus Scrimgeour was found dead at his home and Law Enforcement Officers called Aurors to the scene as Dark magic is suspected to have been involved. Currently a spokesperson from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement has said, 'We suspect murder, but nothing has been confirmed yet, there are signs that a struggle took place.'_

_ Members of the Auror Department were unavailable for comment.'_

'Merlin, that looks a bit crazy, what do you think it means?'

'Something to do with those Death Eater radicals?' Lily asked, shaking her head in sorrow, but she turned the page, 'So what were we going to do today?' she asked and took a bite of her toast.

It was Lily's last night at Potter Manor and also New Year's Eve.

James looked up and grinned wickedly, 'Well,' he began, 'first of all we are going to go for a walk-'

'I need to have a shower first.' Lily interrupted.

'Not today,' James replied quickly, 'Then we'll have a leisurely lunch, then there will be massages-'

'Massages?' Lily looked surprised, and slightly confused.

'That's what I said, and then maybe an afternoon snooze, then you'll probably want to get ready for tonight.'

'Tonight?'

'Yes, tonight, Lils. We've got some people coming; it is New Year's Eve.'

'Oh God, James! You could have told me! I haven… Oh, yes I have.'

'You can wear that beautiful dress you showed me, the one you said you got for Christmas.' James replied, grinning like a cat, 'C'mon, finish up; we've got a busy day.'

Lily looked at him over the rim of her cup of tea, 'James, we've got all day…'

'Oh, alright then…' he rolled his eyes at her, 'forgive me for being just a little bit excited…'

'Who's coming this evening?' she asked.

'Just a few a people,' He replied, waving a hand vaguely as he helped himself to more toast, apparently he wasn't that bothered about their "busy day".

'Like who?' Lily was intrigued.

'Ministry people and the like, Sirius is coming back and a couple of others might be about.'

'Like who?' Lily persisted.

'Shh,' he said, leaning across for a kiss and stealing the paper from in front of Lily, 'the secret's in the telling.'

* * *

><p>'You promised me a massage this morning,' Lily reminded James as he shook the snow off their coats and hung them up.<p>

'That I did,' James gave her a lecherous wink, 'So get upstairs and take your clothes off.'

Lily kicked her boots off, stuck her tongue out at him and ran up the stairs. He caught her at the top and pulled her into a deep kiss, she broke away though, disappointment clear in her voice, 'I thought you were being serious about the massage.'

She could feel him grin as he kissed her chastely once more, 'I was. Now, go and put something comfortable on, I'll be along in a minute.'

Lily frowned at him, but she had learnt not to question his odd little moments in the last few days. Was he going to give her a massage? What did James Potter know about massages? She turned to go, but he turned her back towards him; his face serious for once. He looked as though he was about to say something.

A warm glow spread through her, an uninhibited smile rose across her lips and she knew what he was going to say before he said it. She knew because she was thinking the same thing.

'Lily, I-'

James' voice failed; he knew it, but he wasn't sure he could say it, he wasn't sure if she did. If he did say it, it felt almost as though he would be betraying…

Lily's smile broadened and she let the unsaid words hang in the air for a moment before she said, 'I know, I know,' and kissed him one last time.

* * *

><p>Five minutes later Lily lay on her tummy on her bed in her pyjamas and her Genesis t-shirt, reflecting on how little the t-shirt had been used for sleeping in recently. The door opened quietly and she looked up; James had a bottle in one hand and was clad only in a pair of cotton pyjama bottoms.<p>

'You'll need to take your t-shirt off,' he said, sitting on the edge of the bed.

Lily raised a questioning eyebrow but slipped off her t-shirt.

'That bra will have to go too,' he said with a grin.

Lily rolled her eyes, 'Is this just a plan to get me naked? Let me guess, the bottoms as well?'

'Only if you want me to do your legs,' James replied seriously, reaching forward and unhooking her bra for her, 'you can leave them on for now if you want.'

Lily didn't know how to reply to that, unsure whether he was joking or not, but she slipped her bra straps off her shoulders and modestly covering herself, dropped it on the floor with her t-shirt. She lay back down and James shuffled onto the bed, by her waist. She reflected that they had not actually seen each other naked yet, despite their playful fumbling before they went to sleep.

There was the snap of a bottle opening and the scent of lavender reached Lily, then oil, presumably, dripped on to her back. Slight slithering noises told her James was rubbing his hands together and then he began to massage her back, in broad, sweeping strokes; starting at the bottom of her spine and moving outwards. His hands felt warm as they glided across her skin, not too hard, not too soft.

She reached behind her and pulled her hair to one side as he moved higher, towards her shoulder blades, sighing comfortably.

* * *

><p>James couldn't believe she was letting him do this, but for him it was dream come true. His hands smoothed across her pale skin, fingers working at an odd, tense knot. Firm, but gentle kneading smoothed out any tenseness he found, and he moved to her shoulders, stopping to drip just a little more lavender oil into his palm.<p>

He raised one leg and moved over her, so he was straddling her, kneeling just above her bum so there was no pressure on her. It was almost hypnotic; his hands moved over her shoulders and he closed his eyes, searching out knots and slowly working them away by touch alone.

Twenty minutes later he could tell she was nearly asleep and he felt a little nervous as he said, 'Legs, Lily?'

It was a second or so before she answered, whether out of indecision or simple relaxation, he couldn't tell, 'Mhmm, please…'

He rubbed some of the oil off his hands on his own chest and reached for the waistband of her pyjamas, heart beating a vicious tattoo against his ribs. She didn't seem to notice the tension though, as he shifted down the bed slightly and his heart was almost in his mouth as she raised her hips upwards. He hadn't felt this nervous since… he couldn't really think about it; there was only him and Lily and right now, in this moment, that was all.

He gently slid the waistband downwards, revealing heart-stoppingly pale blue underwear with little pink bows on either side of her hips. He drew the pyjamas further down; peeling them away to reveal a cute little rear swathed in silk and further down, pale legs, tiny feet, and then Lily was clad in next to nothing.

James was sort of glad she couldn't see his arousal.

He started at her feet and they twitched slightly as he ran oily palms over her soles and up to her ankles. He went slowly over her calves, working meticulously over every centimetre of skin, almost fearful of going higher, terrified of what Lily might be thinking.

He reached the back of her knees and she groaned comfortably as he worked his way up the back of her thighs. On one side her underwear had ridden up slightly, revealing the beginnings of yet more smooth skin; with infinite slowness he worked his way up and with sudden, reckless courage he slipped the very tips of his fingers under the silk around her hips.

A pleasurable, 'Mmm,' came from her throat.

James swallowed, slowly shook his head to try and clear it, before rolled away to the side, 'I… Lily?'

She raised her head and looked at him; there something glowing in her eyes he never seen before. She replied in a husky voice he had never heard before and it sent shivers running through every nerve in his body, 'I guess it's my turn now.'

* * *

><p>James lay on his front, only in his boxers as Lily was only in her underwear and feelings she had never felt flooded through her as she ran her hands over the muscles of his shoulders. She was sitting on his bum, knowing she was probably nowhere near as good as he had been, but she was enjoying every moment almost as much as she had enjoyed being massaged.<p>

She moved her hands lower; a sense of devil-may-care recklessness growing in her chest, making her breath slightly quicker and her heart race. She reached the waistband of his boxers and something strange happened.

Everyone has a ticklish spot, no matter what they say; it's simply a case of finding the right place and Lily had spent ages trying to find James'. She didn't believe for a moment his protestations of not being ticklish as he tickled her mercilessly, and as her fingertips reached his waistband his buttocks suddenly clenched, pushing her upwards and he let out a gasp. She had found it.

She grinned hopelessly and abandoned any inhibitions she might have had.

* * *

><p>James gasped and gulped suddenly, almost choking as he felt his boxers being drawn down. He felt Lily lift herself off his bum and he turned over underneath her, not rolling her off him, but stopping her from pulling them down any further.<p>

He saw her swallow as he looked up, he was barely covered and her chest was glistening with a film of oil where she had wiped her own hands on herself. Her breasts rose and fell rhythmically as he stared into her emerald eyes; it was like watching a flame flicker and grow into a consuming blaze. Breathing heavily, she shifted off to one side of him so she was no longer straddling him; kneeling on the duvet, her legs together. Then, with her eyes fixed on his, her hands moved slowly to her own waist, resting for precious moments on her hips beside the little pink bows, and then she slid the silk down to her knees.

* * *

><p>A long time later the sun was beginning to set early across the winter sky, and they lay entwined, naked as children, covered in light film of perfumed oil and sweat. It had been slow, beautiful and quite honestly the most incredible experience of James' life.<p>

It seemed for Lily that there had been little pain, and after a while she began to rock her hips back against his. They had only stopped once, very briefly, for James to cast a quick spell and then they had continued.

Now they lay together, barely awake, breathing together and James felt the happiest he had ever felt in his life. He wanted to live in this moment forever.

But suddenly Lily's eyes fluttered open and she whispered in that husky voice he had never heard before today, 'Do you know what some people do?'

James frowned and replied hoarsely, 'No, what do some people do?'

Lily bit her lip and stifled a giggle, 'I can't say it out loud… it's rude.'

James caught on and grinned, 'Whisper it then.'

She whispered it in his ear.

James' jaw fell open in shock; Sirius probably knew about that sort of thing, but he had quite honestly never thought of it. There was silence for a long time and James began to wonder why Lily had told him, he also began to wonder what it would be like. Then Lily accused softly, 'You want to try it, don't you.'

James turned to her, eyes twinkling with lascivious stars, 'Only if you do.'

* * *

><p>It was completely dark outside when they both lay back again, utterly spent.<p>

'Merlin,' James breathed.

'That was…' Lily whispered.

'Amazing,' James closed his eyes and sighed, 'We need to get ready; shower and stuff.'

'Which bathroom do you want to use?' Lily asked, eyes still glowing.

They both ended up using the same bathroom, and the same shower.


	20. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

* * *

><p>'…<em>SO YOU TRY AND RUN AROUND WITH THAT SLUT BEHIND MY BACK?'<em>

_ 'I never-'_

_ 'I SAW YOU!'_

_ 'SAW WHAT, LILY? SAW ME LOOKING AT A PHOTOGRAPH OF HER BOYFRIEND?'_

_ 'I saw…' for the first time a note of doubt crept into her voice._

_ 'That was it; she just wanted to tell me to my face and all I was doing was trying to work out why you won't trust me.'_

_ 'TRUST YOU! TRUST YOU? BECAUSE THIS IS WHAT YOU'RE DOING BEHIND MY BACK! IT'S NO BLOODY WONDER-'_

_ 'COULDN'T YOU SEE WHAT WAS IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES, LILY?'_

_ 'YES! YOU AND THAT CHEAP-'_

_ 'DON'T INSULT HER!'_

_ 'THAT'S JUST IT, JAMES! YOU'LL TALK TO ANYONE ELSE BUT ME! WHAT'S SO SODDING HARD ABOUT IT?'_

_ 'YOU! BECAUSE YOU REFUSE TO EVEN TRY AND TALK; I'VE BEEN TRYING FOR THE LAST TWO WEEKS AND YOU KEEP FUCKING IGNORING ME!'_

_ 'DON'T SWEAR AT ME! I KNOW YOUR FRIENDS KNEW; THEY JUST ABOUT ADMITTED IT TO MY FACE AND STILL YOU TRY AND LIE TO ME!'_

_ 'YOU'VE GOT THE WRONG END OF THE BLOODY BROOMSTICK!'_

_ 'I'VE HAD IT, JAMES! WITH YOU AND YOU'RE STUPID FRIENDS, WHY DON'T YOU ALL JUST FUCK OFF!'_

_ That was the last straw for James; he had tried, he had really tried. He had thought that Lily Evans was the perfect girl. He had thought that there was no one else but her, and he had been on the edge of telling her everything. He had almost told her what he really felt about her._

_ Now he realised it was all an illusion; she wasn't the perfect girl she pretended to be, she wasn't the role model she acted in public. She was just as petty and jealous and scared as every other girl in the whole stupid world; frightened of actually giving a damn. How could she not see?_

_ 'YOU KNOW WHAT, EVANS? I WISH I HAD KISSED HER, BECAUSE SHE'S A FAR BETTER PERSON THAN YOU EVER WILL BE!' he roared up the stairs after her retreating legs._


	21. Chapter 21, Author's Note

**A/N**:

**Trust**, the next part of the tale, is now being rewritten, it should hopefully be written and posted over the course of the next month.

The first chapter,_ Letters_, can be found at my profile.

"_James and Lily return to Hogwarts for their Seventh Year, each broken in their own way, only to find that the world outside of Hogwarts is slowly beginning to shatter too._"

Thanks to everyone who has kept reading, despite the frequent breaks.


End file.
